


The Walking Dead: A Winter`s Tale (A Love Story)

by D_J_Marlowe



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-25 21:09:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 62,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10772481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/D_J_Marlowe/pseuds/D_J_Marlowe
Summary: Winter is closing in and the war with the Saviors is slowing down. For some it is time to reflect on the past and examine what true feelings lie deep inside. It is a tale of finding love and redemption as the snow and ice changes the world of the dead into a world of cold reality. But there is warmth to be found as two spirited souls come together to fulfill an important mission as well as discover what truly lies deep in their hearts.Note: Violence is no different than the violence depicted in the TV series. The explicit rating I gave it refers to some of the depictions of sex in a few of the scenes. Instead of chapters, I use asterisks (*) to separate the different sections.Chapters have been added and I have corrected (hopefully) all of the typos I missed before.





	The Walking Dead: A Winter`s Tale (A Love Story)

  **PROLOGUE**

 

Autumn 2009  

     Daryl Dixon watched as his brother Merle headed in the direction of the barn where one of his drug dealing friends cooked up the methamphetamine that his older sibling had come to acquire. He knew that they would be in there for hours, lost on a drug trip, oblivious to the problems of the world. He sighed. This was getting old. Daryl just wasn`t into the scene, one of those who preferred to keep his head, a lesson he had learned early on in his life. He was completely covered with the dirt and filth from being out in the woods and wetlands for the past three months, times he actually enjoyed being with Merle. He dug into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. There was only one left so he decided to go ahead and smoke it. The screen door leading out to the front porch squeaked when it opened an a man about Daryl`s age stepped out. He was lean with smoky blond hair and a handsome noble face. He reminded Daryl of the movie star Montgomery Cliff.

     "I didn`t know there was anybody out here. Did you see where Eustace went?"

     "That your brother?" Daryl asked.

     "Yeah."

     "He went to the barn with Merle."

     "He said he was meeting someone by that name. I`m Whitney." He extended his hand towards Daryl.

     "Daryl." He reluctantly shook it, never really trusting strangers. He wasn`t about to begin now.

     Whitney sat down beside him. "They just leave you to sit out here?" He reached over and picked some dead buds off a pot of purple petunias.

     "Yeah." Daryl spat over the railing of the porch. This was the usual routine whenever Merle was in the mood to cook meth for selling with one of his drug contacts.

     Whitney noticed the crossbow leaning against the railing. "That yours?"

     "Umm hmm." Even though Daryl found Whitney attractive he didn`t want to show his interest. He knew what Whitney was just by the eye contact between the two.

     Whitney realized that Daryl was obviously one of those backwoods rednecks with few words, someone who didn`t let anyone in all that easily. He felt comfortable because he instantly knew Daryl was trying to hide his interest in him. Whitney was always curious about people. He found Daryl quite intriguing as well as attractive, in spite of the dirt. "I know who you are now. You must be the one they call Dirty Daryl, Merle`s brother."

     Daryl emitted one of his short hissing laughs. "Yeah, that`s me alright."

     "Eustace mentions you and your brother a lot. Merle`s not the agreeable type is he."

     "Yeah." Merle`s reputation often preceded him, which was a constant annoyance to Daryl.

     "You want to clean up? You can use my private bathroom. I`ll even talk Desiree into washing your clothes for you. She`s my sister." Whitney was going to appear pleasant, which was his usual attitude in general, no matter how asocial Daryl`s got to be.

     Daryl shrugged. He knew he could use a good clean-up. "Alright." He followed Whitney into the house.

     "Whew! What the hell?" A woman in daisy dukes and a tank top emerged from the kitchen. Her bleached blond hair was piled high on her head with a red bandana. She was most likely in her late thirties, but her figure could have been that of a twenty-six year old. She couldn`t help but notice Daryl`s soiled condition. "What are you dragging into the house now, Whit?"

     "This is Daryl, Dez. He`s Merle`s brother. I`m taking him upstairs to get cleaned up."

     "I certainly hope so." She placed her hands on her hips and appraised this new acquaintance of her brother`s. She especially admired the muscular arms displayed from the sleeveless shirt.

     "Will you do his laundry?" Whitney asked.

     Desiree sighed. "Yeah." Even though she eyed Daryl up and down with admiration and appreciation he seemed to ignore her. It didn`t escape her that Daryl was eyeing Whitney with the same kind of admiration and appreciation. Daryl noticed that she saw him looking at Whitney and turned away. Whitney headed up the stairs two at a time.

     She leaned on the railing and stared directly at Daryl. "You`re broadcasting it so much they could hear you in the next county," she softly said.

     "Excuse me?"

     "You like boys. If you got any more clothes than what you got on, I`ll do those too." Daryl turned away from her. "Just stay away from Eustace. He hates fags."

     Daryl nodded understanding her completely. Trying to hide his looking over of men he thought attractive had been difficult for him.

     "Up here," Whitney said appearing at the top of the stairs. He stood there appraising Daryl and sighed, which was not lost on Daryl.

     "Your secret is safe with me," Desiree said, then went back into the kitchen.

     Daryl looked after her for a moment, then headed up the stairs. Whitney escorted him into his private bathroom and closed the door. Daryl took a long hot shower and was drying his hair and face when Whitney came back in the bathroom with a set of clothes. "Oh, sorry. Your clothes are in the laundry. I hope these fit."

     "Thanks," Daryl said. He noticed Whitney looking at his nude body with obvious approval.

     "Dez is in the kitchen whipping up something special for us. You can come down when you`re ready." He left, closing the door behind him. Daryl pondered the incident for a moment then continued to dry off.

      After he had dressed Daryl came down to the kitchen, the aroma of fried chicken greeting his nostrils. Desiree was busy preparing to boil some peeled potatoes. He noticed Whitney was setting the table that was next to the kitchen "Smells good."

      "Our chickens are the best. You look like you could use a decent meal," she said, the cigarette in her mouth bobbing up and down. She put the potatoes on the stove then turned over the pieces of chicken. "Have you been to town lately?"

      Daryl felt instantly relaxed and welcome, something he never had gotten from most of Merle`s contacts, much less their families. "No. Why?"

      Desiree got a beer out of the fridge, opened it, and set it down on the counter in front of him. "The oddest thing happened. Ole Mooney, a local down-and-out, said he found this woman just wandering around making these odd noises. When he got closer she practically attacked him, wanting to bite him. He banged her over the head with a cast iron skillet just in time."

      Daryl watched as Whitney went over to the cupboard to set out some plates. "He killed her just like that," Whitney said.

      "Ole Mooney claimed she was already dead. How he knew?" Desiree shrugged. "Of course, it could just be some bullshit story he`s making up with all the meth floating around, but Ole Mooney isn`t into meth." She shoved a pack of Morley`s cigarettes in Daryl`s direction and indicated for him to take some. He did and lit one up.

      "Merle and I saw some news report about a weird attack in Jenkinsburg. We thought it was some nut," Daryl said taking an appreciative sip of the beer.

      "That could be it, too. You should be careful out there," Whitney said. His and Daryl`s eyes briefly met before Daryl looked away.

      "You seem pretty nice compared to your brother. I remember Merle hitting on me in a bar once," Desiree said.

      "Merle never knows when to quit," Daryl said. Whitney had finished his task and sat down beside Daryl. "Thanks for lettin` me clean up."

      "Sorry I busted in on you like that." He glanced at Desiree who was giving him a knowing look and shaking her head. "You need a place to sleep? Merle and Eustace will be out in the barn all night."

      "There`s a spare room next to Whitney`s," Desiree said. "It`s yours for however long you`ll need it."

      Daryl wasn`t used to anyone ever offering him any food or a place to sleep. Usually he ended up sleeping in the pickup they drove around in or on the ground in a tent. He quietly nodded.

      "Good," Whitney said. He got up and lightly brushed against Daryl on his way over to the fridge.

                                                                                                                               *****

      Daryl had slept all night and into part of the morning. It was good to sleep some place where he didn`t have to fight off bugs and snakes all the time. Desiree fixed him a late breakfast of sausage biscuits and gravy, his favorite, which he chowed down with enthusiasm.

     "You act like nobody ever feeds you," she commented as she poured him a glass of orange juice.

     "Not like this."

     "I talked to my friend Rita and she said Merle was the mean one and you`re the sweet one. She just had that baby boy so she`s got nothin` to do but sit and gab anyway."

     Whitney entered the kitchen carrying a hunting rifle. "Eustace and Merle are still out in the barn. I guess they`re gonna cook up some more meth and Merle said he`ll help him sell it over the next week."

      "Shit. Guess that leaves me on my own," Daryl said, sighing.

      Desiree patted his hand. "You stay here with us. Let those two get into all the trouble."

      Daryl laughed slightly. "That ain`t nothin` new to Merle."

      "Want to go hunting? I heard you`re really good with that crossbow," Whitney said. "There`s a deer I`ve been trying to get for the past two weeks. A buck, seven points."

      Daryl liked the invitation and actually looked forward to getting to know Whitney better. "Got nothin` else to do."

                                                                                                                               *****

      Whitney and Daryl sat in the duck blind mostly to keep out of the heat. Even though it wasn`t deer hunting season they were on Whitney`s family property so there was an exception to the rule.

      "The stream runs into the pond right? So Ole Mooney goes chasin` that damn fish all the way down the stream, trippin` on a bunch of rocks, gettin` all this mud on him and then he dives head first into the pond. Can`t see a damn thing, it`s so dirty. He comes up lookin` like the creature in _ **Swamp Thing**_ with all this moss and river weeds hangin` all over him," Whitney said laughing. This even caused Daryl to emit a short laugh and smile slightly. Whitney felt his heart skip a beat. He had been attracted to Daryl ever since he first laid eyes on him. He peered out of the peephole. "I don`t think that deer is gonna show up today. He hangs around here all the time."

      "Too hot to go lookin` for him."

      "Hell, most of the time I just hang out here to hang out here. It`s cool and keeps out all this heat. It`s a good place for private things, like dilly dallying with the willy, know what I mean?"

      "Yeah." Daryl sighed. He understood more about that sort of activity all too well, except for the occasional blow job. He was feeling a stronger attraction towards Whitney than he had to anyone in many years. He scooted next to Whitney so he could peer out the peephole. "I don`t get with others much anymore."

      "Not worth it when someone`s always ready to beat you up." Whitney pulled up his shirt and indicated a long dark brown mark on his side. "My daddy did this to me with a hot poker. Said he was gonna burn the sin from me." He showed Daryl other similar marks along the top of his back and on his stomach. "I noticed the marks on your body when I accidentally walked in on you. Your daddy do that to you?"

      "Yeah, for a lot of things. He was a mean drunk. He was a mean sober, too."

      Whitney was silent for a long time. "God I hate being like I am in a place like this. It`s a lonely life."

      Daryl met his wide-eyed gaze. "Yeah, I know." Since Whitney had shown him his scars he felt an immediate connection to him.

      Whitney smiled. "We don`t have to be lonely. For a while anyway." He set the rifle aside. "We can just make out for now."

      Daryl hesitated for a moment then nodded. With Whitney he felt like he didn`t have to hide anything, both having fathers that abused them. Daryl couldn`t deny he was attracted to Whitney, but he wasn`t sure if he was ready for a long term relationship. Perhaps just for the sex was the way to go. He had denied himself that for longer than he wanted to admit. They soon had their arms around each other, their lips and hands eagerly touching and exploring.

                                                                                                                                *****

      "You go huntin` with Whitney, but you don`t shoot nothin`. Maybe you`re losin` your eyesight," Merle said to Daryl that next day as he waited for Eustace by the pickup. He had his suspicions about his younger brother, but kept them to himself for now. Merle reached into his pocket and tossed Daryl a set of keys. "You might as well use the bike to get around."

      "What do I do if you get caught?" Daryl asked. "They`ll come around askin` me all kinds of questions like they usually do."

      "Give them the same answers you always do. Deny and deny some more, little brother. You`re so sweet they`d believe you if the sky was fallin`." He paused and studied his brother. "I noticed you and Whitney are becomin` kind of close, friendly-like."

      "Yeah. So."

      "Just watch yourself is all I`m sayin`." Merle didn`t approve of his brother liking men, and didn`t quite understand it, however, in some ways he had grown to accept it. He cared for Daryl the most out of anyone in the world. "You do know what I mean." He only wanted Daryl to stay out of trouble, remembering how bad it could get in his younger days.

      Daryl knew exactly what Merle meant, but he wasn`t about to admit anything to him. "We ain`t gettin` close." He knew how his brother felt.

      "Eustace told me about Whitney." He pointed a finger at him. "Don`t lie to me, Daryl." Merle noticed Eustace emerge from the barn. "Just remember I`ll be out there gettin` us some money with this stuff."

      "You never give any to me, you keep it all."

      Merle laughed. "That`s just too damn bad." Eustace came up to them. "This brother of mine is a sorry shit at times, did you know that, Eustace?"

      "Most little brothers are," Eustace said. He noticed Daryl staring at him with a long steady unwavering gaze of anger mixed with hatred. "Yours sure thinks he wants to take me on."

      Merle looked at Daryl. He knew Daryl hated his drug contacts. "I don`t know. You`re bigger than he is. But he is tough."

      "Yeah, I see that, too. You know, I don`t like the way he`s lookin` at me." Eustace moved closer to Daryl. "Hey, Daryl, you want to take me on?"

      Whitney and Desiree had come out on the porch to watch the spectacle.

      "Shit, there he goes throwin` his bullshit around again. He always needs someone to pick on," Desiree said. "Eustace, you leave him alone!"

      "I ain`t gonna leave him alone, not after the way he keeps lookin` at me." Eustace suddenly grabbed Daryl and threw him hard against the metal light pole. Daryl`s left shoulder hit it full on and he slumped to the ground in pain. "Bye. Come on, Merle."

      Merle just stood there and stared at Daryl. "You gotta be prepared, dummy. Be back in a week." He got inside the truck and they were soon gone.

      Whitney and Desiree hurried over to Daryl. "I think he`s hurt," Whitney said. "Can you get up?"

      Daryl tried but he cried out in pain when he tried to support himself with the injured shoulder.

      Desiree gently felt it. "It`s dislocated. Damn that Eustace. Let`s get him inside. Careful now." The two of them carefully lifted Daryl to his feet and took him inside, sitting him down on one of the kitchen chairs.

      "Dez volunteers as a nurse at the free clinic," Whitney said. "Can you fix him up?"

      "If you help me." She looked at Daryl. "This is gonna hurt."

      "Already does," Daryl said between strained breaths.

      "We get it back in place, it`ll stop. Whit, you hold him down. On three. One. Two--." She jerked hard on Daryl`s shoulder. He gave out a slight moan of pain. "Three. Better?"

      "Yeah." The pain had gone down to a dull ache. He moved it around slightly.

      "Don`t do too much of that. Give it a couple days. Whit, go get the ice pack in the freezer. We need to keep the swellin` down." Whitney left. "We`ll take care of you, don`t you worry about a thing."

                                                                                                                               *****

       After taking a couple of Merle`s painkillers, Daryl dozed in the bed of the guest room, the ice pack on his injured shoulder. Whitney came in with a tray of food. "Feel up to eatin` somethin`?"

      Daryl used his good arm to sit up. "Yeah."

      "Eustace is such an ass," Whitney said as he scooted over a TV tray beside the bed. "Why didn`t Merle come to your defense?"

      "Because he`s an ass, too," Daryl replied. "I wasn`t prepared for what your brother was gonna do."

      "Eustace has thrown me around a couple times. He once took his foot and ground my face into the gravel driveway. See these marks?" Whitney indicated some pock marks on his face. "Those are some scars. He was high on meth when he did it. He probably had taken some when he threw you against the pole." He adjusted Daryl`s pillows. "When you feel better want to go out to the duck blind again?"

      "Sure."

      "I enjoyed our make-out session. I think Dez knows that`s what we were really doin` out there. Of course, the hickey you gave me might be a dead giveaway," Whitney said grinning.

      "Your sister don`t mind?" Daryl asked taking a few bites and accepting Whitney`s offer of a cigarette.

      "No. She doesn`t judge like Eustace does. Merle`s the same way isn`t he?"

      "He beats up anyone who`s a fag. He hasn`t me, though. He says it`s because I`m his brother."

      Whitney nodded in understanding. Daryl ate and smoked just wanting to enjoy Whitney`s silent company.

                                                                                                                               *****

      Daryl was up and around the next day, no swelling in his shoulder and he was able to move it around more. Desiree told him that it would take at least three weeks to completely heal. When Whitney told her they were going out to the duck blind she handed him a blanket.

      "What`s that for?" he asked

      "In case you need it. Why don`t you take one of the sleepin` bags. Better than the hard ground."

      Whitney went over to the closet and grabbed one. Whitney with his rifle and Daryl with his crossbow, the two were out the door. At least they could keep up the pretense of hunting.

      As soon as they were in the duck blind they spread the sleeping bag flat on the ground and put the blanket on top of it. They both removed their shirts due to the heat and started out by kissing and necking. Daryl knew he had been hungry for sex like what he and Whitney were about to engage in. Since both understood the abuse they had gone through, both felt comfortable getting close in such a short time. Maybe it was just for the sex, without any deep feelings, a need that was to be fulfilled, a diversion from any real love, but at least mutual respect. After they had finished the session they both lay naked with their arms around each other, softly kissing and necking. Suddenly they heard a sound coming from outside the blind.

      "Oh shit. What a time for that deer to show up," Whitney said laughing. He peeked out of the peephole but did not see the deer. "What the hell is Ole Mooney doin` out here?"

      "What?" Daryl sat up and took a look. They both watched as Ole Mooney seemed to be staggering along making some sort of unidentifiable growling noise. "Is he drunk?"

      "I don`t know."

      They both spoke in low voices so as not to betray their presence. They watched as Ole Mooney continued on his course and went into the woods. "He looked like one of them things I saw on the news," Daryl said.

      "I heard somethin` the other day about a weird disease. It`s spreadin`." They both lay back down. Whitney snaked his arm around Daryl. "This is nice. We still have the rest of this week."

      "Our love nest is a duck blind. We should at least shoot a couple birds."

      They both laughed.

                                                                                                                               *****

      The doors of a pickup truck slammed shut, then there were boot steps. The familiar squeak of the front screen door and Eustace came into the house. "We`re back," he called out.

      Desiree emerged from the laundry room. "Has it been a week already?"

      "You see my brother?" Merle asked.

      "He and Whitney went out huntin`," Desiree replied.

      "They`re probably at the duck blind. Whit`s been trying to get this buck for the past couple weeks," Eustace said. "I`m goin` upstairs to take a piss."

      "Where`s the duck blind?" Merle asked. "We need to be on our way."

      Desiree hesitated before she spoke, but she knew she didn`t have a choice. "Just follow the dirt path from the barn. It`s over by the trees. You can`t miss it."

      Merle nodded his thanks and headed out the door. Desiree closed her eyes with sorrow at what was about to happen.

      Merle easily found the path she had described and ten minutes later found the duck blind right where she said it was. He bent down and opened the flap. Daryl and Whitney were both naked and engaged in heavy lovemaking. In that moment Merle realized Daryl had been lying to him about getting too close to Whitney.

     "If this doesn`t look like the back end of a cheap whore," he said more with disgust than anger.

     Daryl and Whitney separated. "Merle. What are you doin` here?" Daryl asked slightly dazed.

     "Get out of there and get dressed, Darylina. We need to get goin`." Merle threw the flap down and went back to the house.

     "Daryl, I`m sorry," Whitney said.

     "Don`t worry about it." Daryl grabbed his pants. After he put them on he kissed Whitney long and hard. "I gotta go."

     "Are you in trouble?"

     "Yeah, but nothin` I can`t handle." He put on the rest of his clothes and shoes then scooted towards the flap.

     Whitney stopped him. "You will find love someday, Daryl. Promise me you`ll try."

     Daryl nodded, not really willing to promise anything. He headed down the path and in ten minutes arrived at he house. He went inside passing by everyone and went directly to the guest room where he grabbed his bag and crossbow, then went downstairs. Eustace had gone out to the barn, but Desiree was still there. He set his stuff down and directly faced Merle. She watched as Merle came over and smacked Daryl hard knocking him down over the back of the sofa.

     "You and your damn little lyin` ass." Merle took his foot and flipped Daryl over with a hard kick. He then knelt down beside him and grabbed the front of his shirt. "What gave you the idea I didn`t figure it out?"

      Daryl spat out some blood that was in his mouth. "Screw you!" With his knee he shoved Merle back.

     "Yeah, get pissed off, Darylina."

     Daryl got up, picked up his gear, and left slamming the screen door behind him. Merle quickly followed him until they were both in the yard. "Leave me the hell alone, Merle!"

     "I knew you were screwin` him behind my back. All this after you told me you gave it all up."

     "I gave a lot up, Merle." Daryl was near tears. "Whitney just happened. It`s none of your damn business." He headed in the direction of he woods. "I`m goin` it alone from now on."

     "You come back here, little brother. I ain`t done talkin` to you." When Daryl continued on his way Merle ran towards him and grabbed him.

     "Let go of me!"

     Merle whirled him around until they were face to face. "Now you listen to me. No more lyin`. No more sneakin` behind my back."

     "Fuck you."

     Merle laughed. "Try again, baby brother. I`ll kick your ass from here to the Atlantic Ocean. Go ahead and sleep with the boys. Just don`t lie to me about it."

     "So you can beat the shit out of me?"

     "No." Merle let go of him. In that moment Merle briefly felt sorry for him, but the feeling quickly passed. "Come on now. Get your shit together." He pointed at Daryl`s head. "Let`s get out of here and find somethin` to eat in town."

      Daryl hesitated for a moment then nodded. He saw Whitney standing by the barn and watching the entire scene. He blew Daryl a kiss. Daryl waved back a slight smile on his face. Even though it had been brief, he felt good about it. He would never see Whitney again.

                                                                                                                                *****

      Soon afterwards the world began to change so that all Merle and Daryl Dixon had on their minds was survival. The world had moved towards madness and insanity in ways that no one could ever have anticipated. Whatever feelings Daryl had had in the before he shoved to the back of his mind. That would have to be his prime motivation. His world could no longer be what it was as long as the shit would remain unsettled. But hidden deep in the recesses of his sub-conscience were Whitney`s words about finding love. He believed that now to be impossible since the population had been significantly reduced to its bare minimum. All of his energies and thoughts would have to be concentrated on surviving and fighting, often both going on at the same time. There would be no time for love. No time for lovemaking. Perhaps it wouldn`t be that hard since he had kept more towards asexuality until Whitney came along and they had their week-long affair. It had only been there to fulfill a need, a need that could no longer exist because he wanted to stay alive and had to do whatever he needed to do to remain that way. If love came his way, he would be reluctant to trust it for many reasons. Daryl could no longer afford to get hurt because pain was all that was left, from the before as well as the now. He doubted that anyone who came along would ever change that line of thinking. He couldn`t afford to let anyone in anymore.

      Until he met a man named Rick Grimes, who would over time call him his brother. Daryl had a family again, all wanting to survive. There were those in that family that found love. Daryl never believed he ever would. But certain things happen that can change a man`s mind, even one as stubborn and resolute as Daryl Dixon`s.

                                                                                                *****                                *****                               *****

      Paul 'Jesus' Rovia bowed to the younger students as he finished presenting the black belts they had worked so hard to earn. He held his arms high to each side then went into a stance to challenge one of the students. The student came forward accepting the challenge for the demonstration of his skills. After five minutes of fast moving karate action, the student was defeated. They bowed to each other as the crowd roared with cheers and applause. Jesus then bowed to the older masters, who in turn bowed to him. The ceremony was finally over and everyone left to join friends and family to celebrate.

      A red-headed man yelled and came running up to Jesus. They kissed then hugged tightly. "That demonstration you gave tonight--wow!"

      "The test is in keeping up the 'wow' factor over time," Jesus said. "From student to instructor. Never thought I`d see the day." He undid the tie that bound his hair in a bun. "It`s great to know this misfit can achieve something wonderful in life." Jesus looked at his watch. "And, my love, I`m afraid our little celebration will have to end here. I`m on graveyard shift at Sibley again."

      "I thought you got the night off."

      "I did, until Marcia took sick. I need to go change. I don`t think showing up in a karate outfit at a hospital is a good idea." They both laughed and kissed again. "I`ll see you in the morning." In a way Jesus was glad he was going to work. Jeremy was starting to get a bit close in the relationship and that made him uncomfortable. Jesus was more or less in it for the sex and the fact he needed a roommate to help with the rent and bills.

     "Don`t you worry. We`ll celebrate. I have it all planned out."

     "Jeremy, no surprises. You know how I hate them."

     "Just you and me. I`ll even put on that red sequinned Vanna White dress," Jeremy said licking his lips.

     "Be still my beating heart," Jesus said lightly. They embraced tightly, kissed and then Jesus headed towards the locker room.

                                                                                                                               *****

     "Her husband said she had a fever."

     Jesus was looking over the assignment sheet for that evening. He now wore scrubs, his hair in a cap and his beard in a cover. The nurses at the front desk could never keep their mouths shut about anyone. Tonight it was the nurse`s assistant Marcia`s turn to be talked about behind her back.

     "Do you want me to look in on Mr. Boyd?" Jesus asked looking up.

     "You might as well. He seemed sicker this evening than he was this morning."

     "There`s sure a lot of something going around," the other desk nurse said. They now ignored Jesus as he left to check on Albert Boyd.

     The room was on the next floor up, reserved for older patients. Jesus liked Mr. Boyd because he was full of stories of his service during World War II. Jesus was the only one who seemed to want to hang around and listen to his stories. He sometimes heard the other medical staff making fun of the elderly patients and that really irked him. He came into Mr. Boyd`s room and checked to make sure all of the tubes were connected and the IV bag was full. Beside the bed was a framed set of medals that Mr. Boyd had won in the war. One was a Purple Heart, a medal he was most proud of and most melancholy about at the same time. Suddenly the man stirred awake and opened his eyes. Jesus bent over him.

      "Mr. Boyd? How are you feeling?"

      "Is that you, Paul?"

      "It`s me." Jesus held onto his hand. "Having trouble sleeping?"

      "I`m an old man. I don`t sleep much anymore." His shaky arthritic hand pointed to the drawer in the bed stand. "In that drawer is a wooden box. Would you get it out for me?"

      Jesus did so. It was an old antique box about fifteen inches long, six inches wide, and six inches deep. It had been well taken care of. "Do you want it?"

      "Yes, but the nurse won`t let me have it here in the hospital. They want me to lock it up. I don`t want to lock it in their damn safe. Would you take it home with you and keep it for me, Paul?"

      "I`d be glad to. May I ask what it is?"

      Mr. Boyd smiled. "I got those in Japan, right after the surrender. I was assigned to help with the occupation. They were given to me my some old Japanese fella in gratitude for not knocking his house down. " Mr. Boyd laughed. "Go ahead. Open it."

      Jesus set the box on the tray table and carefully opened it. Inside was a matching set of two wonderfully crafted knives, the like of which he had never seen before. "These are beautiful." He took one out and examined it.

      "I`ve taken good care of them over the years. No rust, as sharp as the day I got them. You told me once that you liked knives so I can trust you to take care of them for me."

      "I will, Mr. Boyd."

      Mr. Boyd went into a coughing fit and Jesus assisted him until he quit. "As long as I know they are in good hands. I`ll rest easy. Put them in the vault, they`d get stolen for sure."

      "I`ll put them in my locker and take them home when my shift is over," Jesus assured.

      Mr. Boyd nodded and seemed to relax a bit. "There`s something else I want you to do for me."

      "Anything. All you have to do is ask."

      "I want to see what you really look like without all that get-up on. I`m one of those people who likes to see the true color of his friends."

      Jesus laughed. "I guess I can do that. I`ll have to put the covers back on, though." He first took off his cap and undid his ponytail. He shook his head to fluff out his long silky hair. Then he removed the beard cover. He heard a gasp of astonishment from Mr. Boyd.

      "You know who you look like?"

      "I`m afraid I do," Jesus said laughing.

      "Aragorn in  **The Lord of the Rings** movies."

      This made Jesus laugh even harder. "Well, I`m flattered that you think that. I was thinking of someone else."

      Albert Boyd grinned. "You look like Him too. I`ve heard the other staff call you by your nickname."

      Jesus redid his hair and put the covers back on. "I hope you`re not offended."

     "Nah, the look fits you. I`ll be meeting the real one soon anyway." He seemed to slump in the bed. "Now I`m all wore out. Guess I better get back to sleep." He laid back on his pillow and closed his eyes. Jesus made him as comfortable as possible before he left the room to put the knives in his locker.*

                                                                                                                               *****

      "Do you know what this meeting is all about?" Zoey, one of the other nurse`s assistants, asked Jesus as they walked down the hallway of the hospital that next day.

      Jesus smirked. "Probably just another boring lecture on how we need to be tighter on the budget." He tucked his cap and beard cover into his pocket. His long hair had already been put in a ponytail. He hated wearing the stuff, but it was part of his job description so he had no real right to complain. When they entered the conference room Jesus was somewhat surprised to see that the chief administrator was in the room as well as some of the top doctors.

      "Must be something big if they`re here," Zoey said.

      "Maybe it won`t be so boring after all." He indicated a couple of empty chairs and they sat down.

      Moments later the meeting was called to order and the chief administrator took to the podium. "This is to inform the staff that there has been an alert issued to all medical personnel from the CDC in Atlanta. A new disease is starting to emerge in the population. We aren`t certain how widespread it is at this point. All we know is that it is one of the oddest diseases we will have to be dealing with. Dr. Kirkpatrick?"

      A tall grey-haired man took his place at the podium. "It starts out as a high fever. The CDC knows little about its origins. No bacteria can be detected, there is uncertainty that it is a virus. It may even be a fungus or some kind of mutation. All we really know is that when people die they reanimate." There was a murmur in the room. He calmed everyone down. "I know that sounds impossible, but those are the facts. It has been discovered that a serious injury to the brain kills the reanimated corpses. As soon as someone dies, this action must be taken if reanimation is not to occur."

      The meeting went on for another hour as questions were asked, but few answers were given.

      "I don`t know if I could do that or not," Zoey said to Jesus after the meeting was adjourned. "I just can`t kill someone. What if they really have come back to life?"

      "You heard what Kirkpatrick said. There doesn`t seem to be any cognitive brain function. How could they be alive?"

      "Jesus, I`m scared. Hearing all of this makes me want to go home to my family."

      He reassured her with a squeeze on her arm. "We`ll get through this. Hell, we`ve been through gunshots in gang wars, drug overdoses, serious burns over most of the body--I`ve worked EMERGENCY so many times I`ve become used to a lot of strange things." He put his hair up in the cap and covered his beard. "Let`s just get to work." Zoey headed down the hall towards the nurse`s desk and he stopped at the elevator to go check on Mr. Boyd.

                                                                                                                               *****

      "He went downhill during the day and we`ve had to put him on life support," the nurse told Jesus as they stood beside Mr. Boyd`s bed. The sorrow on his face was apparent. "I know you talked with him a lot."

      Jesus nodded. "I enjoyed his stories about World War II. Not all of them were bad, either. His most inspirational one was when he was wounded at Guadalcanal. That`s where he received his Purple Heart." Jesus picked up the framed plaque with the medals. "He was an orphan, like me. He never had any children. Does he have other family?"

      "If he does, they don`t care. He`s a VA case, so he`s not a wealthy man. I want you to stay with him and keep and eye on the monitors. He may become conscious."

      Jesus nodded. He was more than happy to stay with him even though the circumstances weren`t happy at all.

                                                                                                                              *****

      Jesus must have been dozing in the chair when one of the alarms went off on Mr. Boyd`s monitors. It was the one for the respirator. He pressed the emergency button and Dr. Kirkpatrick, Zoey, and a couple nurses rushed into the room.

      "He`s going down fast," Dr. Kirkpatrick said. Moments later the heart monitor stopped and became a straight line. "He`s gone." He nodded for the attachments to the equipment to be removed. As soon as it was done he pulled the sheet over Mr. Boyd`s head. "Time of death, 2:43 a.m. I`ll be in my office filling out the death certificate." He left the room.

      Jesus could only stand there as an overwhelming sadness seemed to envelop him. Deep inside it was as if one of his best friends in the whole world was suddenly gone. He picked up the framed set of medals, thinking of all the things Mr. Boyd had to do to earn them.

     Zoey came up beside him. "I really liked Mr. Boyd. I just don`t understand why no one would want to care for such a man."

     "That is the world today, Zoey. If you are anyone different, anyone who is an outsider of any kind--you simply don`t belong with those that think themselves as 'normal'." He set the framed medals down. "Let`s get this equipment put away."

      Zoey wheeled out a couple of the monitors into the hallway as Jesus sorted out the unused medical tools on the tray and prepared the used ones for sterilization. The long nose scissors had been used to cut some bandages and they were in his hand when he thought he saw a movement beneath the sheet covering Mr. Boyd. Could it have been his imagination? Zoey came back into the room to get more of the monitors. She screamed when she saw Mr. Boyd suddenly sit up, the sheet falling down and Mr. Boyd moving his head back and forth, his jaw going up and down, making a raspy gargling noise. A nurse and Dr. Kirkpatrick ran into the room.

      "Who screamed?" Dr. Kirkpatrick asked.

      "He`s still alive You were wrong, doctor," Zoey said moving towards Mr. Boyd.

      "No, don`t," Jesus said and stepped in between her and Mr. Boyd. He quickly plunged the long nose scissors into Mr. Boyd`s head. He fell back down on the bed. "Look at his eyes."

      Dr. Kirkpatrick came over and examined the corpse. "It`s the new disease alright. Quick thinking, orderly." He recovered the body." We`re going to have to take epidemic precautions from now on."

                                                                                                                                *****

      That following morning Jesus felt like he had been running a marathon when he got home to his small apartment that he shared with Jeremy, who was fast asleep on the sofa. He woke up when he heard Jesus in the kitchen making coffee and flick the lighter for the cigarette in his mouth.

      "You look really tired. Rough night?"

      "You could say that," Jesus said. "Mr. Boyd died."

      "I`m sorry to hear that." He got up and put his arms around Jesus. "Why don`t you go to bed. I`ll make you some breakfast."

      Jesus nodded and they exchanged a quick kiss. When he reached the bedroom he couldn`t get out of his scrubs fast enough. It was then he remembered the knives. After bringing them home he had placed the box in a dresser drawer. He now had the box open and was examining them. The velvet was loose on one side and when he removed it he found two leather belts with sheaths. They looked like they had been recently handmade just to hold the knives. He removed the knives and slipped them into the sheaths. It was a perfect fit.

      Since no one knew about the knives and there were no claims from anyone else, the knives now belonged to Paul 'Jesus' Rovia.

                                                                                                                                *****

      The fall of the world came quickly after Jesus`s first experience in the hospital. Everything became chaos and even though he had been ordered to remain behind, Jesus decided that was the wrong thing to do. He left as soon as no one was looking and he and Jeremy eventually wound up in a refugee camp set up by the military. Even the camp became too much for the military to handle. Jeremy, in his ignorance and stupidity, had been killed by a group of the reanimated dead so Jesus was pretty much on his own, fighting off both the living and the dead, surviving by his wits, until he met a man named Gregory. Gregory had become the leader of a small band of survivors that had set up some FEMA trailers around a red brick building called Barrington House which had been an historical museum. Soon the Hilltop Colony was formed and thrived. The new world also brought new enemies. Negan and the Saviors. But this only made Jesus bolder and more confident. The world as it was now gave him a feeling of some worth; something he never would have found in the world of the before. He had the occasional boyfriend to satisfy his sexual needs, but overall he felt unsatisfied. Never getting close to anyone, not even his steady boyfriends, it was something he didn`t even want to try. Being an orphan and having to live in a group home had made him cautious and distrustful of people. The sense of really belonging anywhere or with anyone still eluded him.

      Until he met a woman named Maggie Rhee. She was the first person strong enough to take on a cowardly Gregory and help form a stronger Hilltop, rising from the ashes of Negan`s wrath. The death of her husband Glenn was a promise to him that she would succeed and bring their baby into a world where people had the chance to become whole again. Jesus wanted to open his heart and learn to love. What would begin on the day he encountered two men and a truck on a supply run would change his life forever. One of those men was an obvious outsider. In that man Jesus felt he had met his match, in more ways than he could ever imagine.

                                                                                                            *****                    *****                    *****

**The Present**

       _"How is he?" Maggie asked that evening as Jesus sorted through some of his clothes in the trailer. He had just returned from his excursion to The Sanctuary. Helping Daryl Dixon escape had been an unexpected bonus and he was glad of the chance to help._

_"Right now he`s running on nervous energy. The escape was pretty brutal," Jesus replied. "Do you think this shirt will fit him?" He held up a black shirt with one of the pockets missing._

_"I think so. I`m glad he`s out of there. He needs sleep more than anything."_

_"He`ll spend the night in my trailer. He`ll feel better tomorrow. I never realized how much his emotions ruled his demeanor. Of course, I can`t blame him for being so angry." The memory of what Daryl did to kill Fat Joey was still fresh in his mind. Jesus wondered if he wouldn`t have done the same thing under the same circumstances. He draped the shirt over his arm then picked up a pair of pants, some shoes, and socks. "He should be finished cleaning up by now." Jesus left the trailer and headed over to an area where an outdoor washroom of sorts had been set up. It was great for summer, however winter proved to be a challenge. Gregory had insisted that Daryl not come into Barrington House. When Jesus rounded the corner he noticed Daryl was just drying off. That was when he was taken aback by what he saw on Daryl`s torso, horrible brown scars, especially on his back. They looked old, not anything the Saviors could have done. "I found some clothes for you. I hope they fit."_

_Daryl turned to look at him. "Thanks."_

_"I`ll just wait outside." Jesus left and sat on a bench that was just outside of the facilities. He couldn`t get the image of the scars on Daryl out of his mind. Moments later Daryl emerged now fully dressed. They headed back to his trailer and as soon as Daryl laid own on the blankets that Jesus had put down for him on the floor he was asleep._

_Daryl was still in silent mode that next morning when he woke up so Jesus just concentrated on getting him something to eat. "Hungry?"_

_"Yeah." Jesus led Daryl over to a picnic table and had him sit down. Jesus left to get some food, returning moments later with a tray laden with fruit, vegetables, some bread, and fried chicken. Daryl immediately dug into it._

_"You want to lie down for a while when you finish?" Jesus had heard that part of the torture of prisoners at The Sanctuary was sleep deprivation and Daryl still looked like he needed more._

_"Nah, I`m good."  Daryl looked up briefly meeting Jesus`s gaze. He found comfort looking into the kind concerning eyes of his helpful companion._

_"Let me know if you need anything."_

_Daryl nodded. "How did you wind up in The Sanctuary?"_

_"Sasha sent me to look it over." He watched as Daryl eagerly ate the food. He wondered what they fed him, then maybe he didn`t want to know. The brutal killing of Fat Joey had shown Jesus that there was a lot of anger still harboring inside of Daryl. He also realized there probably had been a lot of things Daryl hadn`t processed yet._

_"I just hope Carl is alright." Daryl finished his meal in silence. They looked up when they heard Maggie call for Sasha and Enid. It proved to be the beginning of the end of Negan`s hold. Rick was ready to fight and had come to Hilltop to let Maggie know. When Jesus watched Rick and Daryl embrace, holding onto each other so tight for almost a minute, he knew he had done the right thing. He wanted to become part of what Rick had to offer._

_*****                           *****_

_Inside The Kingdom Daryl turned away from the closed gates, a mix of emotions running through him, feeling more left behind than he had ever been in his life. He wanted to be out there with Rick, but he also knew Rick was right and taking advantage of King Ezekiel`s offer of asylum might be the right move for the moment. Daryl was also angry, sad, frustrated, and felt somewhat dejected; all of his emotions feeling like a tornado was twisting through his head. He felt the weariness take over, the nervous energy he had been going on was running out of steam._

_"Are you Daryl?" a young voice asked from behind him.  
_

_"Yeah," Daryl said turning around. The teenage boy he had seen earlier in King Ezekiel`s chamber now stood beside him._

_"I`m Benjamin. I`m supposed to show you to your room." Daryl only shrugged and followed him. He was led to one of the rooms in the barracks. It was small with a single bed, simple but functional. "The beds are a bit stiff, but they`re comfortable."_

_"I`ve slept in worse places, mostly tents," Daryl said._

_"Well, I`ll let you get some rest. Just make yourself at home. The cafeteria is in the building right next door, there`s a washroom down the hall." Benjamin turned to leave. "Oh, you`ll want to be sure to close your door at night." He smiled awkwardly and left._

_Daryl wondered about that last statement. He understood the need for privacy, but why would the boy make a special mention of it? He headed down to the washroom to take care of his business then lay down on the bed. He was almost immediately asleep. The door was still open._

_*****_

_Night in The Kingdom was one of the best times of all. Everyone seemed to forget about their troubles and sleep was mostly the rule. Except for those creatures that preferred to wander during the night. There was one creature who just liked to wander, not so much for food, but because it was her instinct to creep through darkness listening to nocturnal whisperings. She was quiet and stealthy as she wandered through the hallways of the barracks, doors closed. Except one. Curious about what was inside the room, Shiva made no sound as she came up beside the sleeping person on the bed. One hand was almost touching the floor and she came up and sniffed it. Her nose slowly went up the arm and gently touched the muscular shoulder. Daryl stirred but didn`t awaken. Shiva then propped herself up and sniffed along Daryl`s body. She gently rested her head on Daryl`s back for a moment before putting all fours back on the ground. She liked what she sensed. Lightly licking his hand once she lingered for a moment longer before leaving the room._

_Daryl opened his eyes and sighed. He just had a disturbing dream about something checking him over, but the images were blurred. He looked around and saw nothing and no one. Getting up he checked the hallway and saw that nothing was afoot. There was the sound of something walking. His senses were also attuned to nocturnal noises. It sounded like an animal on foot. Perhaps it was just his imagination or the after effects from the dream. He then remembered what Benjamin had said about keeping the door closed._

_*****_

_The next morning Daryl found the cafeteria a busy place, but not a place that was crowded. He now stood in line with his tray and just listened to everyone talking. Mostly it was about the abundance of the crops, the cultural endeavors, and the physical training to keep in shape. He felt just as out of place at The Kingdom as he sometimes did in Alexandria. Morgan came up next to him and greeted him with a nod._

_"Did you sleep well last night?" Morgan asked as he prepared his tray._

_"Yeah. Quiet. Except for one thing. Probably a dream." Daryl paused uncertain how to describe it. "Like I was being looked over or someone checkin` me out. I got up and thought I heard an animal."_

_Morgan grinned. "You left your door open didn`t you."_

_"Yeah. So."_

_The line moved up. "Tigers are nocturnal in nature. You know how curious cats can be."_

_"He lets that tiger roam around at night?" Daryl asked, mild surprise in his voice._

_"Yeah. King Ezekiel tells me it helps keep her calm to let her express her nature. People here know that." It was now their turn to get some breakfast._

_"Special this morning. We slaughtered a pig and made some sausage," the woman serving it said. "Biscuits and gravy."_

_Both Morgan and Daryl immediately prepared their plates. Morgan looked at Daryl. "I guess a couple southern boys like us can`t resist. It`s your favorite, eh?" Morgan swore he saw Daryl smile slightly._

_After they sat down Daryl couldn`t get the thought out of his mind that he had been visited by a tiger during the night and still be alive to tell about it._

_*****                             *****_

_Daryl stood still, his crossbow at the ready. He let the bolt fly and it perfectly struck the bull`s-eye of the target that had been set up near the Hilltop blacksmith`s shelter. He adjusted the tension on the string and inserted another bolt. He had been reworking the bolts themselves, trimming the feathers just right, and replacing the original tips with something sharper made by the Hilltop blacksmith. He was preparing for war._

_He didn`t hear Jesus come up behind him as he held up the crossbow again. Jesus watched with avid fascination as Daryl shot the next bolt at the target, striking it exactly in the same place the first one had struck. Out of all the weapons he was familiar with, the crossbow was one he had never tried. He had shot a bow and arrow, but the weapon of choice that was Daryl Dixon`s was almost alien to him. Daryl walked over to the target to retrieve the bolts and when he turned to walk back that`s when he saw Jesus._

_"I didn`t want to disturb you," Jesus said. Daryl just shrugged. "I was told you were good with the crossbow. You`re better than good."_

_Daryl reloaded the crossbow and held it up. Above him a squirrel leaped through the trees and he aimed the weapon at it and let a bolt fly. The squirrel fell to the ground dead, the bolt through its body. He retrieved it, removed the bolt and handed the squirrel to Jesus. Jesus held it unsure what to do with it._

_"Ever shoot one?" Daryl asked._

_" A squirrel or a crossbow?" He set the squirrel on top of a nearby barrel._

_Daryl wasn`t sure if Jesus was being smart with him or not. "Why are you here anyway?"_

_"You know, I could ask the same question of you. You`d be safer at The Kingdom."_

_"There ain`t no place safe no more. You don`t know what the hell you`re talkin` about."_

_Jesus looked up and made a disbelieving laugh. "I don`t? Why are you avoiding my question?"_

_Daryl turned away from him. "Here is as good a place as any."_

_"What will Rick say when he finds you here?"_

_"What concern is it of yours?"_

_"Maybe none. To answer your question it`s just for something to do." Daryl was in one of his off-putting moods and Jesus felt their bickering would be pointless. "I`ll find someplace else to be bored." Jesus turned to leave._

_"All I did was ask you a simple question," Daryl said._

_Jesus stopped. "I asked you one, too. I`m not quite sure what you meant."_

_"A crossbow."_

_Jesus turned to face him. "No."_

_"Want to try it?"_

_Jesus sighed. "Okay." He came up to stand beside him. Daryl loaded the bolt into the crossbow and handed it to Jesus. "You hold it like this." He demonstrated how it was to be held. "You look through the sight at your target, pull the trigger. It has a bit of a kick. You`re ready."_

_Jesus held the weapon the same way he had seen Daryl do it and aimed it at the target. He pressed the trigger and the bolt flew hitting the edge of the target. "It`s so different from a gun."_

_"Takes a lot of practice. This is how you load it." He went behind Jesus and putting his arms around him showed him how to pull the string back and lock it. "You load the bolt in after you pull it back." He handed one to Jesus and let him load it. He then stepped aside and nodded._

_Jesus shot the bolt at the target and it got nearer to the center. He had always been someone to catch on fast when it came to weapons. "I like the feel of this weapon. I can see why you like it." He handed it back to Daryl._

_"It`s best advantage is that it`s quiet." Daryl set it aside and sat down on the tree stump that marked the small spot. It was the first time he really looked closely at Jesus "I never thanked you for helpin` me get out of The Sanctuary." Even though the memories were still fresh Daryl was ready to leave them behind. However, the anger at the Saviors and Negan would be fresh for a long time._

_"To be honest, it was chance that I found you escaping. I was leaving when I was on top of Negan`s truck, then I saw you. I just couldn`t leave you behind. I knew I should at least try to help you get out. If you were in your cell, I wouldn`t have found you."_

_"So it wasn`t you who left the note with the key?" A look of confusion was on Daryl`s face._

_Jesus shook his head. "Sounds like you had a friend on the inside." There was the distant sound of a summer thunderstorm starting to build. The wind started to kick up slightly. "You got a place to stay?"_

_"I`m okay. I`m used to sleepin` outdoors." He had been sleeping on the picnic table near the FEMA trailer that belonged to Jesus, which Maggie and Enid were now occupying._

_"So you can get rained on. How about something to eat?"_

_"I got a squirrel."_

_Jesus laughed and shook his head. "Why don`t you join Maggie, Enid, and me tonight? You`ll be my guest."_

_"Are you sure it`ll be alright with them?"_

_"Yes. You`re still family, Daryl." More and more Jesus had felt he was becoming part of that family. He and Maggie were more like brother and sister, especially since he had come out to her for being gay. From Maggie`s perspective, Daryl was the lost brother, who was gradually coming back home._

_*****_

_"We`ll need a fourth setting," Maggie said to Enid. "Jesus said he was bringing a guest."_

_"I should have made more stew," Enid said. "I think I`ll just have time to make some more. We do have enough biscuits. What about butter?"_

_"I got some fresh this morning,"  Maggie said. The door opened and she greeted Jesus and behind him was Daryl. "It`s about time Daryl Dixon." Apparently their talk in the cellar had had an effect on him._

_Daryl pointed to Jesus. "He invited me."_

_"I have a soft spot for the dejected and downhearted," Jesus said amusingly._

_There was a loud clap of thunder and rain started to pitter patter on the sides and roof of the trailer. Maggie motioned them in and just in time as the downpour started. "I hope you`re hungry. Enid has whipped up a stew." She pointed to where Daryl could set down his crossbow so it would be out of the way._

_Enid was quickly putting in some more vegetables in the stew pot. "It won`t be done for a while yet."_

_"That`s okay," Jesus said. "It`ll give us a chance to just sit and talk." He indicated for Daryl to sit down on the sofa, then he sat down beside him. "Stew smells wonderful. Definitely better than squirrel."_

_"Another squirrel?" Maggie asked looking at Daryl. "Have you ever thought of switching to skunk?"_

_"Skunk`s good meat," Daryl said. "Don`t knock it."_

_Jesus sat there quietly shaking with laughter._

_*****_

_"We can probably set up a cot for you in the storage trailer," Maggie said after they had finished eating. The thunderstorm was rocking the trailer back and forth. "No sense in you sleeping on a picnic table."_

_Daryl felt like he could not refuse her. After the visit from the Saviors and their talk while hiding in the cellar, he felt that in some way he had gained a sister. "Wasn`t that comfortable anyway." Maggie could tell he was starting to feel like his old self again, even though he still had a ways to go._

_Jesus was now sitting cross-legged on the bed, resting his back against the wall. His eyes, however, were on Daryl. As Enid was clearing up it was hard for her to not notice how he seemed to be admiring Daryl with more interest that just mere curiosity. A loud clap of thunder rattled everything that was loose. That was when the power went out. The light was dim from the darkening from the storm._

_"This must be the last of the thunderstorms," Enid said. "Winter`s going to be here soon."_

_"I used to keep track of the seasons like a hawk," Maggie said. "I`m still not used to winters in Virginia. We`d barely get a lot of snow in Georgia, except the occasional freak storm." She glanced at Daryl and noticed he had caught Jesus`s eye. "Don`t you think so, Daryl?"_

_"Huh?" he said breaking his gaze with Jesus._

_"The winters in Georgia aren`t all that cold. Freak storm," Maggie said._

_"Oh. Yeah." Daryl hadn`t heard her question at all. "Food was good."_

_"You can eat here for every meal," Maggie said confused as to why Daryl hadn`t been paying attention to their conversation. "If you hunt something we`ll be more than happy to prepare it."_

_"Sure." Daryl got up, grabbed his crossbow, and opened the door to leave. "Let`s get that cot set up in the storage trailer."  Jesus got up and left to help him._

_"You can take Daryl out of the wilderness, but you can`t take the wilderness out of Daryl," Maggie said, a puzzled look on her face. She looked at Enid and shrugged._

_"What was with him and Jesus?" Enid asked._

_"You noticed that, too. Well, you already know about Jesus." Enid nodded. "Would you be surprised that the same thing is true about Daryl?"  
_

_"I never paid that much attention. At times he seems so disinterested in anything or anyone."_

_"Maybe things are about to change. For both of them."_

_*****_

_When Jesus entered Barrington House to go to his room, Gregory came out of his office. "Jesus, I need to talk to you."_

_Jesus ignored him and went directly to his room. The power was still out as he laid down on the queen-sized bed. It was what had happened during their meal that bothered him. He and Daryl weren`t close friends, but they were friends. He knew what Daryl was the first time he laid eyes on him when he encountered him and Rick in the incident with the truck. Jesus had felt something stirring inside of him from that moment. Even though Daryl wasn`t as demonstrative, the looks they exchanged meant that the feeling was mutual. There was also something else that he was feeling that was somewhat alien to him. He had had boyfriends in the past, none that he really felt close to or even loved all that much for that matter. But this was something different. He had never really been able to get Daryl off of his mind. In the silent wee hours of the night or during the long hot summer days when there was a lull in activity, Jesus had found his mind wandering, sometimes to the point that he forgot he was at a place called Hilltop Colony. His mind was thinking of those moments he was being chased by Rick and Daryl, those moments in Alexandria, especially when they were in the church and Rick was telling them about Hilltop. He remembered that he and Daryl exchanged several long silent looks._

_Jesus wiped away the tears that were streaming down his face. How his heart seemed to ache in the lightning illuminated darkness. His heart ached, but his soul soared. He was falling in love with Daryl Dixon. Of that he had no doubt._

_*****_

_Daryl relaxed on the cot just listening to the storm. At least it wasn`t army-issue and had a pad. He had slept in the rain plenty of times, if a person could call it sleeping, but he had never enjoyed it. He only endured it. The sound of the rain made him sleepy, but his mind would not settle down. Certain mitigating circumstances had driven some thoughts out of his mind, but now they were coming back to haunt him. There were motivations he could not understand or he subscribed a different reason to in order to avoid a nagging feeling that he only wished to fight off. He had left The Kingdom and come back to Hilltop. Why? There was Glenn`s grave. Maggie was here, but she told him it wasn`t his fault that Negan had killed Glenn. It had all been on Negan. It would take a long time for him to process the fact that no one blamed him. He certainly blamed himself. He had become so accustomed to the thought he let any shit that flew in his direction just hit him. Sometimes the pain was too much to bear so he simply shut down. But there had to be another reason he wanted to stay at Hilltop. Was he thriving on the danger that was not present at The Kingdom?_

_That night`s meal in Maggie`s trailer was somewhat awkward for him, not because of Maggie, but because of Jesus. Before his imprisonment in The Sanctuary the thought of Jesus had been a distraction. He had felt that distraction again earlier that evening when he put his arms around Jesus to show him how to load the crossbow. The closeness of another man was stirring emotions he thought he had conquered. He also knew this man was attracted to him. What could he do now? What would he do? Deep inside he knew he had the same feelings of attraction. Even though it was a feeling quite alien to him, he did like it._

_*****                   *****                  *****_

**Chapter 1**

       Standing watch at the gate had become Maggie Rhee`s primary occupation throughout her pregnancy. Over and over she relived the victories in the battles they had had over the Saviors when together with Alexandria and The Kingdom, they hopefully had fought them back for the winter. The treacherous Gregory was still AWOL, and he most likely had gone to The Sanctuary, though Maggie couldn`t prove it one way or the other. The coming winter would slow things down considerably and everyone involved felt a pause to regroup would probably be needed anyway. A somewhat chilly breeze blew across the sentry posts and she huddled down even more in the sweatshirt she had borrowed from Jesus.

      "I don`t think Daryl should hang around here all the time," the all too annoyingly familiar voice said to her from the ground below, rudely breaking into her thoughts.

      Maggie turned around, a look of anger mixed with frustration on her face. "No one can ever stay here can they, Theo?" she asked challengingly. Theo was the resident gossip, complainer, and all-around people hater, constantly showing his fear mongering and insecurity. Everyone wondered if he was still loyal to Gregory.

      "Don`t be such a jackass."

      Theo turned around to find Jesus staring him down with his two wide pools of penetrating blue/green eyes. He pointed his finger at him. "He shouldn`t be here getting a free ride. He`s nothing but a stupid dirty redneck anyway." With that said Theo walked across the yard towards his trailer.

      "You better hope Daryl doesn`t hear you calling him that," Jesus shouted before Theo firmly closed the door. He also knew how homophobic Theo was and just like Gregory had threatened to turn him over to the Saviors even though he never took the threat seriously. Theo was just as afraid of the Saviors as anyone else, if not more so. Jesus was beginning to feel more at home with Rick and his group of survivors. "Doesn`t know when to quit does he," he said to Maggie.

       "Forget him." Maggie huddled in the sweatshirt feeling the coming winter more closely than usual as she saw Rick and Aaron walking up the road.

      "We won`t turn him out like some old dog that can`t hunt anymore." Was Theo more scared of the Saviors or of what Daryl Dixon could do?

      "Exactly," Maggie said.

      "I do get what Daryl is doing by staying here. He seems more at home here."

      "He`s never been one to enjoy staying in one place very long," Maggie said. "To encumber the freedom of someone as individual as Daryl Dixon is asking for trouble."

      Jesus emitted a knowing laugh. "I guess for some people that`s a trait to admire."

      "There are other reasons you want him to be here aren`t there?" Maggie asked as she huddled even more inside the sweatshirt. She could feel herself start to shiver.

      "Yes." He stood there deep in thought for what seemed like an eternity, but it was only for a few seconds. He looked up when the gates of Hilltop opened and Rick and Aaron were let inside. Maggie signaled for her relief to take over and she climbed down to join them.

      "Getting colder," Rick said. "We had a freeze overnight in Alexandria."

      "We felt it here, too," Maggie said as she and Aaron hugged. "You here for anything special?"

      "Not really. Just wanted to tag along," Aaron replied.

      "He`s keeping me company today," Rick said.

      They headed over to Jesus`s trailer where Daryl and Enid were engaged in a game of checkers.

      "Who`s winning?" Rick asked.

      "She cheats," Daryl said.

      "I do not," Enid protested.

      Daryl jumped a bunch of hers and his piece landed on her side. "King me."

      Enid sat there and sighed. "You cheat, too."

      Rick just laughed. Enid got up taking the checker board with her. She headed over to the hot plate to prepare some coffee.

      "Had any more trouble from the Saviors?" Maggie asked.

      "Not much. I think the colder it gets the more everyone just wants to stay inside, especially after the snow starts to fly. Which is why I think this is the perfect time to get done what I have in mind," Rick said.

      "Is this all about the idea of establishing supply depots?" Jesus asked as he sat down on the sofa.

      "I`ve already talked with King Ezekiel and he thinks it`s a good idea. He`s willing to contribute whatever supplies and weapons he can spare. Michonne suggested we use some of those army rations we found at the abandoned carnival. We`ll have to be real discreet about where we put them. I was thinking you and Daryl could handle that angle," Rick said.

      "I have an idea already in mind," Jesus said.

                                                                                                                                *****

      Aaron stayed behind to help with anything that needed to be done to prepare for the forthcoming mission. He was in the storage trailer with Maggie repacking the items stored in plastic storage containers into cardboard boxes. The plastic containers would be ideal for the depots since they were to be buried. Aaron glanced out the door and noticed that Daryl was helping instruct Jesus on shooting a crossbow. Every so often Daryl would come up behind Jesus and adjust his stance or how he held the crossbow.

      "I don`t believe it," he exclaimed.

      "Don`t believe what?" Maggie asked.

      "Do you ever watch those two very closely? It`s so obvious they flirt with each other."

      Maggie peered out the doorway and observed the scene. "I`m afraid I don`t see it."  Maggie also saw Theo watching them with disapproval and disdain. Jesus had already had more than one homophobic exchange with him. He had been warned about what he said about Daryl and she hoped his dirty redneck remarks would never be overheard, otherwise Theo was pretty harmless.

      "I guess it takes another gay man to notice. If Daryl was instructing you, me, or someone else here on how to use that thing, he would just growl at us. But he always finds some reason to put his arms around Jesus." Aaron took out some clothes and stacked them on top of another box.

      "You do know Jesus is gay, right?"

      Aaron laughed. "I knew that the first time I saw him. I also knew that about Daryl. He hides it well, but he couldn`t from Eric or me. We were together recruiting for a long time. I think he valued the fact that two gay men could become just good friends and not have to worry about anything sexual."

      "You have to take into consideration where Daryl comes from. You wouldn`t believe the jokes some of Daddy`s clients would tell, how downright bigoted they were."

      "I believe it alright. Eric and I reached out to him because we understand how lonely it can get, especially for those that have to remain closeted. But from watching those two, Daryl`s going to have to come out."

      "Maybe you`re the one to give him that push. You understand that side of him better than anyone," Maggie said. She now understood just how fragile Daryl`s emotions could be and wanted more than anything to give him a sense of stability.

      Daryl and Jesus quit what they were doing and headed in their direction. Aaron noticed he had set some things on Daryl`s cot and quickly removed them.

      "How`s it going?" Jesus asked when they entered. Daryl set his crossbow down beside the cot.

      "I think we`ll have enough containers if we pack everything else pretty tight," Maggie said. "Ten right?"

      "Yes," Jesus said. He noticed Aaron looking at him a bit peculiarly.

      Daryl sat down on the cot to adjust his shoelaces. "The ground is gettin` froze up. We`ll need a pickax."

      "I`ll look around," Maggie said.

      "So, you two will basically be alone in the wilderness," Aaron said. "A tent can get pretty cold this time of year."

      "We won`t be staying in a tent," Jesus said. "King Ezekiel knows of a cabin." In his mind he was wondering what exactly Aaron was getting at.

      "Daryl`s not used to cold winter weather. I`m just concerned that`s all." He saw Daryl staring at him, not in his usual intimidating way, but in a way that suggested he did know what he was getting at. Daryl then faced away from him, somewhat embarrassed. 

      "I`m sure I`ll find something to keep him warm," Jesus said.

      "I`m sure you will," Aaron said not looking at Daryl. He noticed Maggie giving him a wide-eyed look.

      Then it hit Jesus what his meaning was. "Umm, yes, I`d most certainly like to. I mean, I`m certain I will find some warm blankets and winter clothes. Will you excuse me?" He suddenly walked away and headed in he direction of the mill.

      "I just remembered that one of our scavengers found a box of first aid supplies. I think I left it in Jesus`s trailer," Maggie said and quickly left.

      Aaron stood there feeling the awkwardness of being left alone with Daryl.

      "You`re pushin`," Daryl simply said.

      "Someone has to." He stood there with his hands on his hips. "Goddammit, Daryl, I may not know shit about what went on in your past, but you need to stop this game of hiding and feeling ashamed of yourself. You never fooled Eric or me, nor Tara and Dr. Denise."

      Daryl often thought of Denise, how she opened up to him about her past. His regret was that he didn`t live up to her expectations when she was killed by Dwight. "Denise told me I needed to face my shit."

      "Then do it." Aaron sat down beside him and placed his hand on Daryl`s arm. "I can see what`s going on. You keep it up for too long you`ll lose a chance you won`t ever get back again. Don`t choose fear and loneliness. Jesus is attracted to you and you to him. It could develop into something more, something better. Out of anyone you deserve that chance, my friend."

      Daryl knew Aaron was right. But there were so many things standing in the way, so many emotions that were whirling around in his mind, all of them in a bizarre matrix of extremes he couldn`t sort out. "I`m not sure if I can."

      Aaron gave him a brotherly embrace then stood up. "I think you need to be alone for a while. But don`t take too long or you`ll be alone for the rest of your life. Nowadays nobody knows how long that is anymore." He quickly exited the trailer.

      Daryl sat there unmoving, pondering Aaron`s words. He needed to admit to himself that he could not get Paul 'Jesus' Rovia out of his head no matter how hard he tried. But could he admit to himself that maybe he had made a mistake so many years ago that changed the course of his life?

                                                                                                                                *****

      A couple days later Daryl and Maggie were going through the boxes of rations that someone had brought from Alexandria. Jesus appeared in the doorway an amused look on his face.

      "Theo`s wondering what you two are being so secretive about," Jesus said. "He probably thinks you`re having an affair."

      Maggie laughed. "Tell him the wedding is tomorrow, dress is apocalypse casual. Damn, what`s wrong with my head lately? I think I left the inventory list on the desk in the office. Be back in a jiff."

      Daryl stopped what he was doing and stood there in silence, gazing at the floor. He looked up at Jesus. "You think we can pull Rick`s idea off without bein` found out?" The one thing he didn`t want to do was jeopardize Maggie`s safety now that the war with the Saviors had begun.

       Jesus folded his arms. "Now that Gregory has headed for parts unknown, things are better, more secure here."

       Daryl nodded and set aside a box. "It`ll be good to get out and around again."

       "I can understand your restlessness, not wanting to stay put." Jesus stepped closer to him. Out of anyone he had ever met, Jesus found Daryl a mix of many puzzling contradictions. This fact alone intrigued him, as well as finding Daryl physically attractive and someone with a sensitive heart and a strong fighting spirit. "I wonder if Gregory is at The Sanctuary. Not that I really care."

       "That son-of-a-bitch can wallow in his own shit and eat it!" Daryl shouted angrily shoving some boxes aside as if he was ready to strangle Maggie`s predecessor.

       Jesus coolly stood there and looked directly at him. In that moment he felt he understood Daryl`s anger. He felt anger towards Gregory as well. "I won`t disagree with you, but you shouldn`t put so much energy towards your hatred of him." It was difficult because he couldn`t allow the anger to overwhelm his thinking, either.

       Daryl`s imprisonment had obviously brought out the emotions of self-doubt and anger that he thought he had long gotten over. He moved towards Jesus then backed off, realizing he had no real reason to be angry at him. Sometimes Daryl just couldn`t understand where his emotions were coming from, but Jesus was really a more calming presence for him. There was that stirring of feelings from deep inside of him again; ever since he had laid eyes on Jesus. He tried to concentrate on the task at hand. "So, where are we gonna start to get this thing movin`?" Daryl took a couple deep breaths, his anger now dissipating.

      Jesus sighed, realizing Daryl`s emotions would still be raw for quite some time. He also understood that Daryl was trying to handle things on his own. His heart went out to him, understanding the man`s loneliness probably more so than anyone knew. "That cabin I told you about is pretty isolated. There`s plenty of firewood nearby, a small stream for water. It can serve as our base and I can get vegetables, fruits, dairy, grains, and other supplies."

      "The two of us will be stayin` at this cabin?" Daryl asked.

      "One of us will at least have to. That`s where we`ll store the supplies until they can be hid at a depot." Jesus sighed. "I`ll see about getting you something warmer to wear. We can leave in the next day or two. We`ll also stop at The Kingdom and talk to King Ezekiel." He paused hoping to lighten Daryl`s mood. "I`m sure going to miss your complex talkative conversations."

      Daryl glared at him. "You know somethin`? You talk too damn much."

      "Someone has to say something in these awkward silences of yours," Jesus said in a tone merely to egg him on "Alright, you can stay at the cabin and have no one to talk to."

      "Prick," Daryl said for lack of anything else to say. His hair fell over his face causing Jesus to sigh inside with desire, his eyes locked on him.

      "Asshole," Jesus whispered and turned around, a broad laughing smile on his face.

                                                                                                                                *****

      That next evening a brisk wind had built up and was blowing from the northwest as Jesus and Daryl prepared a stealthy departure out of the secret back gate that Maggie had recently built for a mass escape if it was ever needed. It was decided that Daryl would stay at the cabin while Jesus gathered supplies. Then the two of them would seek out hiding places for the supply depots. Enid hugged Daryl tightly and kissed him on the cheek. "Take care of yourself. I know you have a crossbow to get those squirrels."

      Daryl grinned slightly. He always enjoyed Enid`s company, her innocence and youth reminding him that there was always the possibility of a future. "Thanks. You take care of yourself." He turned around ready to follow Jesus out of the gate.

      "Daryl? Aren`t you going to tell me goodbye?" Maggie said as she practically ran, not letting her condition slow her down.

      He turned around and greeted her. They hugged tightly. "Take care of yourself and the baby."

      She kissed him on the cheek. "Be careful out there."

      He nodded then turned to look at Jesus. "Let`s go." Jesus unlatched the gate, made a quick check for walkers, and the two men moved quickly out into the oncoming twilight. Maggie latched the gate behind them.

      "I`m sure going to miss him," Enid said. "He said he liked my cooking." Enid shivered. "Dog food sandwiches. How could he stand it?"

      "Daryl`s tough. He`s seen a lot of ugly in his life. What we can give him at every chance is understanding and love."

      "Love. Maybe that`s what he really needs to find."

      Maggie enjoyed how perceptive Enid could be. "Who knows? Maybe he will find it in the place he least expects." They turned away to get out of the cold.

                                                                                                                              *

       An energetic cold wind blew King Ezekiel`s cape as he walked with Jesus and Daryl through the center of The Kingdom, Shiva walking calmly beside them. Jerry was behind them wishing he was eating some of the good breakfast cobbler that had been left over from that morning. Guarding the King, however, was more important.

      "I think Rick`s idea is a good one," Jesus said, "Negan won`t let this go easily, even if the war does slow down for the winter."

      "Maybe it`ll be dangerous for you, too," Daryl said.

      King Ezekiel was silent for a long time as he contemplated what he had just heard and looked at both of them with deep concern. "Even though I do believe Rick is wise in this action, winter will soon be upon us. I cannot be comfortable knowing someone is out in the wilderness alone under those conditions, when I can offer shelter, asylum, and warmth."

      "The Saviors ain`t around much. This is the best time to do this," Daryl said.

      "He`s got a good point there," Ezekiel`s steward Jerry said.

      They stopped. "Jerry, I get it," King Ezekiel said. "At least stay the night. Start fresh in the morning. Perhaps when you return all shall go well and you shall have a winter`s tale to tell." Shiva came up to Daryl and nuzzled against him. Ezekiel looked at the spectacle with amusement. "Shiva does not choose who she likes lightly," he said in a knowing voice.

      Daryl bent down and stroked her fur, nuzzling his face with hers. "Yeah, we can stay the night."

      "She understands your pain, Daryl, for she has felt pain herself." He looked at Jesus. "Stop by at your convenience and we will get you all the supplies you will need."

      "Thank you, Your Majesty," Jesus said. More and more he was feeling a desire not to return to Hilltop but hole up in the cabin as well. As long as Maggie needed him he would stay. He was staring directly at Daryl, who looked up at him. They`re eyes locked for a moment before they both turned away. This was not lost on King Ezekiel.

                                                                                                                               *****

      "Penny for your thoughts," Carol said to Daryl as they strolled through the now brown crop gardens of The Kingdom. There were light snow flurries dancing around them. "You really think being alone out there is a good idea?"

      Daryl shrugged. "It`s a good plan. I won`t be alone all the time."

      Carol knew how bad Daryl felt about everything concerning Glenn and Abraham. She wondered if he would ever fully recover from the incident. In that moment he never seemed more alone and vulnerable.. "What can I do for you?"

      "Nothin`. Nobody can do nothin` no more."

      "That`s certainly not true. Something`s going on. I know Jesus is someone you talk to a lot."

      Daryl looked up at her and shrugged. "We enjoy each other`s company, that`s all."

      Carol looked at  him as if she already knew exactly what it was that was happening with him. "I like him. I think he`s a good person."

      "Why are you lookin` at me like that?"

      Carol smiled. " Daryl, do what your heart tells you to do."

      Daryl seemed confused by her statement. "I don`t know nothin` about it."

      "I think you do. You just need to take that first step."

      "What if I ain`t ready to take that first step."

      "How long do you think you can go on? When something special happens it can make a lot of insecurity disappear. Or are you just too afraid to step out of your comfort zone, no matter how much it hurts."

      Out of anyone Carol was the only person he allowed to say such things to him. "Michonne says not to get too comfortable in your comfort zone 'cause you`ll get kicked out when you least expect it."

      "I would say Michonne is right in that. You`re going to be away from the fracas for a while. Take the opportunity to look at some things. Promise me you`ll do that?" She grasped both of Daryl`s hands.

      "I`ll try."

      "Try harder." She looked lovingly at him, the way a sister would. "Daryl, there is something inside of you that you have kept to yourself. There was something that happened in your past that made you make a decision that you may regret if you don`t take care of it."

      "And you think you know what it is?" he asked, feeling a sense that she already knew the answer.

      "Yes, I do. But it is something you will have to find out for yourself. All I know is it will give you some peace of mind." She kissed him on the forehead. "I`ll see you when I see you." They hugged tightly for a very long time.

                                                                                                                              *

       Jesus carefully led Daryl through a dense thicket of shrubs and trees, the grasses and weeds starting to turn brown and die as they made their way through the thickest part of the woods. The air was cold and crisp, the steam from their breaths dense and long. Both were dragging dollies with boxes.

      "Looks like a clearin` of some kind over there," Daryl said pointing. It was at that moment they heard the all too familiar gurgling growl of a walker.

      "I got it," Jesus said when he spotted it through some dense dead foliage. He held up the spear that he had been carrying, slipped on a small patch of mud, and threw it at the walker only to have it lodge in its stomach, spilling out the rotting insides. The walker now turned in their direction.

      "Shit," Daryl calmly said under his breath and with his crossbow he easily shot the walker in the head. He withdrew the spear and tossed it to land right in front of Jesus. "You make those things, but you don`t know how to throw them?" he asked, his voice betraying his disbelief.

      "For your information, I slipped." Jesus swooped down and picked up the spear. "I suppose you can do better. I bet you`ve never thrown a spear in your life." Jesus was sure Daryl had, but getting a bit of a rise out of him was quite amusing and stimulating at the same time.

      Daryl grabbed the spear from him. Right at that moment a squirrel leaped in the air from one tree to another. There was a brief swish of moving air and the squirrel was left impaled in a tree trunk. "Shows what you know." Daryl looked right at him a touch of impatience in his voice.

      "I guess I better start taking redneck lessons. What`s next professor?" Jesus just couldn`t help being sarcastic at that moment.

      "I`ll give you more lessons if you don`t shut up," Daryl said as he removed the squirrel, inspected it, and hung it on a hook on his backpack. He retrieved the crossbow bolt from the walker. Jesus`s tactic was working splendidly on him. "Let`s go find that cabin of yours." He aggressively tossed the spear to Jesus, who caught it this time.

                                                                                                                               *****

      The cabin was a small one room job, but cozy with an outhouse in the back and a tool shed on its left. It looked to be in good shape with the exception of a few loose boards. Crossbow at the ready Daryl opened the door and peered inside. Jesus was close behind him with the spear ready. They heard no sounds from walkers and upon closer inspection didn`t find any hiding in the one closet or other remote corners.

      "Looks like a hunter`s cabin of some kind," Daryl said. "I don`t see no guns."

      "There aren`t any. When I inspected this place I found no weapons of any kind, just some tools and fishing gear. There`s an ax for chopping wood, hammers, screwdrivers. That`s about it."

      Daryl noticed the trophy deer`s head above the fireplace. "Deer hunter. Maybe there`s a blind nearby."

      Upon inspecting the small shed they found the fishing gear in good shape as well as the tools. Part of the shed had hooks for hanging dead animals to bleed out. When they left the shed Jesus pointed to the outhouse. "Accommodations here are redneck resort quality."

      Daryl emitted one of his short laughs. "I should feel right at home in no time."

      "It was a joke."

      "Damn poor one at that." Daryl removed the squirrel from his backpack and went back into the shed. He hung it up on one of the hooks.

      "You laughed. Sort of," Jesus said grinning as they made their way towards the porch.

      Daryl looked directly at him. "Yeah. I guess I did." He felt a cold sprinkle on his cheek. "Let`s get this stuff inside. Grab some of those logs and we`ll get a fire goin`."

                                                                                                                               *****

      The fireplace was soon aglow with a pleasant warm fire as Jesus helped him straighten up the place as well as unpacking backpacks and dollies. After inspecting the bed that was in the corner and taking the dusty covers off, Jesus made it up for him. "I`ll bring you more blankets next time. It`ll be colder by then." He watched as Daryl cleared off the small wooden table. "Are you sure you`ll be alright by yourself?"

      "I`ll be fine." Daryl seemed more depressed than when they had left The Kingdom.

      Jesus took a dust cover off of a black leather sofa and sat down on it. "This place is well hidden. I guess the hunter that occupied it didn`t care much for civilization."

      "Not much to care about no more." Daryl sat down beside him.

      "Tired?"

      "A little." Daryl seemed to stare off into nothing as he laid his head back.

      Jesus rested his head back as well and rolled it in Daryl`s direction. "I know you`re going through a lot right now, ever since you saw Dwight at Alexandria. I know how much you wanted to stick that knife through his head. But you didn`t." If anything he had to offer hope. Getting Daryl to believe it was going to be the hard part.

      "I`ll give him his chance to help us. I will keep my promise to kill him when this is over." Daryl pursed his lips. "I won`t ever forget what they did. Things like that stay with you a long time." Over and over the images of Negan bashing in first Abraham`s head and then Glenn`s with Lucille played in his mind, especially Glenn`s. What Maggie said helped, but there was still some processing he had to make and it was proving difficult as long as Negan or any Savior was still alive.

      "Healing also stays with you a long time. You know, maybe this is what you need." Daryl was now looking at him. "This kind of thing? This is easy for you, Daryl." Daryl looked at him for a moment, but said nothing before turning away. "I`ll leave you the spear."

      "Won`t you need it on the way back?"

      "No. I got my knives." Jesus got up. "I`ll return in a few days with more supplies for the depots. It`ll be lonely at Hilltop without you." Jesus had learned to really enjoy having Daryl around, if only just to have someone who understood what he was talking about without having to explain things. A conversation about weapons was one that stuck in his head.

      "Maybe." Did Jesus detect Daryl smiling at him slightly? Was Daryl somewhat playing with him?

      "You`ll be lonely too," Jesus said knowingly. He also felt a bit playful in that moment.

      "No, I won`t." Daryl glanced at him a bit flirtatiously.

      Jesus felt his heart skip a beat. "Yes. You will." He picked up his coat and put it on. Without another word he left, Daryl`s eyes following him all the way. After the door was shut, Daryl grabbed one of the blankets that Jesus had placed at the end of the sofa. He glanced at the fire to see that it was still going strong. Soon he was fast asleep with only the sound of the wind and soft patter of sleet for company.

                                                                                                                               *****

      Trying to stay warm from a sharp late autumn wind, Jesus and Enid were sorting and packing more supplies for the depots in the storage trailer. Maggie had been there earlier, but left to attend to some matters. Enid found a couple paperbacks and handed them to him. "Maybe he`ll like these if he gets bored," she said.

      " **War of the Worlds** by H.G. Wells.  **Salem`s Lot** by Stephen King," Jesus said as he looked at the titles.

      Maggie entered the trailer carrying a round pie carrier. There were two pies inside. "Ms. Maitlin wants to send these along. There`s an apple and a rhubarb. She didn`t get the chance to properly thank Daryl for fixing her blender." She set the carrier on top of a box and inspected what had been set aside. "There`s more here than I thought would be."

      "We have to take good care of Daryl, too," Enid said.

      "Between us and King Ezekiel, we will," Maggie assured her, smiling. Since the war with the Saviors started, Maggie often wondered if there were those still living at Hilltop who were still loyal to Gregory. When anyone walked by they quickly shifted boxes around to hide the rations, then pretended not to notice. "I hope nobody notices us taking too much away from here."

      "Maybe it`s good that they think Daryl decided to skip town," Jesus said. A story had been made up that Daryl was tired of staying put and left to be alone. If Gregory had still been around he would be glad that Daryl had left. Jesus had run out of patience with Gregory and hoped he would never show up again and also hoped he got what he deserved if he was palling around with Negan. Maybe he just had to wait for the right moment.  _"Extending a helping hand towards someone is a sign of character. Where`s yours?"_ he remembered in a conversation concerning Daryl just before Gregory left. 

       _"We are not a charity ward. Considering his attitude and demeanor, he`ll probably end up betraying all of you. I know these lone wolf types." Gregory paused to pour himself another glass of tequila. "Besides he never showers."_

_Jesus almost knocked down everything on Gregory`s desk when he moved towards him, clenching and unclenching his fists. "Do you have the slightest idea what they did to him in that place? Torture. Beatings. Not to mention a diet of dog food sandwiches. I should punch you until you make the walkers look glamorous by comparison." When it came to putting down Daryl his emotions were raw and unrestrained._

_"Take it easy, Jesus. So they treated him badly. That`s Negan. That`s the Saviors. What do you expect?"_

_"What I expect is some compassion for a fellow human being. It could easily be you in one of their prison cells," Jesus said backing off._ Then again maybe Gregory was already in one of their prison cells.

       "Hello, Earth to Jesus," Maggie said.

       "Huh? Oh, sorry, just thinking about the last conversation I had with Gregory."

       "Thank God it`s all in the past now." Maggie looked at everything. "I`ll go get the dolly I saw over by the mill." She left to get it.

       Jesus looked at Enid and sighed. "I`m sorry if I reminded you about Gregory, Enid."

       Enid smiled. "It`s okay. I knew he was an ass."

       Jesus emitted a short appreciative laugh. Moments later Maggie returned with the dolly. "Enid, I saw some fresh milk and eggs by Juanita`s trailer. Would you go get them for me?"

      "Sure."

      "Thanks." She watched as Enid left. Jesus perceived that Maggie wanted to speak with him alone. "Jesus, how is he? Really."

      Jesus sighed. "When I left he seemed quite melancholy. He seems so haunted at times."

      "Daryl is someone who feels things very deeply. He tries to keep things under, but in reality, he never could." The sorrow Maggie felt for Daryl was apparent in her voice.

      "I think the best thing is just to be there for him." Jesus shrugged. "Which seems a bit impossible at the moment."

      "He`s come a long way to go back to the way he was. Since the time he`s been separated from Merle he`s come to know himself and come out of his shell a little bit at a time. But the old Daryl was never fully driven out." Maggie sat down on a small stool to attach some packs to the dolly.

      "It`s the old Daryl that drives him, Maggie. It is kept in check as long as his head is on straight. I`m going to find a way to make sure it stays that way." The determination in his voice was strong.

      "I know you will. I know how strongly you feel about him."

      Jesus closed his eyes. "I`m mad about him. I think he feels the same way. I just need to give him a little more time."

      "If that`s true, he will come around. In fact, you two are somewhat alike," Maggie said.

      "In what way is that?"

      "Both of you have issues about getting close to someone. I know it has to do with pain. If you indeed have discovered a love for one another that`s what really matters. You will be able to work out your pain together. Both of you have been alone for too long."

      "The first time I saw Daryl, when I encountered him and Rick and the supply truck, I saw the pain in his eyes, Maggie. I know he`s steeled himself to a lot of things. I also know he has the same feelings as any other human being. I know the look a gay man gives to another gay man. It`s an unconscious thing, we just seem to know."

       "I`m going to tell you something I`ve never told anyone else. One day Glenn and I caught him talking to one of the men we took into the prison from when Woodbury fell. They went into the prison together. About twenty minutes later Daddy came out and told us that Daryl had a new friend. We didn`t get the meaning at first. This man then came and stood outside smoking a cigarette. Daryl came out and they gave each other a thumbs up. That`s when we figured it out. Glenn thought highly of Daryl and it was his wish that he would someday find love. It has been my wish, too." She reached over and squeezed his shoulder.

       "I have to believe he`s in love with me, Maggie. I know in my heart he is," Jesus said with intensity.

       "Give him time. Give him space. When it happens it will happen so fast the barriers will come down and there will be no point of return." She gave him a reassuring smile.

       "You seem so certain of that."

       "It`s because I know Daryl Dixon. His loyalty is steadfast and strong to those he cares about. He does care about you. He`s uncertain of the path, that`s all. Don`t give up, Jesus."

       "Thank you, Maggie. I`ll try very hard not to."

       "Now, let`s see  how tight we can tie some of this down."

                                                                                                                                *****

_Things at the prison were running along smoothly as Daryl and Sasha returned from their four-day supply run. According to Carl, who had opened the gate for them, there had been no deaths, with the exception of the walkers at the fence, for a total of twenty or so days. Daryl noticed that some more crops had been planted and Rick and Hershel were now doing some weeding. Sasha, who had been following him in the car, stopped and got out. "I`ll unload everything. You get some rest."_

_Carol, who was on watch close to the guard tower, had overheard the comment. She stood there her hands on her hips. "You know, Daryl, you`re going to have to stop being so hyped up about everything. Learn to relax. You don`t have to be on watch all of the time."_

_Daryl pointed to the walkers banging against the fence. "When they`re gone." He reached into the leather saddlebag and pulled out a carton of Morley`s. "Ain`t a total loss." He removed a pack and tucked the carton under his arm. He then revved up his bike to go park it with the other vehicles. Once inside the prison he did his business in the washroom where he found Devon, one of the residents from Woodbury they had taken in. Devon was a tall lanky man with graying dark hair and gray/green eyes._

_"Daryl, you`re back. Had any luck?"_

_"We found a burg some five or so miles from here. Don`t look picked over." His and Devon`s eyes met for a moment. "Things here seem pretty quiet."_

_"They have been. Rick and Hershel found some hogs in the forest. We may be able to have some great pork to go with our beans for once." Devon laughed slightly._

_Daryl appreciated the joke. "I`m gonna get some sleep." He gave Devon an appreciative once over and left. Devon stood there and smiled, then nodded his head._

_*****_

_Daryl had slept for hours and after a meager breakfast stood on one of the catwalks smoking. He watched as people speared walkers at the fence, most seeming to get the hang of the job._

_"Good morning," Devon said as he came out on the catwalk. "Oh my god, where did you get those?"_

_Daryl dug out the pack and offered him one. "Got a whole carton in my cell. Stop by and I`ll give you a pack." He flicked his lighter to light up Devon`s._

_Devon inhaled deeply and coughed slightly. "Guess it`s been too long since I had one of these things. Feels kind of funny. Used to go to all the bars and smoke all the time until they banned it. Hated going outside, but the view was better. Sports bars were my favorite to watch all the games. I liked the leather bars, too."_

_Daryl snorted. He knew all too well what Devon was talking about. "Fake bikers, you mean."_

_"Not like you right?"_

_"I like bikes, but I ain`t no biker,"_

_Devon stood there and smoked for a minute staring him up and down "Look, I`m not into relationships and I don`t think you are, either. Things are leveling off here right now, we can let our guard down for a bit. We`re in a prison, what say you and me interrogate the prisoner." He winked at Daryl._

_Daryl shrugged. "Later this afternoon. There ain`t nobody in the section where my cell is." He had been attracted to Devon ever since he saw him. Devon was right about not wanting to get involved in a relationship, but Daryl knew the game and in that moment felt the need to be a willing player._

_*****_

_That afternoon Devon followed Daryl down the long hallway to where his cell was located. All of the other cells occupied by single men were empty. They went inside and Daryl grabbed the carton of cigarettes and tossed him a pack then a book of matches._

_"Thanks." Devon looked around. "Not any roomier than the ones in the other cell block are they." He pulled over the blanket covering the door._

_"They all look the same to me." Daryl sat down on the bunk and scooted back until he leaned against the wall._

_"How is it those of us who are a certain way just know?" Devon asked as he got down on his knees._

_"Mystery to me, too."_

_"You seem kind of sad to me, Daryl. Is it because of the loss of Merle?"_

_Daryl nodded. "Only family I had. Got nobody now."_

_Devon reached over and undid Daryl`s fly. "Let me help you forget, at least for a while. I love giving and getting head myself."_

_"That`s all I do anymore and not very often," Daryl replied licking his lips in anticipation. Devon didn`t have to bother with underwear since Daryl didn`t wear any so he immediately took his jewels and gently massaged them. When he came down and took Daryl`s cock in his mouth, Daryl hissed with pleasure taking deep breaths as he throbbed and got quickly hard. He came within ten minutes, his juice going deep into Devon`s throat. Daryl redid his pants and got up._

_"I like to stand," Devon said and leaned against the bunks, bracing his arms on the unoccupied top bunk. Daryl knelt down and undid Devon`s fly, pulling the pants down slightly. Devon also wasn`t wearing underwear, which was a commodity these days, his cock already semi-erect. Daryl took it into his mouth, sucking and licking, enjoying the throbbing organ as it got harder. He could taste the pre-cum and when Devon fully came he moaned as he took in as much as he could. When he finished Daryl got up, semen running down one side of his mouth onto his chin._

_"Maybe we can do this again sometime," Devon said._

_"Yeah," Daryl nodded. They heard someone enter the hallway. "You better go."_

_Devon did up his pants and nodded. He walked over and shoved the blanket/curtain aside. "Thanks for the smokes, Daryl. You were lucky to find them. See ya round." He looked down the hall and saw Hershel and waved. Hershel waved back and smiled. Devon walked in the opposite direction towards the cell block where he and the other previous residents of Woodbury were staying. Daryl peered out the doorway and glanced at Hershel who stood about six feet away from him and was looking at him a bit oddly. It was then Daryl realized there were a few drops of semen on his chin. He wiped them away with the back of his hand, a somewhat guilty look on his face._

_"I noticed you were back and wanted to let you know there`s a meeting with the council tomorrow at ten," Hershel said._

_"Okay, thanks."_

_"Sasha said you didn`t get much sleep on the last run." The concern was heavy in Hershel`s voice._

_"Yeah, we ran into a lot of walkers. Nothin` we couldn`t handle. You know how restless I am, so I kept watch most of the time." Daryl fumbled with his pack of Morley`s, but managed to light a cigarette, his hand trembling slightly. Did Hershel suspect?_

_Hershel chuckled. "You need to keep up on your rest like everyone else. We can`t afford to have anyone get sick. Relax and enjoy yourself, even if it`s just a little." He came closer to Daryl. "And it`s alright, Daryl.  
_

_"Alright? I don`t know what you mean."_

_"I think you do." He paused and took a slight turn to leave before looking at Daryl again. "That wasn`t exactly ice cream on your face." His eyes were bright and amused as he smiled slightly, meeting Daryl`s nervous gaze. Without another word he walked down the hallway._

_Daryl stood there smoking watching Hershel until he rounded a corner. He emitted a quiet "huh" before going back into his cell. He shouldered his crossbow and decided to do some hunting. With any luck he would shoot a deer after the sun set since they were mostly nocturnal._

                                                   *****

       When Jesus came upon the cabin he noticed that Daryl obviously hadn`t been just doing nothing. Even though they had to keep the cabin looking as if it had been abandoned, there were some small repairs here and there. He noticed the door now had a latch and probably a lock of some kind on the inside. Jesus knocked a few times, but there wasn`t an answer.

       "Back here," he heard Daryl call out from the shed.

       Jesus left the dolly with the supplies and provisions on the porch and went into the shed. He spread out his arms. "Behold, I stand at the door, and knock; if anyone hears my voice..."

      "I heard. Shut up."

      Jesus grinned. "How did you know it was me?"

      "I saw you comin` through the trees over there." Daryl`s hair draped over his eyes in soft wisps, framing the strong handsome face Jesus remembered when he first laid eyes on him.

      "You`re looking good. This obviously has been good for you."

      "Fresh air. Just the natural world. Can`t beat that." Daryl went into the shed. Jesus noticed a pheasant, a duck, and a young buck hanging from the hooks.

      "Any walkers?"

      "Just a couple loners. I burned their bodies by the creek." Daryl checked the bucket under the deer to make sure it was still draining. "Come on inside." He wiped his hands and they went into the cabin, Jesus wheeling in the dolly. "See anyone close by?"

      "A couple from The Kingdom. I didn`t show myself. I think they were doing some long range hunting." Jesus undid the straps and sorted out the supplies. He noticed that the inside of the cabin had been swept and cleaned. The windows were also covered. The fire was low, but it was warm. The bed was unmade, but most of the place looked tidy and slightly disorganized. Overall he felt at home. "Ms. Maitlin sent you some thank-you pies. The books are from Enid."

      "Books?"

      "I caught you reading that one afternoon, remember? What you don`t want I take back with me."

      "Any smokes?"

      Jesus reached into the pocket of a tote bag and pulled out a pack of Morley`s and some matches. "Compliments of Carol Peletier." He tossed them to Daryl who immediately lit one up. "No moonshine. Sorry."

      "Don`t need any of that shit anyway. I`m even more of an ass when I get drunk." Daryl`s voice was gruff and even. He straddled a chair resting his arms on the back, the cigarette in his right hand. He stared with thrilling admiration at how Jesus`s long soft hair hung over the sides of his face framing his beard. He caught himself and looked away.

      "Not sure whether I`d want to see that or not. I could probably still handle you." The way Daryl was looking at him was not lost on Jesus. He also noticed how Daryl tried to hide and repress his admiration.

      "I ain`t interested in seein` you try."

      "Really? Maybe I should accept that as a challenge."

      Daryl`s eyes locked with Jesus`s. His stomach was tight, his hand trembling slightly as he put the cigarette up to his mouth. "Can you stay a while?"

     "Sure. Lonely?" It was of great interest to Jesus that it had only been four days since he last saw him. Daryl only answered with a slight nod and a soft grunt. "Told you so." Jesus continued to undo everything on the dolly. He could feel Daryl`s eyes watching him. Every once in a while he would meet Daryl`s gaze. He could feel himself trembling inside, a longing to finally be close to someone. Jesus felt that maybe it was also time for him to step up or lose that one thing he longed for in his life forever.

                                                                                                                               *****

      What passed for the kitchen in the cabin was a large sink with a pump beside it as well as an old fashioned ice box. Daryl had found a small well so he didn`t always have to fetch water from the creek, even though he still had to boil it for drinking. The stove and oven were wood burning. Jesus watched Daryl prepare the pheasant like he had done it so many times before in his life. The apple pie from Ms. Maitlin was on the table as well as some pomegranates from Ezekiel. A loaf of homemade bread with freshly churned butter was at the end of the table. 

      "It`s amazing how we`ve had to go back to the old way of doing things," Jesus said. "I guess the few who still know them are the ones that are still alive. Oh, Malcolm at The Kingdom wanted to know if you wanted one of his goats. He also sent along some goat cheese."

      "Nah, too much of a chance the walkers will get it."

      "That`s what I said to him. I told him I would at least ask." Jesus got up and set out plates and utensils. He looked out the window. "Looks like I`ll have to go back in the middle of the night."

      Daryl lit up another cigarette. "Stay. The sofa`s great."

      Jesus smiled slightly. "Thank you. I will." He took a deep breath. "This is nice, Daryl, real nice. Simple. Cozy." It was a relief to him in a lot of ways not to go back during the night, mostly because it was cold. He could make his way back in the dark if he had to, but staying in the warmth of the cabin was more appealing. He couldn`t argue with the fact that keeping company with a friend and someone he had fallen in love with was not a bad thing when he thought about it.

      "Comforts of home," Daryl said as he took a long draw from the cigarette.

      "The Redneck Hilton." Jesus`s wide blue/green eyes met Daryl`s steady cool gaze. He tried to breathe, but he simply could not inhale the air was so dense. It took every effort to look away.

                                                                                                                               *****

      After they had eaten, Daryl had gone out to check the perimeter for walkers. Finding none he closed the door and locked it with the wooden latch. He threw another log on the fire and sat down on the stone seat in front to poke at it. He glanced at Jesus who was sorting some of the smaller rations out on the large tree stump that passed for a coffee table. His light came from a dimly lit lantern.

      "Keeping the Saviors in the dark about this arrangement might be a problem," Jesus said after a long silence. "I spotted someone who might be one of the Scavengers. Rick and Maggie are convinced they`ve made a deal with Negan to be spies."

      "Maybe it`s better you don`t come here, leave the supplies someplace else." Daryl felt the last thing he wanted was never to see Jesus again.

      "Mission or no mission, Maggie and Carol made me promise to look after you. We still have to complete it."

      Daryl looked down at the floor. The memories that haunted him simply would not go away. "I know." He could feel the melancholy overwhelm him again.

      Jesus somehow felt that the thoughts that haunted Daryl had somehow come to the forefront again. He got up and sat down beside Daryl. "Don`t tear yourself apart. Would Glenn want you to feel this way?"

      Daryl looked away. "I don`t know what Glenn would think." The subject of Glenn would always be sensitive to him.

      Jesus looked down at the floor, then at Daryl`s back. Maybe he shouldn`t have reminded Daryl of Glenn. He reached up and touched his shoulder. "Look, I`m sorry."

      Daryl reached up and placed his hand on top of Jesus`s. "Negan was so--I couldn`t--." Daryl curled up sobbing slightly.

      "I know what went down. Maggie described it to me in every detail. What`s done is done, Daryl. Let it go."

      Daryl got up, shook him off, and looked at him. "I`m not sure I can just yet."

      "But you will. Let me help."

      "What can you do to help?"

      Jesus knew the answer and even though Daryl was in a fragile state of mind for some reason he felt he had to say it. "Forgive yourself for what happened to Glenn." He knew it would trigger something in Daryl, as to what that was Jesus wasn`t certain he wanted to find out.

                                                                                                                                *****

      That next morning Daryl had barely said a word to him as they ate a meager breakfast of toast and cereal. Jesus finally slammed his spoon down on the table causing Daryl to look up.

      "What? Was it because I mentioned Glenn?"

      "I don`t know what the hell you`re talkin` about," Daryl said the intensity in his tone evident.

      "There are things you just don`t want to admit to yourself so you put on this little mask of finding some way of punishing yourself or denying yourself. All you do is lie to yourself."

      Daryl got up, slamming the chair so hard against the table it fell over. Jesus seemed unfazed by the action. "Go. Leave. Now."

      "I should and never come back. Someone else can bring the rest of the supplies." Now Jesus was getting furious at Daryl`s attitude.

      "What the hell is your problem?"

      "What the hell is yours?" Jesus fired back. Daryl came around the table and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. Jesus stared right into his eyes, not backing down for an instant. "I`m not afraid of you."

      "You should be."

      "Oh, look at you. Want to punch me? Want to throw me across the room? Then do it."

      Daryl lifted Jesus out of the chair and then dropped him onto the floor. Jesus then got up and shoved Daryl against a support post. "You think you`re the only one with guilt?" Jesus`s eyes teared up. "I tear myself apart all the time about Sasha. Well, come on, asshole, get whatever it is out of your system. If you want to beat the hell out of me, do it. I`m probably the only one in your sorry life that can take it."

      Daryl could feel himself start to cry as well. "I can`t forgive myself. Not yet." He wiped the tears with the back of his hand and turned his back to Jesus. "I know what it is you want from me."

      "Really? What is it?" Jesus asked his voice strong and even. Daryl didn`t reply. "It`s something you won`t talk about. Because you are afraid." He knew he was dealing with someone who had been in the closet for too long.

      "You`re afraid too," Daryl said.

      "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

      "Keepin` secrets from the others."

      "Yeah, I keep secrets. So do you. You lied to Carol about what Negan did to Abraham and Glenn. You see? We`re both guilty of lying and secrets." Jesus leaned on the table trying not to fall to the floor. "Sort of puts us in the same boat doesn`t it?"

      Daryl couldn`t deny that. "Yeah." He slumped down in one of the chairs, shaking. Had he just done something to push someone he had deep feelings for away?

      Jesus stood up and grabbed his coat and the dolly. Without another word, he left.

                                                                                                                               *****

      Jesus had just returned to Hilltop and when Maggie went into the trailer she noticed that his eyes were all swollen and puffy from crying.

      "What he hell?" she asked.

      "Daryl and I had a bit of a fight."

      "Why?"

      "I said he should forgive himself about Glenn." He emitted an ironic laugh. "As if I can forgive myself about Sasha. I think he hates me now."

      "Stop saying that. He does not."

      "Maggie, I don`t know if I can go back." Jesus buried his face in his hands.

      She came over and embraced him letting him weep on her shoulder. "It`ll be alright. It`s something that he needed to hear. And Sasha? That was her decision to make, not yours. Maybe I should go with you on your next trip."

      He looked up wiping away his tears. "Do you really feel up to it?"

      "I`m not that far along. Besides the exercise will do me good."

      "If you really want to go. I`m not sure I should, but I won`t let you go by yourself."

      "You`ll go," she said assuredly. "And quit all this crying. I`ll have to start making 'Jesus wept' jokes."

       Jesus burst into laughter, Maggie`s sense of humor was always a salve for him and in that moment he needed it the most.

                                                                                                                               *****

**Chapter 2**

      Daryl was sitting on the porch cleaning some of his crossbow bolts when he saw Jesus and Maggie through the trees. He was somewhat surprised to see both of them. They both carried loaded backpacks. Jesus was carrying two snow shovels. Maggie flashed him a big smile when she saw him and hugged him tightly.

      "I`m glad to see you doing so well," she said and kissed him on the cheek.

      "I`m doin` fine. You okay?" He helped her take the backpack off.

      "Doing great. I wanted to see you and Jesus didn`t want me to come by myself."

      Daryl glanced at Jesus who briefly met his gaze and nodded before looking away.

      "Come on in," Daryl said. "Got a warm fire goin`.

      "I`ll take these snow shovels to the shed," Jesus said setting his backpack on the porch then headed towards the shed. Daryl and Maggie went into the cabin.

      "Sit down. You want some coffee?"

      "Sounds wonderful," Maggie said and sat down on the sofa. "You know, it`s a really nice walk to this place. I guess growing up in Georgia kind of spoiled me with warm weather. But I like this winter weather." Daryl set a mug of coffee on the tree stump coffee table where an overturned book had been placed. She read the title:  **Salem`s Lot** by Stephen King and smiled.

      "Milk?"

      "A little, please." She saw Daryl take a milk bottle out of the old fashioned ice box and laughed. "Daddy used to have an old ice box like that in the basement. He never used it because we had a fridge."

      "Merle and I went to a few places that used them. Some people couldn`t afford to have a line so they kept to the old stuff." He poured some milk in a measuring cup with a spout, put the bottle away, and brought it over to her.

      "Thank you." She took a sip after putting in the milk. "This is good." She drank in silence for a while, then glanced out the window noticing that Jesus was now sitting in the chair on the porch, his back towards them. "You know it was kind of a cold walk coming out here. I didn`t come alone."

      "I know."

      Her tone became serious. "He said you two had a fight."

      Daryl looked down not wanting to meet her gaze, then he walked over and opened the front door. "Come on in."

      Jesus hesitated for a moment, then got up. Daryl stepped aside and allowed Jesus to pass then closed the door.

      "Have some coffee. It`s really good," Maggie said.

      Daryl poured him a mug and didn`t meet his gaze when he handed it to him.

      "Thank you," Jesus said quietly and sat down at the table.

      All three of them were silent.

      "You know, we`ve all had to make a lot of decisions since everything happened, some not all that great," Maggie said gently. "A lot of mistakes are too easy to make. You two are no different."

      Daryl looked at her in awkward silence. Jesus knew she was probably right. Daryl walked over to the sink and pumped some water into a teapot and placed it on the stove. He then put some wood into the stove and poked at the fire.  "Can you two stay for somethin` to eat?" he asked quietly as he turned his back to them.

      "We`ll be more than happy to stay. Won`t we, Jesus?"

      "Glad to," Jesus said quietly.

      Daryl turned around and faced both of them. "Got a duck with all the fixin`s. Taters. Gravy. Corn on the cob."

      "Sounds wonderful," Maggie said. "I didn`t know you knew how to cook."

      Daryl shrugged. "Had to learn some time." He looked at Jesus. "You want to peel the taters?"

      "Sure."

                                                                                                                               *****

       Daryl had gone out to the shed to retrieve the duck and pluck its feathers as Maggie stayed inside and helped prepare some of the food. Jesus appeared in the doorway and watched Daryl pluck for a minute before clearing his throat. "I hope you don`t mind where I put the snow shovels."

       Daryl shrugged. "Don`t really need them."

      "You never know." Pause. "Winter is just getting started." Another pause. "Daryl, I`m sorry about what happened last time. I don`t know what got into me to bring up something you`re having trouble dealing with."

      Daryl looked at him, then looked down. "Maybe I overreacted a bit."

      "I can be pushy at times. I shouldn`t push with some people. I wasn`t ever known to be a gentle person, especially when me feelings are quite intense."

      Daryl finished plucking the feathers and got up from the stool. He took a small ax and chopped off the feet and head. He looked up at Jesus, blinking his eyes nervously. "It`s been a long time since someone came up on me that strong."

      "The last thing I want to do is hurt you, Daryl. And I have."

      Daryl shook his head. "No. You haven`t hurt me. Just things in my past I can`t seem to get over."

      "Nobody can run away from that."

      Daryl nodded. "I`m sorry, too, what I said about keepin` secrets."

      "It`s too late to change what has happened, Daryl. I think both you and I need to realize that."

      They stood there looking longingly at each other until they heard a tap on the window by the sink. Maggie was glaring at them with an expression of impatience.

      "I think the oven is ready and she`s hungry. I wouldn`t keep that pregnant woman waiting," Jesus said.

      Daryl chuckled slightly and held up the duck. "It`s ready." Together they went inside.

                                                                                                                               *****

       Maggie had noticed a change in their demeanor after coming back inside from the shed and the meal went smoothly, tasting delicious and topped off by a pumpkin pie that Ms. Maitlin had baked.

       "Apples. I can`t get enough apples," Maggie said. "Then it`s pickles. The it`s Enid`s cinnamon rolls."

       "She sent some along," Jesus said.

       "She expressly told me those were for Daryl and to leave them alone," Maggie said. Daryl smiled slightly and Jesus laughed. "So who gets to do the dishes?"

       "I wash, you dry?" Jesus said to Daryl, who only shrugged, got up, and took his plate over to the sink.

       "What happened?" Maggie whispered leaning over to Jesus.

       "We apologized," he whispered back.

       "Oh." She got up and cleared some more dishes to take over to the sink. "Daryl, that was good. Thank you."

       "Glad you could stay." He looked at Jesus, who brought over the last of the dishes on the table. He then dipped a can into the warming bin of the stove and put the hot water into the sink before pumping some cold water and putting in soap. Jesus cleared the pans off the stove.

       Maggie sat down on the sofa and decided to relax and watch them. As soon as the water was ready, Jesus started to scrub the plates. Daryl had set aside a pan with hot water and rinsed them before drying and putting them away on an open shelf. Jesus handed him a tumbler and their hands briefly touched and lingered for a moment before Daryl slowly pulled it away. Jesus washed a couple mugs and his eyes and Daryl`s eyes locked, Daryl almost dropping the mug in his hand catching it before it hit the floor. Their awkward silence continued as they washed utensils and pans, making sidelong lingering glances and slight smiles at each other until twenty minutes later they were done. Maggie didn`t want to say a word, their mild flirting a source of amusement for her. She sensed that the tenseness that existed when they had first arrived had been completely dissipated. She got up and grabbed her coat.

       "We better get going. It gets dark early."

       "At least the walkers are all froze up," Daryl said.

       "If anyone was looking for an advantage to winter that`s probably it," she said putting on her coat. "You know something? I saw two very sensitive souls tonight coming very close to finding each other. Think about the possibilities. Don`t let them slip away because tomorrow isn`t guaranteed."

       Jesus smiled slightly and gently looked at Daryl as he put on his coat. "I noticed you were getting low on fruits and vegetables so I`ll stop by The Kingdom and bring you some in a couple days." He paused. "I think we have enough supplies to start scouting out some depots."

      "I`ve got a couple places picked out already," Daryl said meeting Jesus`s gaze.

      Maggie and Daryl hugged tightly. "I probably won`t see you for quite a while. Watch yourself, huh?"

      He nodded. "You too."

      Jesus gave him a short wave and they were gone. Daryl stood there by the closed door and placed his hand on it. A look of anguish briefly came over him. He took a couple deep breaths and closed his eyes. He could feel his reluctance fading as old feelings from his long distant past were starting to stir up inside of him again; feelings of guilt and shame, but at the same time the old feelings of passion and attraction. Which would prove the stronger? How much longer could he hold onto what he had promised himself he would never do again? He had one slip-up with Whitney. But that was before the fall and the coming of the walkers. Was it really worth it anymore? Like Maggie said, tomorrow was not guaranteed.

                                                                                                                               *****

_Daryl could barely perceive Merle`s laughter from the area of the pool tables where his older brother was on a winning streak. The several shots of whiskey, the almost empty bottle in front of him, and his nonstop drinking had mellowed him out instead of its usual effect of making him uncontrolled and yelling. His head swam, but it felt good. Daryl had been eyeing a man sitting at the end of the bar who looked like a cross between Paul Newman and Harrison Ford. He had been alone all evening and when he finally caught Daryl`s eye, he smiled lustily. The jukebox blared 'It`s My Life' by The Animals and it was the only sound that made any sense amidst the noises of the bar. The man came around and sat on the empty stool next to Daryl._

_"My name is Justin. I`ve seen you here before."_

_"Yeah, I`m here a lot." Daryl`s speech was slurred and almost incomprehensible.  
_

_Justin moved closer to him. "I know why you`re looking at me," he whispered._

_Daryl felt warm and giddy. Was it from the drinking or finally having Justin sitting right beside him with the same idea he had in his own mind? "I`m here with my brother."_

_"You must be talking about Merle Dixon. I guess that makes you Daryl Dixon. I`ve heard about you from certain friends." He placed his hand on Daryl`s thigh. Daryl watched in drunken amusement as Justin`s hand slowly went towards his crotch and lightly brushed the front of his pants. "Come on. Let`s get out of here," Justin whispered seductively in his ear._

_Daryl looked to make sure Merle was too involved in his pool game to notice if he had left or not and got up from the bar stool, swaying slightly. Justin helped steady him. "I think I drank too much tonight. Usually I`m more of an asshole." Daryl burst into laughter._

_"That`s alright. I like assholes," Justin said patting him on the rear as both snickered at the inside joke. Two other bar patrons, both rough looking and obviously knowing what was going on, got up and followed them as they slipped away through the crowd and headed out the back door which led to the parking lot. The jukebox was muffled as they stood against the wall made of large concrete blocks, a lone light beside a dumpster the only illumination. They wasted no time as they hungrily kissed and Justin undid the fly on Daryl`s pants, quickly pulling them down enough so he could kiss Daryl`s balls, his tongue playing up and down Daryl`s cock._

_All of a sudden Justin was pulled away by someone grabbing his neck.  
_

_"Lookee what we got here, Bobby Jo."_

_"Coupla girlee boys, Floyd."_

_The one called Floyd then proceeded to punch and beat Justin and threw him against a parked car. Knowing what was about to happen Justin took off at a run and disappeared into the night. Bobby Jo pulled Daryl up by his shirt and reached down and squeezed his balls until Daryl winced in pain._

_"This one`s so drunk he can`t feel nothin`. Well, let`s make him feel somethin`."  Bobby Jo punched Daryl hard knocking him against the wall, then he grabbed him and shoved him to the ground. Floyd proceeded to kick him hard and stomped his foot on his stomach. Daryl tried to curl up, but Bobby Jo grabbed him and threw him against the wall again._

_"Let`s beat the shit out of this girlee boy." Both men then proceeded to beat on Daryl, his face now bleeding and bruised. They didn`t hear the sound of the door slam and a shadow moved in their direction. All of a sudden Merle punched Floyd until he was unconscious.  Bobby Jo was so surprised he started to move away from Daryl until Merle kicked him hard onto the ground. There was a metal pipe next to the dumpster and Merle grabbed it and in one blow he knocked Bobby Jo out. Then he turned to check on Daryl, who was sitting on the ground leaning against the wall, breathing heavily. By the shape Daryl was in he quickly figured out what had been going on._

_"How many times do I have to tell you, Darylina, you got to be careful these days?"_

_"I ain`t doin` nothin`, Merle, just havin` fun," Daryl said still very much in his drunken stupor._

_"Shit, you are too damn drunk to realize any kind of fun much less the fact that you just got your ass beat up." Merle helped him to stand and pulled Daryl`s pants back up and redid them. "You need to sober up, Darylina."  
_

_"Quit callin` me Darylina," Daryl yelled back._

_"Keep your voice down. I`m takin` you back to the motel."_

_*****_

_Once Merle got him cleaned up and down on the bed he stood and just stared at his younger brother who was still awake, but still too drunk to think straight._

_"I might as well put a dress and high heels on you. Do up your hair and paint your nails. A little lipstick and mascara."_

_"Shut up."_

_"You disappoint me, Daryl. You know how I hate faggots. Real perverts. And to think my baby brother is somethin` like that sticks in my crawl. But you`re still my brother." Merle sat down on the other bed. "Tomorrow we`ll go over to the county nurse. I`m gonna make you take an HIV test."_

_"We weren`t doin` nothin`."_

_"Yeah, but this ain`t the only time is it? What about that night two weeks ago? The red-headed kid was bangin` your ass pretty good." Merle sighed. "I`m just lookin` out for your welfare, Daryl. You`re all I got. I`m all you got." Merle pointed at him. "One of these days you`ll have your come to Jesus moment. Just wait and see."  
_

_Daryl could only lay there and weep slightly. Moments later he passed out._

_After going to the county nurse the next day and finding the results negative, it was then he decided to quit, not because he was afraid of getting any disease, it was because he was tired of Merle`s anger and shaming and the beatings from others. He was only twenty-three years old._

Daryl woke up from the dream. His mind was all in a whirl at the incident that happened so long ago in his life. He thought he had buried such feelings forever on that day, never to resurrect them again. But that wasn`t entirely true. He still looked at men, admiring them in secret, keeping such thoughts and feelings to himself. But they never truly left him, only staying at the back of his mind.

       All of the years of hiding his true sexuality were also taking their toll. Mostly it was due to the bigotry and prejudice of the people he had come from; those who lived in the back country who had no sense of the world outside. He remembered in conversations with Whitney, how both of them felt lonely and ashamed about being who they were. Then there was Merle, who hated gays, but had over the years seemed to reluctantly accept it in his own brother. Daryl could be open to no one, except in secret. He still kept to that policy. He could not deny that other gay people had recognized that fact in him almost immediately. Aaron and Eric. Tara. Dr. Denise. He was drawn to men like moth to a flame, making eye contact with those he was attracted to and waiting for the right response that only another gay man could read. The world changed and Daryl had to adapt to it. It was a world he felt more at home in, even when the walkers were presenting the most danger to him. He was thriving and when he thrived he was more open to possibilities. Paul 'Jesus' Rovia was the greatest of possibilities. His heart beat fast, the air was hard to breathe, and his body trembled with desire, more than he had ever felt with anyone before. If this was love he liked it, he could admit that much to himself.

      Daryl could no longer keep that a secret to himself nor to the others. He was in a world now where judgement was almost nonexistent, and if it did exist, no one had the time for it. He hated hiding in the past, hating it even more now. There would be no reason to hide it now. He had to let go of the past, burn it away and give it the middle finger. Maybe even Beth knew about that part of himself back then as well. He wiped away a tear as he thought about that symbolic act. Beth would have told him to be the person he was meant to be. Besides, hiding was for cowards. He had not been a coward with so many other things in his life, perhaps it was time not to be a coward about something that was integral to him as a person. He only knew he couldn`t get Paul 'Jesus' Rovia out of his mind, he was almost constantly thinking about him in the moments of pause. The moments were now racing towards something that were about to come to a head. Everything was falling into place. More of the old ways of thinking were quickly being swept away from Daryl`s sense of reality.

      It was only a matter of time.

                                                                                                                               *****

       _Jesus leaned back and moaned in pleasure as the man he had met at the hospital sucked on his balls and penis. They were in one of the storage rooms where hopefully no one would need any bandages for a while. He realized he was cheating on Jeremy, but it was only a blow job. Working the graveyard shift was taking a toll on the relationship as it had on all of them. Or was it the fact that he didn`t want to get close to anyone and was in it for the sex? Jesus had been closest to Jeremy more than anyone else, but there was something missing that made it unfulfilling. They just didn`t seem to be friends._

_Jesus pulled his companion closer to him, his hands grasping the back of his head. He could feel the orgasm was near and when he came he emitted a long moan, keeping the volume down so no one outside the door could hear._

_"My turn," his companion said and they switched positions. Jesus knelt down and started to suck on the man`s penis when an alarm outside in the hallway went off. "What was that?"_

_Jesus stopped what he was doing and looked at the door. "I`m not sure." He put himself together slightly and opened the door and peered out. Medical staff were running down the hall towards one of the intensive care rooms. There were expressions of alarm and panic on their faces. He closed the door. "I think we better postpone the rest of this. Looks like something serious."_

_His companion pulled his pants back up and the two of them slipped out of the storage room unnoticed._

_"There`s two of them coming this way!"  They heard a voice shout._

_"Where`s that security guard? He has a gun!" another voice screamed._

_"Let`s get out of here," Jesus said. "This same thing happened yesterday on the fourth floor. It was one of the dead come back to life."_

_"You really believe that?"_

_"I`ve seen it up close. In fact, I`ve had to kill a couple already. It`s getting out of hand. Are you with me?" Jesus had had enough. Even though medical staff had been told to stay in place he had no intention of doing that. He wanted out and only to get home. He had weapons at home. Mr. Boyd`s knives and the rifle he had purchased to use on the rifle range. His marksmanship with guns had improved vastly over the past two years since he had taken up the hobby. Any gun--rifle, hand, or assault--he had become quite the expert. Just as much as he had become at martial arts and knife throwing. Now if there was only something in his life he could use such knowledge for. Wasn`t there something about being careful what you wish for?_

_"I`m staying here. They`ll get a handle on it. This is the safest place."_

_Jesus didn`t think so. The hospital was not a military zone and he had heard stories of when the military stepped in, they killed everyone, living or not. He had no intention of that happening to him._

_"Soldiers are here!" a voice shouted._

_"See? They`ll take care of it," his companion said and headed down the hallway. There were sounds of heavy shooting and this was not comforting to Jesus in the least. He quickly ducked back into the storage room and found a place to hide behind some laundry carts. He would stay put and listen for however long he needed to. Then he would find his way out. It was at this point that he realized survival was the rule of the day. And he would stay alive through this incident and survive._

And survive he did. Now it was maybe time to learn to live. Jesus got up to get dressed. He had a long trip to The Kingdom to make, then a visit to a certain cabin in the woods.

                                                                                                                                 *****

       Three days after the dinner with Maggie, Jesus walked through the woods dragging the dolly with baskets loaded with fruits and vegetables and the last of the army rations. A gentle cold crisp wind was blowing through the leafless trees and evergreens. This was always a peaceful time for him to think about things, both past and present, making him philosophical and analytical. Most of the people at Hilltop knew he was gay and paid it no mind, perhaps with the exception of the gossiping Theo. In the time before he had also been more open. He had marched in a couple parades, written letters to leaders, stuffed envelopes--anything to show that he was proud of who he was, confident that he could take anything any bigot wanted to throw at him. There were a couple times he had almost been beaten up, but as soon as his would-be assailants got a taste of his karate, he was able to put them on the run. Jesus was one of those people that looked people in the eye saying 'Take me as I am or just go away'. That was something he didn`t have to worry about anymore since the world fell.

       Jesus didn`t want to hide who he was in this world, either. He wanted to hang on to the sense of pride that came with being a gay man. He had told Maggie he felt like he belonged. There was no or little judgement he had to worry about because the game had changed to that of survival of the fittest. He was in the category of the fittest, which was more than he could ever say to his detractors. For all he knew they got what they deserved if they had turned into walkers. He was also in love, something that he had only felt in a superficial way in the before. He knew he had a challenge ahead of him. He had to believe that Daryl would come around. Daryl had his own obstacles to overcome and from what Jesus could tell there was the possibility that Daryl was slowly ever so slowly knocking those obstacles out of the way and Jesus knew he would be waiting for him when the last one fell. At least he hoped that was the case.

      He could now see the cabin through the trees. If there had been leaves on them, the cabin would have been completely hidden from view. He saw Daryl on the porch stacking some wood and waved to him. No words were spoken as they went inside. It was not because they didn`t have anything to say, it was because nothing was needed to be said. He wheeled the dolly over to the table.

      "They sure know how to insulate this stuff," Jesus said as he unloaded a bushel basket and set it on the table. He handed Daryl at note. "From Carol."

      Daryl took it and read it in silence. It read:  **'Pookie, Here are some cookies with pecans and walnuts. I stole them from squirrels. I know you can handle it if they seek revenge. Love, Carol. P.S. Try not to let the past define you now.'** He looked up and laughed slightly. "She sent some cookies."

      "They`re good. I arrived just as she was taking them out of the oven. You need to send a reply?"

      "Tell her I said thanks."

      He nodded. "I saw a pretty good bank of clouds forming when I was walking here. I think we are going to be in for a pretty good storm in a day or two. It`s certainly getting colder out."

      "I chopped some more wood yesterday so I`m pretty well set. Got a couple depots scouted out." He got up to help Jesus unload the produce from the baskets. "Any trouble from the Saviors?"

      "I think they`ve gone into hiding like everyone else. They don`t demand much in winter because nobody has anything. We may not be under their subjugation anymore, but there are groups out there that are. At least Negan has common sense when it comes to that. The only thing I can figure is they must hoard," Jesus said.

      "Or starve the ones they don`t give a shit about." Daryl closed his eyes, remembering how those who did not directly work for Negan were forced into lesser circumstances; the use of an iron to burn a man`s face.

      "Try not to think about it, Daryl." Jesus came up beside him and grasped Daryl`s arm. "It`ll only make you crazy."

      Daryl`s eyes looked directly into Jesus`s. He moved closer, his hands grasping Jesus by the shoulders. He then pulled away. "I want to send somethin` back to Maggie." He hurried over to the closet, throwing some canvass and other items around, covering up most of the crossbow, and took out a set of mittens made out of rabbit fur. "I made these for her."

       Jesus could sense that the conflict within Daryl was quite strong "She`ll like those," he said taking them from him. "They look warm." He wanted to take Daryl in his arms so much, but he had to remind himself not to push.

      "Finger-less gloves ain`t the way to go this time of year."

      Jesus chuckled. "So, I`ve been telling her." He emptied the last of the bushel baskets and stacked them on the dolly. "I wish I could stay longer, but I have to take these back to The Kingdom before returning to Hilltop. I don`t know when I`ll be back. Now that we have enough supplies, I want to help you with the depots, but the weather isn`t cooperating." He saw a slight look of disappointment on Daryl`s face. "You really don`t like being alone here do you."

      "I got used to people."

      Jesus looked at him, deep concern on his face. Whenever Daryl looked at Jesus, he wasn`t certain if he was breathing or not. He closed his eyes and listened to the beat of his heart. He could feel Jesus looking at him. He wanted so much to look back. Did he dare?

      Jesus knew better than to push. There was even a part of him that was uncertain he wanted to be close, but his feelings were so strong they overcame any reluctance on his part. "I better make tracks." He quickly set the baskets on the dolly and was soon gone. Daryl stood in the open doorway watching him until he disappeared into the trees.

                                                                                                                               *****

       The Kingdom was in a flurry of activity as it prepared for the snowstorm that was to come when Jesus arrived to return the baskets. Carol, who had been helping to weatherize some windows, waved him down before he headed back towards the gate to leave.

       "Did he like the cookies?" she asked.

       "I don`t think he had a chance to try them before I left. He said to tell you thanks."

       She shivered and rubbed her arms. "I hope he`s going to be okay with this storm coming. I know he can take care of himself."

       "But you still worry about him." Jesus`s tone was soft, his expression one of concern.

       "Jesus, what is it? Tell me." Carol had warmed up to Jesus, almost in the same way she had warmed up to Daryl. She could also see that there was pain in his eyes as well.

       "He doesn`t like being alone out there. I can`t blame him."

       "He should have stayed here. I understand winters are quite harsh here, but sometimes he takes the idiot`s way of thinking." She shook her head and laughed slightly.

       "I plan on going back after the snow clears up a bit from the storm so I can help him with the depots. You`re welcome to come with me." Jesus stacked the bushel baskets next to the others and leaned the dolly against the wall.

       "I might take you up on it." She couldn`t help notice how sad and disappointed he seemed. "Jesus, is there something else?" 

       "Just the feeling that I`m tilting at a windmill." He sighed, not wanting to discuss it any further. "I better get back to Hilltop before it gets dark." He turned to head for the gate.

       Carol followed him and stopped him. "Hey. Tell me."

       Jesus closed his eyes trying to blink back tears "I`m in love with him, Carol. I can no longer deny that fact to myself. Now, please, just let me go home."

       Jesus broke away from her and headed out the gate. She watched him until it closed and wiped away a few tears. They were for both him and Daryl.

                                                                                                                               *****

       Jesus knew he wouldn`t get back to Hilltop until a couple hours after sunset since he was on foot. His thoughts drifted to when Negan paid them one of his visits. It was an early night visit almost two years ago before the onset of winter...

        _Bright lights and loud motors were at the front gate indicating that trouble had arrived._

_"I saw their lights from the top floor of the house," Gregory said to Jesus, who was still his most trusted aide at the time. "You better put on a good show."_

_"What`s that supposed to mean?" Jesus asked confused._

_"Just don`t make waves and stay out of trouble." Gregory gave him a meaningful look that Jesus could only interpret to mean he was to keep a low profile. Perhaps Gregory was just trying to keep him around instead of the Saviors taking him prisoner._

_"Yoo hoo, yoo hoo, yodel-lee-ole-lady-who!" the expected familiar voice called from the other side of he gate. "Don`t be a dick and open the fucking gate, Gregory!"_

_Gregory paced for a minute then signaled for the sentries to open the gate. Negan, followed by two vehicles, strolled in swinging Lucille back and forth, whistling some random notes._

_"Negan! Long time no see," Gregory said in a semi-pleasant tone._

_"Ah, ain`t that a fucking shame. Today is your lucky day." Negan placed the end of Lucille on the ground and leaned on her. "I need to talk to you about your loyalty to me, Gregory."_

_"Loyalty? Haven`t we always met our obligations?"_

_"Yes, you have. I need to ask you this. By any fucking chance are you hiding anyone here?" Negan got up in Gregory`s face._

_"Hiding? Who would we be hiding?" Gregory was confused by the question. He backed away slightly._

_"Sometimes we have the problem of a runaway. This one`s pretty important. One of my top men, goes by the name of Mark. He`s supposed to be the top sentry at my gate and he`s come up missing. Which makes him a fugitive in my goddamn book." Negan swayed Lucille back and forth._

_"He`s not here. No one like that has show up here," Gregory said telling the truth._

_"You know, for some fucking reason I thought you`d say that." He signaled to the other Saviors. "You know what to do, boys." They fanned out to search the place. "And like I said today is your goddamn fuckity fuck lucky day. I won`t be taking anything."_

_"That`s very generous of you, Negan," Gregory groveled._

_"I need to keep all of my providers alive. I see it like this. Winter`s going to be a bitch this year. I couldn`t exactly reference the goddamn 'Farmer`s Almanac'  because it doesn`t exist anymore. But the fuzz is fucking fuzzy on the fuzzy wuzzy caterpillars, know what I mean?" Negan grinned, obviously enjoying his own jesting manner, even if Gregory wouldn`t._

_"That`s kind of funny in its own way," Gregory said unsure if to laugh or not._

_"Get out of my fucking sight. I want to look over the place. Make sure you`re not hiding anything else from me." Negan stared down Gregory just to make him more nervous and was delighted in that the tactic was working._

_Gregory glanced at Jesus who just ignored him. "Yes, of course." He hustled towards Barrington House and went inside._

_Negan noticed Jesus glaring at him."See something you like, sweetie pie?" He asked provocatively wiggling his eyebrows. He took Lucille and placed it on his shoulder and posed. "All the pretty boys are taken, Jesus. Now how would I know that little secret about you? I like fucking girls."_ _Jesus said nothing and calmly decided to follow Gregory towards the house. "You aren`t afraid of me are you, Jesus?"  he shouted then laughed._

_When Jesus closed the front door, Gregory motioned him into his office and closed the doors. "Have you been seen by his scouts? You know anything about this fugitive?"_

_"No to both questions," Jesus said._

_Gregory seemed to relax. "Out of anyone I have never questioned your loyalty to me, Jesus. You are loyal to me aren`t you?"_

_"Yes."_

_"I hope you`re never seen going to The Kingdom. He has scouts everywhere. You can`t elude them forever." The apparent fear in Gregory`s voice was always a warning signal to Jesus that he would always be dealing with a coward._

_"King Ezekiel can take care of his own." The fact that he alone had been privy to the secret that The Kingdom paid homage to the Saviors was assurance of that. He had no intention of telling Gregory. Ever._

_"I`ll need you to go scavenging tomorrow. It`s going to start snowing soon and we`ll need more. Unless you plan on being with that boyfriend again." Gregory knew about Jesus the first time he saw him take one of the other men into his trailer for a one-night stand._

_"That`s none of your damn business."_

_"As long as you know what we`re up against, and know the score." He pointed his finger at Jesus.  
_

_Jesus wasn`t sure what Gregory meant. "Look, if there`s nothing else, I`m tired." Gregory indicated that he could leave, which he did slamming the door behind him._

_Negan was standing in the yard and watched as Jesus crossed it. "What`s the hurry?" Jesus didn`t stop. "I asked you a question, fucking fairy lamb of Jehovah," Negan shouted not thrilled that Jesus had the nerve to ignore him._

_Jesus stopped. "I have to take a piss."_

_"Now that`s an invitation I simply cannot fucking resist." It was then Jesus realized he had just said the wrong thing. He now had to play it out, think quickly and cleverly as to how to get out of the touchy situation he now found himself in. Negan motioned to a few nearby Saviors. "Get him on his knees." Jesus knew better than to fight the Saviors off. He had to wait for his moment. He glanced at the window to Gregory`s office and saw Gregory watching the entire spectacle with a cowardly look on his face. Negan leaned down, Lucille propped on his shoulder. "Pissing our pants now?" he enunciated.  
_

_Jesus casually looked down at his trousers. "No," he said evenly._

_"Maybe some man-on-man freaky deaky is in order. You`re on your knees. Maybe you`d like to suck my fucking dick." Negan rubbed the front of his pants then grabbed the back of Jesus`s hair and shoved him hard against his crotch. "Come on, blow me some fucking job baby!"_

_The Savior that had shoved him down had backed off to join the others. "I thought you liked girls," Jesus said in a muffled voice, his mouth buried in Negan`s crotch. He grimaced in pain as Negan pulled his hair._

_"Now I like that fucking kind of spirit. Lucille just loves those with a sense of humor about such things." There were titters of laughter from the other Saviors. "Maybe she can brush that soft pretty long hair of yours." He lightly brushed Lucille through Jesus`s hair then pressed the bat right against his temple. "Too bad you ain`t a girl." Negan threw him to the ground. "Get out of here. I`m sure we`ll meet again someday under worse circumstances."_

_Jesus could feel blood trickle down onto his face. Lucille had obviously scratched his forehead with some deep cuts. He got up and brushed himself off then went over to the medical trailer to have Dr. Carson patch him up._

The memory faded when Jesus saw the walls of Hilltop loom before him. He signaled to the back gate sentry to let him in when he suddenly heard voices.

      "That Hilltop, Wade? Are you sure they won`t see us sneak inside?"

      Jesus remembered that Wade was one of Negan`s top Saviors. He tossed the sentry the gloves that Daryl had made for Maggie. "Give those to Maggie! From Daryl!" He signaled to the sentry that he would try to lead them away. "Over here!" Jesus yelled and made sure they shown their lights on him. As soon as that happened he broke into a dead run back into the woods. Wade and the other Saviors followed in hot pursuit. 

      Jesus ran feeling his way, stumbling in the darkness as trees and brush scraped across his face, the scratches becoming more painful as the cold air hit them. He could hear the Saviors behind him, but since he was quick on his feet, they were soon lost in the trees. He ran far and fast until he saw no sign of them. They must have given up due to the cold and darkness. Jesus could feel the soft touch of snowflakes strike his face. He ran some more until he thought he was far enough away before stopping to catch his breath. He wasn`t certain if he could get his bearings in the dark and couldn`t wait until morning because it was freezing out and he was shivering. His eyes were adjusted to the darkness so the first thing was to determine if he could find a familiar natural landmark. There. The two fallen trees that formed a huge 'X'. Now Jesus knew where he had to go.

                                                                                                                               *****

       Jesus could feel his feet starting to get numb as the snow was coming down heavy and the wind had begun to pick up, the predicted blizzard was just getting started. He was never happier to see the cabin then at that moment. He knocked until he heard the soft shuffle of bare feet on the other side. "It`s Jesus, Daryl."

      Daryl opened the door and quickly motioned for him to come inside before bolting the door behind him. He turned up the light on the lantern and noticed Jesus`s face. "What happened?"

      "Some Saviors tried to sneak into Hilltop." Jesus flopped down on the leather sofa. "I lured them away. I fell into some bushes and scraped my forehead pretty deep."

      "You`re still bleedin`," Daryl said.

      "I had to find my way here in the dark." He shivered. "And I`m so cold."

      "I`ll get you fixed up and warm," Daryl said, the look of concern on his face was plain. He brought over some clean rags, a bottle of alcohol, and a pan of warm water.

      Jesus let Daryl clean his face as he winced with the touch of the alcohol. "I didn`t know where else to go. The last thing I wanted to do is lure them to Hilltop." His emotions were a bit frazzled and he was tired from all of the running in the woods.

      "You can stay here as long as you like. I ain`t gonna kick you out unless you break my crossbow in half or somethin`." He handed Jesus a damp cloth to hold to his head.

      The warm cloth felt good on his forehead as he put on the pressure. He knew he had just been witness to one of Daryl`s subtle jokes, so he smiled. "Are you sure it`s really a good idea?"

       "This blizzard is gonna get worse. Even the squirrels and possums are hidin`."

       Jesus was taken aback somewhat by the statement, then burst into laughter. He didn`t understand why he found Daryl`s redneck approach to life so endearing, but he loved it all the same. Just as much as he loved the man himself. Daryl looked at him wondering what he had said that was so funny.

                                                                                                                               *****

       The blizzard was in full force, snow blowing, wind howling, and a complete whiteout by the time daylight arrived. A bandaged Jesus lay on the sofa huddled in a warm blanket as he heard Daryl stirring in the kitchen area. The aroma of coffee filled the cabin as it brewed on the stove. A welcoming fire was burning brightly in the fireplace.

       "Umm, coffee. Good thing I found that cache of coffee beans in that abandoned country club a couple months ago," Jesus said as he opened his eyes, yawning. Ms. Maitlin had a grinder so everyone at Hilltop could enjoy the beverage. Being the motherly type, she adopted Daryl as much as she did the other residents. It was only natural that she sent him some coffee along with the pies.

       "At least it`s not that fancy shit," Daryl said. He put a few slices of toast on a griddle and proceeded to make French toast.

       "Now all we need is some bacon and orange juice." Jesus sat up and wrapped the blanket around him.

       "Biscuits and sausage gravy," Daryl said lightly.

       "Sausage McGriddles."

       "Frosted Pop Tarts."

        Jesus burst into laughter. "Pop Tarts! Haven`t thought of those in a long time." There were so many things he thought he would never miss, until they were gone for good. "Just no oatmeal. I`m sick of oatmeal." Jesus wrinkled his nose.

       "Yeah, that part`s no better in Alexandria." The coffee was brewed and he brought over two mugs and set them on the tree stump. Moments later the French toast was ready and Daryl brought that over too. "Scoot over."

        Jesus did so and let Daryl sit beside him. "The resident manager of the group home always told me a big breakfast is what you need to start the day. I haven`t been able to follow that advice for years," Jesus said as he hungrily looked at the food.

       "Save room for later. You`ll get venison."

       "I saw the deer. You use the spear or crossbow?"

       "Spear. Got it on the first try."

       "Show-off."

       "Don`t you call me a show-off. You`re always showin` off your damn Kung Fu fightin`."

       "It`s karate and taekwondo. And some other martial arts."

       "Whatever." Daryl seemed to be in a playful mood that morning.

       Jesus picked up the pillow that had been put on the floor. "Don`t you 'whatever' me, asshole." He playfully threw it at Daryl who put down his mug of coffee just in time.

       "What are you tryin` to do? Burn me? This coffee is hot," Daryl said a bit crossly.

       "You put it down in time so you`re fine. Nothing`s wrong with your reflexes," was the cool reply.

       Daryl picked up the thrown pillow and threw it back at Jesus. "Prick."

       "I consider that a term of endearment," Jesus said leaning towards him slightly. Daryl sat there in silence, his breath steady and his heart beating rapidly. He slowly turned to look at Jesus who was smiling sweetly at him. "I thought you weren`t afraid of anything," Jesus whispered.

       In the silence were the sounds of the tempestuous blizzard mixed with the crackle of the fire in the fireplace; the cold being kept at bay with the warmth of a sturdy shelter. Daryl felt a strong flush of desire move through him. "I ain`t afraid. I`m just not sure if I`m ready."

       "How do you know if you aren`t ready if you don`t even try? I notice the way you sometimes look at me. Is it wrong to say that I love you, Daryl Dixon?"

       Daryl swallowed hard, unable to meet Jesus`s eyes. "Yeah, I know."

       "Even if you fail at least you know you tried. Maybe you--we should think in terms of failure not being an option." Jesus knew he was dealing with someone who was insecure because he was insecure himself. But Maggie`s words were always encouraging him and he knew he had to at least try.

       Daryl picked up his mug of coffee and slowly drank in silence, trying to avoid looking at Jesus, his hand trembling slightly. "Is it okay if I call you Paul?" He knew he needed to cross over that threshold. What was it that Carol said about finding some peace of mind?

       "Sure. I like it better anyway." Just how long was Daryl going to hold back? Jesus felt that Daryl was on the cusp. If he knew how Daryl felt, he would know that he was right. They ate their breakfast in silence.

                                                                                                                                *****

       After two days of blizzard conditions the snow had piled up in drifts around the small cabin engulfing it in a white shroud, so they had to spend most of that time digging themselves out. Daryl had to shovel paths to the shed and to the outhouse. Jesus helped with keeping the snow off of the porch and away from the firewood.

       "I`ve never seen this much in my whole life," Daryl said as they now stood on the porch. The snow was mostly light flurries by the time evening rolled around.

       "One good thing about this weather. The walkers freeze," Jesus said. "Walkers in a winter wonderland. Notice how no one really celebrates Christmas anymore?"

       "You mean your birthday," Daryl said laughing slightly.

       "That`s not funny."

       "I thought it was." Daryl pulled out the cigarette pack and lit up. "Christmas never meant shit to Merle and me. No damn Santa Claus. Nothin`. All the other kids would be runnin` around with their toys, their games. All we got was the strap."

       Jesus got somber. "I`m sorry, Daryl."

       "Yeah." Daryl shrugged. "Guess I didn`t miss much. But as a kid it sure felt like a lot."

       "My wonderfully dysfunctional group home peeps did the whole Christmas thing. Decorations, presents from Santa, Christmas dinner--trying to create this 'family' thing where none really existed. The worst part was the charity gifts from donors--rejected or used toys, clothing. I just went into the basement and practiced my martial arts moves. The older I got, the more I hated that place." When he said that Daryl gazed at him with a deep look of sadness. He had heard of such places and if not for Merle, probably would have wound up in one himself. "And you`re right. You didn`t miss a thing."

       "Come on, let`s get these drifts in front shoveled back a bit before it gets dark," Daryl said putting the cigarette in his mouth.

       Jesus went to the right and Daryl to the left. The snow was a mix of dry and powdery on top, wet and sticky on the bottom. There was a concrete sidewalk that led to the front door, most of it overgrown or broken into fragments. A thin sheet of ice had formed on the surface of one of the fragments and Jesus stepped on it and slipped falling into the nearby snowbank, which was a four foot drift.

      At the sound Daryl turned around. "What the hell are you doin`?"

      "Learning to ice skate. What else?"

      "Shit. Get up off your ass," Daryl snapped.

      "Yes sir, boss, right away. You growl more than Shiva." Jesus emitted a snort and saluted, then stood up, brushing the snow off his coat and pants. The wet sticky snow was the hardest to get off. Under his breath he swore at the snow, then he swore at Daryl. Daryl was hard at work loosening the snow, bending over to brush it off of the shovel. A twinkle came into Jesus`s eye as he thought of a way to get back at Daryl. He grasped some of the wet snow and formed it into a ball and threw it hard at Daryl hitting him square in the ass.

       "Son-of-a-bitch," Daryl said turning around. He grew irritated as he threw the shovel aside. He took the cigarette out of his mouth. "What the hell was that for?"

       "Gotcha didn`t I, asshole." Jesus stood there like a smart-ass and laughed.

       "Prick." Daryl threw the cigarette aside and reached down and wadded up some of he wet snow. "I`ll show you a fuckin` snowball." He crushed it up tight then threw it hard at Jesus, who was almost knocked back into the snowdrift.

       "Are you sure you never pitched in the Majors before the walkers?" Jesus gathered up some of the dry flaky snow in his shovel and like throwing confetti, drenched Daryl with it.

       "Dammit, some of that went down the back of my shirt!" Daryl tried to reach down his back.

       "That`s what you get for not putting on your hood," Jesus playfully taunted.

       Gathering his nerve and taking a deep breath, Daryl planned his next move. In seconds he was on top of Jesus and both of them collapsed into the snow drift. Jesus quickly rolled him around and they wrestled for a few seconds, snow flying in every direction. Daryl pinned him down, took a handful of snow and rubbed it in Jesus`s face. Jesus spat and shook his head. Now it was time for him to show Daryl one of the basic martial arts moves of taking advantage of a larger opponent. He pushed with his legs and flipped Daryl over, so fast and so quick, he took Daryl by surprise.

       "Get off of me," Daryl said as Jesus straddled him pinning him to the ground. He tried to throw him off, but Jesus had pinned him down hard.

       "Cold enough for you yet?" Daryl didn`t reply but tried to wriggle free of Jesus. Jesus reached down and gently wiped snow off of Daryl`s face, brushing aside his hair in the process. Daryl resisted less and less, his breathing slowing down and becoming steady. Jesus`s face was so close he was trembling slightly, the closeness he longed for suddenly upon him.

       "Prick," Daryl said almost inaudibly. His face was cold, but he could feel his heart beating fast and strong. When a warmth touched his lips he closed his eyes. He could feel his resistance waning fast. Daryl`s arms slowly went around Jesus and pulled him closer as the kiss got more demanding and deep. The intensity of the excitement that Daryl felt was such an unusual slight thrill of ecstasy, that it was somewhat alien to him.

       Jesus stopped and looked deeply into his eyes. "Don`t you think we should continue this inside? I`m freezing my ass out here."

       Daryl held Jesus in a tight embrace. "Yeah," he said softly. "Me too."

       Jesus got up and helped pull Daryl to a standing position. They both quickly wiped the snow off of their clothes, stomped their boots and went inside. The shovels were left askew in the drifts as if walkers had decided to shovel the snow instead of people.

        _'When it happens it will happen so fast the barriers will come down and there will be no point of return.'_ Maggie`s words echoed in Jesus`s mind.

       Once inside they quickly removed their coats, hats, and gloves throwing them on the floor. Daryl went over to the fireplace and threw a couple more logs on the low fire. He turned around and met Jesus`s gaze, never taking his eyes away as he untied his boots and removed them. Jesus sat down on the sofa and removed his boots, his gaze unwavering as he watched Daryl slowly move towards him. Daryl`s arms wrapped around Jesus and lowered him deep into the cushions. They were soon kissing and necking, their bodies undulating with the frantic lovemaking, their tongues and lips exploring every crevice. Jesus emitted a moan of joy when Daryl playfully nibbled on his ear.

       "You don`t know how much of a turn on that is," Jesus said breathlessly. He licked Daryl`s face and kissed his nose until their lips met again, their tongues going deep. They both could feel the stirrings in their loins as their bodies rubbed against each other, exploring and entwining as one entity. Jesus unbuttoned Daryl`s outer shirt and slipped his hands beneath it. Daryl stopped long enough to remove it and toss it aside. Then Daryl slowly unzipped Jesus`s insulated vest and playfully kissed down his bare neck, the soft hairs of Jesus`s beard tickling his nose and causing him to sniff. Jesus laughed and ran his fingers through Daryl`s hair. They sat up and Jesus removed his vest, both of them now in t-shirts. Jesus reached over and ran his hands along Daryl`s muscular arms. Daryl could feel goosebumps where his fingers touched. He gathered Jesus close to him just wanting the warmth he felt inside to engulf him.

       "Don`t stop," Jesus whispered.

       "Are you sure you want to go further?" Daryl asked softly.

      Jesus nodded his head. "Unless you think we`re moving too fast."

      Daryl shook his head. "We`ve wasted enough time already." He was breathless as he wrapped Jesus in his arms and their lips, wet and eager met again. Jesus`s hands reached beneath Daryl`s t-shirt and massaged his chest, admiring the ridges of strength from his hard muscles. How he had longed to touch them and the thrill of the wish being granted went beyond expectations. Daryl`s hands moved up and down Jesus`s back as he kissed the nape of his neck, causing Jesus to arch is back as waves of pleasure moved through him. Daryl slipped off Jesus`s t-shirt then slowly moved his hands and reached down to undo the fly of Jesus`s pants. He could see the bulge of his manhood beneath the briefs.

      "You still manage to wear underwear?" Daryl asked, laughing slightly.

      "Yeah, it`s a habit. I can probably do away with it after this."

      Daryl reached beneath the briefs and squeezed Jesus`s butt cheeks. Jesus let out a moan of pleasure and snaked his hands to lift Daryl`s t-shirt off. He could see that Daryl had more tattoos on his chest, one above his heart and some smaller ones on his chest and neck. He also noticed more of the long brown scars.

      Jesus stopped for a moment. "Someone hurt you didn`t they."

      Daryl nodded, but he didn`t want to think about the pain of the past. He leaned over and kissed around Jesus`s neck and chest. Jesus ran his hands all over Daryl`s torso until he reached the front of Daryl`s pants and undid the fly. Daryl then stood up and removed his pants, obviously not wearing underwear. His semi-erect cock was throbbing and inviting.

      "It`s been a long time for both of us hasn`t it," Jesus said. Daryl nodded. Jesus could barely take his eyes off of Daryl. Jesus stood up and quickly removed the rest of his clothes. Daryl reached over and lightly ran his finger up and down Jesus`s cock then lightly squeezed his balls, causing Jesus to sigh with exhilaration, the boner he was now experiencing was something he had never felt with previous boyfriends. They both stood naked and hard, playing with each other and knowing what was coming was happening fast.

      "Maybe we better get on the bed," Jesus said between deep breaths.

      "Yeah," Daryl said and they embraced, practically stumbling because they didn`t want to let go of each other, they fell on the bed as their lovemaking intensified, their bodies rubbing as they kissed, squeezed, and explored in a slow frottage. They were both hot and sweating, their cocks becoming harder the more they rubbed.

      "I`ve wanted you for so long. I didn`t know I was actually falling in love with you," Jesus said between panting breaths. He hands moved all over Daryl`s body feeling and squeezing buttocks. Even though Daryl was bigger and taller than Jesus, he didn`t feel intimidated by it. They rolled around their bodies moving rhythmically as the earnestness of their feelings became deeper. Daryl`s hand massaged Jesus`s much smaller body, muscular in its own way, honed lean and athletic from the years of martial arts training.

      "Glad I didn`t leave you in a tree," Daryl said panting heavily. He kissed down Jesus`s body until he reached his fully erect penis and took it into his mouth, causing Jesus to squeal with delight as he trembled. When Jesus came he pumped his semen deep down Daryl`s throat, the throbbing and sucking almost too much to bear. They quickly switched positions and Jesus let Daryl`s cock slide down easily into his throat, as he fervently enjoyed giving head, his tongue playing up and down the shaft. Daryl came emitting a long deep sigh, Jesus allowing the salty taste to flood his mouth. They both collapsed on the bed, kissing hard, tasting each other`s semen that still lingered in their mouths.

      "Want to do it again?" Daryl had never been more turned on by another man so much before. He had suppressed so many feelings over the long years. Whitney had been a wake-up call but Jesus was the fulfillment. He knew he had fallen in love, real love, probably for the first time in his life.

      "Definitely," Jesus said. They necked for a few seconds and he felt Daryl give him a hickey. "You naughty boy."

      "All that beard and hair will hide it," Daryl said. They kissed, their tongues entwining and going deep. "You taste so sweet."

      "Shut up and fuck me some more," Jesus said. "And let`s get under the covers." He slid under the blankets and sheets and propped his head up with one arm, holding the blanket up with the other. "Better hurry. I`m taking requests," he said as he licked his lips seductively. Daryl stood there his hands on his hips, smiling slightly. He closed his eyes and opened them again to make sure all that was happening was real. He eagerly joined Jesus in the bed where the blankets made them feel more intimate. This phase of their lovemaking would go more slowly as feelings of arousal would leisurely have their way with them, the love they both felt for each other now strengthening into something more tangible.

                                                                                                                               *****

      After making love again they huddled under the warmth of the covers. For Daryl it was realizing that what he had thought was driven out of him had never left him. For Jesus it was feeling that this closeness he had longed for was just the beginning of something more wonderful than he thought possible.

      "Damn, you are so hot," Jesus said as he cuddled next to Daryl placing his head on his chest.

      "And you`re one sexy beast," Daryl said as he ran his fingers through Jesus`s long silky hair.

      "Your tattoos say it all. You do have the devil in you," Jesus laughed lustily. "I also love the snake on your leg. The serpent of temptation."

      "And you`re supposed to cast out demons, right?" Daryl pulled Jesus closer to him.

      "Not this time. I love the devil in you. And I am now fallen." They kissed longingly. Jesus became serious for a moment. "Daryl, all of those lines, those scars on your body--."

      Daryl looked directly into Jesus`s eyes. "It`s where my old man used to beat me. I guess he tried to beat the devil out of me. He hated the fact that I liked other men. And for other things."

      "You can`t help how you`re born, Daryl. You can learn to be proud of who you are. Did you ever have a boyfriend when you were young?" He gently stroked Daryl`s face and hair.

      "When I was sixteen I was really into this guy. Man, he was sweet. One day Merle caught us kissin` behind a barn. My brother went into a rage, kept callin` me Darylina, shit like that. I was always more cautious after that. Several years later I just quit one day, feelin` unnatural, ashamed, feelin` even filthy at times."

       "Ah, but you are filthy at times," Jesus said as he bit his lower lip, his eyes sparkling.

       "Yeah, right." Jesus didn`t know it at the time, but his good humor was affecting him. Daryl snaked his arm around Jesus`s shoulders. "Let`s get some sleep. Shovelin` snow takes it out of me."

       "Yeah, me too." Jesus sighed with contentment enjoying the embrace of Daryl`s strong arms.

                                                                                                                               *****

       The chill of the cabin permeated the air as the embers in the fireplace glowed low. Only the sounds of the wind and night creatures could be heard outside. 

        _It was the steady sound of boots walking on the hard wood floor that woke Daryl up. He looked around but couldn`t see who it was. Had somebody sneaked into the cabin? He rolled his head and Jesus was still fast asleep beside him, nestled close and intimate. Figuring it had been his imagination he closed his eyes to see if he could get back to sleep._

_"Heh-heh-heh-heh," came the sound of an ironic laugh. "Jee-zuz Christ, Darylina."_

_Daryl opened his eyes. His brother Merle stared down at him, a smirk on his face. "Merle, what the hell are you doin` here?" he asked quietly._

_"Well, look at you now, little brother." Merle nodded his head towards Jesus and sighed._

_"I ain`t hidin` no more," Daryl said._

_"I always noticed you lookin` at all the boys even after you said you gave it all up. Never did approve, but I guess I did accept it somewhat." Merle shook his head. "Still, the day I learned my little brother was a poof-assed fairy-boy, I knew I had to make you a tough son-of-a-bitch."_

_Daryl sat up in bed not disturbing Jesus. "What makes you think I ain`t tough no more?"_

_Merle shrugged. Daryl now found himself and Merle talking beside a favorite fishing lake. It was summer and there were other fishermen and swimmers nearby. He was no longer in bed, but fully dressed. His crossbow leaned against a tree. "Remember this day?"_

_Daryl remembered. He was many years younger, way before the walkers. A young man came over to him and sat down beside him. He put his arm around Daryl, and smiled sweetly giving him a kiss on the lips. "Want to go for a swim?"_

_"Not really," Daryl replied._

_"Want me--to do--this?" His hands reached down into Daryl`s pants then he unzipped the fly and went down on him._

_"Watched it all from the bushes," Merle said. "My baby brother gettin` a blow job from that kid Alan then turnin` around and doin` the same to him, enjoyin` every minute of it."_

_"Why didn`t you say somethin`?" Daryl asked as he moaned reliving the experience._

_"What was there to say?" Merle knelt down. They were now sitting in a boat. "I used to beat the shit out of anyone I thought was a goddamn faggot."_

_"Yeah, I know. You never beat me up. Why?" Daryl hugged himself, unsure he wanted to know the answer to that question._

_Merle bowed his head, his eyes looking up at Daryl. "Because you were my brother. I knew how our old man tried to 'straighten' you out. Lockin` you in a closet with my titty magazines, payin` two-bit tarts to come to your room." He paused. "You ever in-and-out screw yourself any pussy with those hussies, Daryl?" He lewdly licked his lips as he now lounged in the boat._

_"No. They knew I wasn`t goin` to go for it." Daryl looked over the side of the boat and found himself in the bedroom of his father`s house. As he sat on the edge of the bed, a scantily clad woman lay on top of the covers beside him. "We just talked."_

_The woman sat up and it was Beth. She gave him an understanding hug. "It`s alright, Daryl," she said. "I understood we could only be friends. But you must be what you are born to be."_

_"It`s hard having a  heart of gold." Carol was on the other side of the room, dressed in black sexy leather and stilettos, a whip in her hand. Her leg was propped up on the window sill as she casually smoked a cigarette. "And it was always appreciated. You have to be true to yourself now."  
_

_"I told him that. I told him you wouldn`t go for it. I guess he died just in time," Merle said. "Then it was just you and me."_

_Daryl stood up as Beth grasped his hand and he slowly let go as Beth and Carol disappeared. He found himself in Atlanta on a seedy street next to a wall covered in graffiti, neon lights flashing into the night. Jesus stood next to him. Daryl wore a black leather motorcycle jacket and jeans. The sound of traffic and somewhere a boom box playing "Who`s Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses?' by U2 could be heard. Above them was the sound of helicopters._

_"Hey!" Jesus said signaling to a man passing on the sidewalk. "How about a blow job, mister?" There were a couple of blips of a police siren as a law enforcement van drove up. "Ah, shit. Here we go again."_

_The two officers got out of the van._

_"Look at that, Rick. Some people never learn," Shane said. Both of them were in uniform. Rick came up to Jesus, who casually let himself be cuffed. Shane came up to Daryl, cuffs ready, but Daryl tried to fight him off. With a few punches and kicks he knocked Daryl to the ground. "Now you got the charge of resisting arrest and assaulting a police officer, asshole," Shane said as he cuffed him._

_"How many times do we have to tell you two to stop hustling on this street?" Rick said as he roughly handled Jesus and threw him in the back of the police van. He grabbed Daryl, whose nose was bleeding, and tossed him in beside Jesus. "You`re a worthless piece of shit, Dixon."_

_"Why don`t you save yourself, Jesus," Shane said as he slammed the door of the van shut._

_"Yeah, who knew how you would have ended up if ole Merle hadn`t taken you under his wing," Merle said as they now stood in an open meadow, the trees turning into autumn colors. "You gave it all up one day. Why?"_

_Daryl grabbed Merle by the shirt. "I couldn`t stand you callin` me 'Darylina' anymore. Or gettin` beaten up by thugs. You always tellin` me to kick off the high heels and get off my ass and be a man. Well, I am a man!" Daryl shouted. "I`m also tougher than you because I`m still alive! And you`re dead. Get it? You`re dead!" He shoved Merle to the ground. They were now at a series of abandoned buildings. Daryl recognized the place immediately. The place where he had last seen Merle. Found him dead and..._

_Merle only sat there and laughed, his appearance changing into that of a walker. "And I did make you tough, little brother. But I never could fully get rid of Darylina could I?" He stood up and staggered towards Daryl, his mouth moving up and down ready to bite. He grabbed Daryl`s arm..._

And Daryl woke up with a start. He was lying in bed in the cabin. Jesus was still asleep beside him, snuggled deep in his arms. "Merle?" Daryl called out softly.

       The only answer he got was the sound of the wind outside blowing the loose snow through the surrounding woods.

                                                                                                                               *****

**Chapter 3**

       When Jesus awoke the next morning he noticed that Daryl was still asleep, wearing a peaceful look he rarely saw when Daryl was awake. His hand lightly stroked Daryl`s face and he was suddenly surprised when his hand was licked and kissed. Daryl slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Jesus, who smiled and softly whispered. "Good morning, sunshine."

       "I`m so hopin` last night wasn`t a dream," Daryl softly said.

       "It was real," Jesus said. "For both of us." He laid down next to Daryl snuggling close. "Finish shoveling snow today?"

       Daryl scoffed. "That shit won`t melt fast enough for me. One of them damn icicles on the outhouse came down and almost killed me yesterday."

       "Maybe they`ll work just as well on walkers."

       Daryl climbed out of the bed and noticed how chilly the cabin was, especially since he was still naked. Jesus came up behind him and put his arms around him enclosing him inside the blanket. Daryl turned around and they kissed. "I better get that fire goin` again." They parted and Jesus smiled as he watched a naked Daryl build a fire in the fireplace. He knew the fire had been lit between them.

       "Any plans for today?" Jesus asked.

       "If I don`t do some huntin` we won`t eat," Daryl said softly.

       "Yeah, I guess that is a good idea, isn`t it? Need any help?" Jesus knew he couldn`t turn back to his old way of thinking. He and Daryl were moving closer with each moment and the warmth he felt from that was something he knew he didn`t want to give up.

       "Nah, I`ll be alright." Daryl finished with the fire and came back over to Jesus. They kissed, not wanting to stop touching each other.

       "Maybe I`ll get dressed and do the hausfrau routine around here," Jesus said. He wrapped Daryl up in the blanket again and they just stood there in a tight embrace.

      Daryl knew there would be no point of return. He had never felt so loved by anyone in his entire life. After a lifetime of never finding it when he needed it the most, he knew turning away would be the greatest mistake of his life. As for Jesus he never fully understood until that moment why he didn`t want to get close to anyone. This was a love of a soul for another soul. Perhaps this is what they both had been waiting for, the time and place being just right. The world outside may have gone to hell, but in that moment neither of them cared.

                                                                                                                               *****

       After traipsing through what seemed like endless snow drifts and icy puddles, Daryl finally came upon some wild turkeys sitting under a tree near a duck blind that must have been used by the original occupant of the cabin. Using the crossbow he would have one of those turkeys in no time. Ever since he left the cabin his thoughts had been dominated by what had happened between him and Jesus. For the first time he felt that what had occurred was right. He was in love and it wasn`t just a superficial love, it was a deep and penetrating love that encompassed every fiber of is being. Daryl was so lost in these thoughts and feelings that he forgot about the turkeys for a moment and almost missed hearing the sound of voices. He quickly hid in the duck blind. Two men with hunting rifles approached the turkeys and the tree from the opposite direction.

       "Why are we out here freezing our asses off? I know I heard those turkeys from somewhere."

       "I told you, dumbass, they are under that tree over there."

       A couple of the turkeys gobbled.

       "There they are." The two men aimed their guns and shot towards the tree, gunning down three of the turkeys as the others scattered in different directions. Daryl huddled deeper into his hiding place. Should he remain cautious and stay hidden?

       "Negan will love this. You know how he likes his meat."

       "Just put them in the bag, dumbass, and let`s go home. I`m freezing my shit out here."

       So they were Saviors. Daryl knew he had to take them out quietly and quickly. He set the crossbow aside and burst out of the duck blind and knifed the nearest one. The other raised his gun to fire, but Daryl grabbed it and wrested it from his grip. He beat the other Savior with the gun until he was unconscious. Then he plunged the knife into the Savior`s head. Panting, he confiscated the guns and went over to the dead turkeys. He picked up the best one and slung it over his shoulder. Recovering his crossbow from the duck blind he slowly made his way back to the cabin.

                                                                                                                               *****

       Jesus had just finished doing the dishes when Daryl came rushing in, slamming the door. He peered out the window to make sure no one had followed him. He dropped his crossbow and took his knife and stabbed it hard into the table. He paced back and forth slamming his fists into each other. Jesus knew immediately that something unusual must have happened, and he was afraid of just how serious it was.

      "Daryl? What is it?" Jesus asked cautiously. "What happened? Did you see someone?"

      "Yeah, I saw someone alright. Saviors. I killed them." Daryl sat down.

       Jesus knelt down and grasped his shoulders. "Did anyone else see you?"

       Daryl looked straight into Jesus`s eyes, the cavernous pools of blue/green penetrating deep into his being, his breathing becoming more steady and slow. "No," he finally said.

       "Good." He helped Daryl take off his coat. "Did you find anything to eat?"

       "They shot up a bunch of turkeys. One`s on the porch."

       "We`re okay for a couple days. The larder also has those rabbits you got the other day."

       Daryl looked up. "They were awful close to the cabin."

       "We`ve been on our guard ever since we got here. We`ll be okay," Jesus assured.

       "At least there`s a lot of huntin` goin` on so our tracks won`t be that suspicious."

       "I know. Or they discover us." Jesus massaged Daryl`s shoulders, feeling the man beginning to relax. He leaned over and tenderly kissed his forehead. "As long as there aren`t any more, they can`t know about us." He glanced at the boxes of supplies that they had yet to bury in depots. At that moment the weather wasn`t cooperating, but they would find some way to get the mission done.

       Daryl wondered if it might have been a mistake to kill the two Saviors. "I guess I was stupid wasn`t I? Someone could come lookin` for them." He suddenly grabbed the knife and threw it into the beam. "All of this hidin` and shit." The frustration was apparent when Daryl wanted to fight them all.

       "We can`t expose ourselves for any reason. I know you understand that. We have to complete this mission. It`s important to our strategy to win." He tenderly stroked Daryl`s hair. "Rick needs us alive."

       The last statement was the one that finally got through to him. "Yeah, you`re right." Daryl let Jesus hold him in his embrace for a while, the comforting presence of a man who wanted to care for him, helping as he mulled over what their next move might have to be, especially the prospect of having to leave the cabin if they should be discovered. The fact that Rick knew nothing of the location of the cabin weighed heavily on both of their minds. "At least I got us a couple guns."

       "I guess that`s something," Jesus said. He held Daryl close to him in a tight hug and rocked him back and forth. He was glad that the Saviors had been killed, but gladder that Daryl was still safe from any plans that Negan may have for them.

                                                                                                                               *****

       Enid warmly greeted Rick and Michonne in what had been Gregory`s former office in Barrington House with long hugs and broad smiles. It was always good to see them even though they were worried that Savior scouts might spot them. The fact that it was winter meant the Saviors didn`t expect anyone from the other communities to get around much, so chances were low that they would be spotted. Maggie removed her coat.

       "I`ll go get some coffee and cookies," Enid said and left.

       "Looks like you`re coming along great, "Michonne commented observing Maggie`s extended belly.

       "We still have our days," Maggie said as she patted her stomach before removing the rabbit fur mittens.

       "Where did you get those? They look warm," Rick said.

       "A special friend made them for me."

       "Nice to see that Daryl hasn`t lost his touch," Michonne said grinning.

       "Where is he? I was hoping he`d meet us here," Rick said. The concern in his voice could not be ignored.

       Maggie indicated for them to sit down. "There`s been some problems."

       "What kind of problems?" Rick asked now getting a little agitated at the prospect that Daryl might be in deeper trouble. He realized he didn`t see Jesus around either.

       "One of our sentries reported that Jesus spotted some Saviors trying to sneak in. He was coming back from delivering supplies to the cabin and managed to lure them away. No one has seen either of them since before the big blizzard."

       "Do you know where Daryl is staying?" Rick asked.

       "Yes, I`ve been there. It`s a small hunter`s cabin we`re using as a base for the depots," Maggie said.

       "Do we have any of those shortbread cookies?" Enid asked peering in from the doorway.

       "I don`t know. Go check the storage trailer," Maggie said. They watched as Enid left.

       "Looks like she`s quite the little helper," Michonne said. "That`s good."

       "She`s been great. For everyone."

       "I`m sure Daryl can take care of himself. What about Jesus?" Rick asked.

       "Jesus can take care of himself, too. I have a strong suspicion he`s with Daryl," Maggie replied.

       "What makes you say that?" Michonne asked her curiosity aroused.

       "Oh, you know, if you`re around someone long enough you notice things," Maggie said smiling knowingly.

       Rick and Michonne exchanged confused looks.

                                                                                                                               *****

       The snow had melted some so Jesus and Daryl were able to set up more depots that were scattered evenly between Alexandria, Hilltop, and The Kingdom. Maggie and King Ezekiel would get copies of the map when it was finished. It was also a good time to do some hunting as well as keep an eye out for any Saviors. Jesus thought it was a good opportunity to learn more about how to survive in the wilderness and knew there was no one else who could better teach him than Daryl. To get out of the cold and wind they were now resting in the duck blind after traipsing through snow drifts all day waiting to see if a deer would show up. Daryl emitted a short laugh.

       "What`s so funny?" Jesus asked.

       "The last time I was in a duck blind it turned into a love nest. A guy named Whitney. Only lasted a week. No real love, just for the sex."

       "I can understand why a place like this would make a great hideaway." Jesus found it interesting that if two people needed to hide their love, there were many ways they would find to do it.

       "It`s too cold right now, even for just the sex." Daryl playfully winked at Jesus.

       Jesus reached over and stroked his face. "When it gets warmer we can look this place up again." They had made love almost every night since the first time and grew closer and more in love each day.

       They heard a noise outside. Daryl quickly looked out the peephole. "There it is. That five pointer I saw." Jesus came up beside him.

       "Such a shame we have to kill such a beautiful creature." 

       "Better us than the damn walkers." Daryl picked up his crossbow and aimed it through the peephole. "This ain`t gonna work. I have to get out of here to get a better shot at it."

       Jesus quietly opened the flap and they slipped out. The deer didn`t seem to notice them. Jesus hung back to watch as Daryl slowly crept up on it. When he stepped on a twig and it snapped the deer looked up and started to run. So did Daryl. Jesus quickly followed him and both men ran after the deer keeping it in sight as it ran through the woods. Daryl was about to get a good shot at it when he heard Jesus cry out in pain. He turned around to see him on the ground holding his ankle.

       "Ah, goddammit shit-shit-shit," Jesus said as the pain throbbed.

       "What happened?" Daryl asked coming up to him and bending down.

       "I tripped over that dead tree. I hope I just sprained my ankle. If it`s broken--." He watched as Daryl removed his boot and felt along his ankle which was already starting to swell.

       "It`s not broken. Can you stand?" He extended his hand for Jesus to stand up, but as soon as he did Jesus collapsed back down on the ground.

       "I guess that`s a 'no'."

       Daryl looked at him and shook his head. "No more redneck lessons today."

       "Don`t be so cute. I think there`s a wrap in the backpack," Jesus said. "It`s still in the blind."

       Daryl was smiling slightly as he nodded and left. He returned shortly with the backpack and found the wrap and put it around the ankle before slipping the boot back on, keeping it loose. "Can you handle the weapons and backpack?"

       "Maybe. Why?"

       Daryl handed him his crossbow. "Because I can`t carry them and carry you on my back at the same time."

       "You`ve got to be joking."

       Daryl knelt down on the ground. "Come on."

       Jesus wasn`t sure that Daryl was serious, but he was small compared to him and the man did have the muscles. "You do realize the last time I got a piggyback ride I was four years old."

       "Get on or crawl back home," Daryl said looking at him with an expression of annoyance and amusement.

       Jesus shrugged. He slung the backpack and weapons on his back then climbed on Daryl`s back, his arms going around Daryl`s hard muscular chest, hooking his legs through Daryl`s arms. Daryl stood up and they were on their way.

                                                                                                                               *****

       As soon as they returned to the cabin Daryl gently set Jesus down on the sofa. He helped him off with his coat and gear then went outside and broke off some icicles to make into a pack. Jesus didn`t say a word as he watched Daryl carefully put the ice pack on his ankle which was now propped up on a pillow as he rested on the sofa. Daryl covered him with a blanket before he went over to the fireplace to get it warm inside the cabin. Jesus already felt warm inside at the care he was being given, something he was not used to.

       "Better?" Daryl quietly asked.

       "Yeah. Looks like I`m off my feet for a couple days. Sorry about the deer."

       "We`re alright. I`ll go find us a couple--."

       "Please. No more squirrels."

       "Plenty of rabbits."

       Jesus laughed. "Okay. Rabbits are fine."

       "And lots of birds." Daryl leaned over and kissed him then touched his forehead to Jesus`s until they just sat there in that position for the longest time.

       "I wish this winter would last forever," Jesus whispered.

       "Yeah, me too," Daryl whispered in return.

                                                                                                                               *****

       Rick and Michonne walked down the road with their arms linked as they headed towards Alexandria. They had to leave the car they took to Hilltop behind due to some impassable roads. It was snowing mixed with some sleet so they kept to the edge where it was overgrown and less slippery.

       "You`ve hardly said a word since we left Hilltop," she said to him as she shivered slightly. "I know you`re worried about Daryl and Jesus and the depots."   

       "Actually, I was thinking of some other things about Daryl. If you had known us when we first met, you would never think we would have become friends."

       "I remember Glenn telling me he was pretty wild, even uncontrollable at times. I thought he was just the independent type."

       "The one thing that always puzzled me was why he stepped up the way he did. Searching for Sophia, shooting Dale in the head after he got gutted by a walker. I always thought it was because he had gotten away from Merle`s influence." Rick looked around to make sure they weren`t being followed by Savior scouts or any other spies.

        "You mean there`s more?" Michonne followed his lead. Neither found anyone else around.

        Rick nodded. "There`s something about him that very few, if any, know. Or if they have figured it out, they don`t say anything. It took me a while to figure it out, but once I did, a lot of things started to make sense."

        Michonne smiled slightly. "That Daryl Dixon likes boys."

        Rick looked at her somewhat surprised, then laughed. "Yeah."

        "He`s always seemed pretty asexual to me."

        "You have to remember he comes from an area where there`s a lot of bigotry about such things. I`m sure Merle had a lot to do with it as well." Rick paused. "I love him like a brother, a close brother, but in a way that Merle never did. Once Daryl emotionally attaches himself to someone, you could easily say it`s a permanent thing."

        "Are you saying he might be in love with you?"

        Rick laughed. "No. Maybe." He shrugged. "Even though it might seem that way to some." He paused. "Merle was gone. I suppose in Daryl`s mind I`ve taken his place. I also think he hates to be alone."

        "Merle probably bullied him a lot." Michonne had never forgotten her experience with Merle and the fact that she had somehow gotten to him when he was going to take her to the Governor only to release her.

        They both walked in silence for a while. "I miss him being around all the time, Michonne. I miss seeing him working on his bike, messing with his crossbow, skinning a squirrel or rabbit on the porch. Staring people down and mouthing off when the bullshit flies in his direction." 

        "That stringy hair always in his eyes. How he can make dirt look good on a person," Michonne said bursting into laughter. "You know something? I do too." A half frozen walker came towards them and she quickly dispatched it with her sword. "There`s something that Maggie said before we left that I can`t seem to get out of my mind. That if you are around someone long enough, you notice things. I wonder what she meant by that?"

        "I think I might know. She also said she suspected that Jesus was with him. I think that Daryl is taking time to examine some feelings," Rick said.

       "So you think his heart is set on someone? On Jesus?"

       Rick nodded. "When we first encountered Jesus, Daryl really went after him. I mean, he`s gone after people before when they needed chasing down, but there was something about this encounter that was different. The more I think about it the more I think Jesus was hitting on Daryl and Daryl was somewhat aware that he liked it." Rick laughed. "It`s almost comical now.

       Michonne stopped, putting two and two together. "So you think...?"

       He stopped and looked at her. "Yeah. If they have found each other, I couldn`t be more happy for the both of them. Jesus has become not only an asset to us, but a friend. Maybe they belong together."

       They continued to walk, the gates of Alexandria within sight. "Daryl deserves some happiness in his life. He reminds me of a lost puppy dog," Michonne said with sweetness.

       "Emotionally he`s still a child. Growing up the way he did it`s understandable. How he held it all together, I doubt Daryl even understands it. His imprisonment with Negan is bringing a lot of old stuff out, though. That does have me worried."

       They stopped, now standing in front of the gate. Rick waved to Tobin, who was standing watch on the platform.

       "Then it`s good that he is not alone. And finding love will make it all that much easier to come back to himself, or at least find the peace he needs to move forward," Michonne said.

       Rick nodded. "Yeah. I have to believe that, too, Michonne."

       The gate slid open and they went inside.

                                                                                                                               *****

       Jesus let out a long moan of pleasure as he finished his orgasm then collapsed as soon as Daryl turned over on his back. He kissed down Daryl`s chest until he took Daryl`s balls and cock into his own mouth. It wasn`t long until Daryl had his own orgasm. He then rested his head on Daryl`s chest. Both were breathing heavily and drenched in sweat. "Oh, goddamn that was good."

       "Won`t argue with that." Daryl put his arms around Jesus and held him close, their bodies entwined under the covers.

       "Who`s Mingus?" Jesus suddenly asked. "You have that name tattooed on your right arm."

       "You know the guy I told you about, the one Merle caught me kissin`?"

       "Yeah."

       "After that happened we were more discreet. Became quite serious for a couple years. Mingus worked in one of those factories where they make metal stuff at one of those machines that stamp out all that crap. One day he got into a fight and got distracted, pushed, clamped down right on his back. Died right there on the spot."

       Jesus closed his eyes trying to feel Daryl`s pain from the experience. "I`m sorry, Daryl. He was obviously very special to you," he said quietly. Daryl held him closer and softly kissed his neck.

      "It was a long time ago. But I`ll always remember him if nobody else will." He traced the name that was in red letters on his arm. "At least he`ll never know about this world." They were silent for a moment just enjoying the cuddling. "I sure as hell ain`t gonna tattoo 'Jesus' anywhere, except maybe on my ass," Daryl said gruffly. He reached over to the small bed stand to light up a cigarette.

      "I think the apocalypse took care of the tattoo parlors," Jesus said amusingly.

      "Shit." Daryl blew out a long stream of smoke, lost in thought. "If any more Saviors show up we need to kill them. They can`t find these depots." The statement surprised Jesus somewhat.

      "Daryl, I understand all of that. But if too many of Negan`s men come up missing, someone`s bound to come looking. Negan has a death bounty on you and probably me if Gregory has been talking." His hand slowly moved up and down Daryl`s chest. "We have to be careful. We`d be outnumbered."

      Daryl contemplated what Jesus said and sighed. "I ain`t gonna be a sittin` duck."

      "I know, my love. Neither am I. Remember we still have five more depots to set up." He paused. "We do this for Rick. For Michonne. For Maggie. For everyone we love at Hilltop, The Kingdom, and in Alexandria. We`re their best fighters, Daryl. This mission is important. If we screw it up all we`ll wind up doing is getting our friends killed along with us."

      That seemed to hit home with Daryl. "I don`t want that."

      "You have to get some perspective on this, Daryl. Otherwise no one will be safe." He kissed Daryl longingly and lovingly on the lips. In that moment Jesus realized he never cared more for anyone than he cared for Daryl Dixon. In his heart he knew he didn`t want anyone else. Daryl felt a love for Paul he thought he never would have been capable of feeling. He was now hooked and committed.

                                                                                                                                *****

        _"Move your ass out of my chair, Rovia."_

_Paul Rovia opened his eyes and saw his roommate Kirk hovering over him. Someday soon he would be eighteen years old and could leave the group home he had been placed into since the age of eight months. There was a part of him that was afraid of the world outside, but the resident manager assured him that he would be fine. Paul`s only real solace had been his excursions to the gym where he was learning Karate and Taekwondo as well as dabbling into other forms of the martial arts. There was also the shooting range where he could shoot various types of guns at targets. The thing he wanted the most were black belts in Karate and Taekwondo._

_"Sorry, I didn`t know you had your name on it." Paul stood up and looked thoroughly at the chair. "Nope, don`t see it here." He sat back down._

_"You little son-of-a-bitch." Kirk, who was bigger than Paul, kicked the chair out from under him. "How do you like being sprawled on the floor like a shitty little rug, Rovia?"_

_Paul quickly got up on his feet and was instantly in one of his karate stances. He had reached a breaking point with Kirk. "You`re nothing but a fucking bully." He had hesitated to try anything with Kirk because of the home`s rules, but this time--. "Come at me, asshole."_

_Kirk laughed. "You`re too scared to try anything, tiny." But Kirk was up for the challenge. He immediately went into one of his wrestling stances and circled around Paul. He then reached out his arm ready to let a punch fly. Paul grabbed his arm and in a swift move threw him down on the floor. Kirk was somewhat surprised by the action. He got back up and prepared to tackle Paul, but before he could take a step towards him, he found himself kicked to the ground. Neither of them noticed that some of the other residents of the group home had gathered at the doorway to watch._

_"You want to try that again?" Kirk asked. He got up and at a run he knocked Paul over. Paul landed and rolled, his feet up and with them he tossed Kirk over his head. He quickly got back up on his feet. He was hurting because he wasn`t on a mat, but his adrenaline was also up so the pain was secondary._

_"I have a brown belt in karate and a red/black belt in taekwondo," Paul said. "Someday soon I hope to have black belts in both of those. Stick around, I`ll kick your ass even harder."_

_"What is going on here?" the resident manager said sidling his way through the small crowd at the door. He noticed Kirk on the floor his face bleeding and Paul standing ready in one of his karate stances. "You two. My office now. You first, Kirk."  
_

_*****_

_Paul sat in the waiting area in front of the RM`s office as he waited to find out what his fate would be after the fight with Kirk. He knew it most likely wouldn`t be in his favor. At this point, it didn`t really matter to him anymore. He had learned to mature early due to the fact that he was in a place where he was constantly surrounded by others with no real places of privacy. Paul had also grown tired of the stupid little rules, especially for older residents. The prohibition against facial hair and having always to keep one`s hair trimmed were just a couple of them; almost as silly as the dress code. He knew as soon as he got out, things in his life were going to change. If anything, he looked forward to the day when he could make his own decisions about what he did with his life._

_The door opened and Kirk only glared at Paul when he left the resident manager`s office and headed in the direction of the community room. Then it was Paul`s turn. He now sat in front of the RM`s desk his arms folded._

_"What am I going to do with you, Paul? You promised me."_

_"I`m tired of his bullying. You`re always saying we need to stand up to bullies. So that`s what I did." This time Paul was not going to back down. He was tired of keeping the peace when it only served other people`s purposes._

_"You`ve been here a long time, Paul. Too long. Since you are over the age of sixteen I can legally dismiss you. I hesitated because you don`t know a whole lot about the world outside. I wanted you to wait until you were eighteen so it would be easier for you to get a job. I`m sorry." The RM opened up a file. "This is your third violation. I cannot compromise on the three strikes and you`re out policy. Do you get me, Paul?"_

_"I get you. You`re kicking me out. Did you kick Kirk out too?" Paul could feel his anger rising, but he had learned long ago that there were times to put a lid on it. This was one of them._

_"Yes. Neither of you belong here. Neither of you want to follow the rules of learning how to get along." The RM sighed. "You can pack your things and leave in the morning. Kirk will be staying with Mike tonight."_

_"I don`t belong anywhere," Paul said and got up and left the office, slamming the door behind him._

_"Fucking little faggot," Kirk said when Paul walked by the community room._

_At that Paul turned around and let a hard punch fly in Kirk`s face. The assistant manager quickly grabbed Paul and moved him towards the stairs. "That`s enough."_

_Paul turned around and looked at the assistant. "Fuck you." It was against the rules to say anything of the sorts to the staff, but he didn`t care anymore. He had been kicked out so it really didn`t matter._

                                            *****

       After four days passed Daryl and Jesus had finally finished the task of establishing and supplying the depots and decided it might be best to stay at the cabin until the weather improved. After they had gotten up and dressed and did some chores, both of them were becoming more worried about their food situation as they took inventory of what was left from Hilltop and The Kingdom and what Daryl had been able to find while out hunting. They now stood in the tool shed looking at the empty hooks, except for one which held a lone rabbit.

       "I`m sure there are more Saviors nearby if they are hunting in this area," Jesus said.

       "We`ll just have to be more careful, that`s all." Before either of them could discuss it further they heard the sound of a motor. Daryl quickly moved over to the doorway. "Can`t see it. Sounds like a pickup truck." They heard the motor shut off and the slamming of doors.

       "Come on, let`s get inside the cabin," Jesus said. The two of them hurried indoors and closed and locked the door, grabbing both guns Daryl had confiscated. They checked to see that one gun had five rounds left, the other only three.

       Daryl slightly parted the curtain on the front window. "Still can`t see them. They are close by."

       "Hey, Simon, is that a cabin over there?" they heard a muffled voice say.

       Daryl was ready to break a window pane in order to shoot at them, but Jesus stopped him. "Dammit, keep your head, asshole. If Simon comes up missing, Negan will come looking for sure."

       "I wonder if the prick who lives here killed our friends?" they heard Simon ask. "Hey asshole! Come on out!" One of the other Saviors shot off several rounds from his Uzi. Jesus could now see four of them through the thick brush. All of them had military style assault rifles.

       "Daryl, we don`t stand a chance against that kind of fire power. We`ve got to get out of here. Now." Jesus`s tone was urgent and insistent.

       Daryl realized that Jesus was right. They could see Simon and the other Saviors approach. "Can`t get out the front. Open that back window. Grab what you can. I`ll get my crossbow out of the closet." He had hidden it behind a canvass and some storage baskets.

       "No time," Jesus said. "They`re almost on the porch."

       "Dammit," Daryl whispered at the prospect of having to leave his crossbow behind.

       They grabbed as much food and water as they could and put it in one backpack. Daryl made sure the map of the depots was securely in his shirt pocket. Jesus already had his knives, and Daryl his one. They slung the guns over their shoulders. Daryl grabbed the spear. He watched as Jesus tried to pry open the window which was frozen shut.

       "It`s stuck. I`ll have to break it." With a swift karate kick Jesus broke the glass and climbed out. Daryl handed him the pack and spear. He didn`t notice the one shard of glass sticking up from the bottom and as he made his way through the window he heard the tearing of cloth and felt a sharp pain as a long deep gash tore into the calf of his left leg.

       "Son-of-a-bitch!"

       Jesus shouldered the backpack and helped Daryl climb out the rest of the way. They quickly moved through the somewhat melted snow, running until they could hide themselves in a thick stand of trees and shrubs. Jesus quickly looked at the injury to Daryl`s leg. "It`s clean, but it`s bleeding like hell. I don`t think it`s the femoral artery."

       Daryl winced in pain. "We gotta bind it somehow. Get outta here. Those guys might be able to trace our path in the snow."

       Jesus rummaged through the backpack until he found a large bandana. He carefully wrapped it around the injury. "Maybe we can make it to Hilltop or The Kingdom, get this stitched. It looks bad, Daryl."

       Daryl shook his head. "If they`re huntin` around the area there`s a good chance we`ll get caught. We gotta keep movin`."

      "Where?"

      "That`s west. Towards the mountains" Daryl said pointing. "I don`t think the Saviors go that far out."

      "Speaking of far out, that`s far out for us, too," Jesus said obviously not thrilled with the idea.

      "You got a better one?" 

       Jesus sighed. "No." He finished binding Daryl`s leg. "Come on, let`s move." He helped Daryl to his feet and they continued to move as fast as they could through the snow and tall brush. So far they were not being followed.

                                                                                                                               *****

       They had trudged through the woods for three days before finding shelter in what used to be a touristy sort of gift shop. It was snowing heavily and both of them were cold. Jesus was becoming more and more concerned with Daryl`s injury. Even though Daryl tried not to show he was in pain, the bleeding had not abated and he felt weaker. Of course, it was also due to the fact that they had run out of food and had to rely on hunting. Game was scarce and they were reluctant to use up the rest of the ammo in the guns in case it was needed for walkers or other unwelcome wanderers. They had moved mostly through farmland and forests, the terrain now getting hillier as mountains rose before them in the distance. The footing was also getting tricky with ice, snow, and rocks becoming the most difficult obstacles to their progress.

       "We should have gone to Hilltop or The Kingdom. Even Alexandria. Gotten that cut taken care of," Jesus said, knowing Daryl was just being stubborn about the whole thing.

       "Dammit, I told you it`s not that bad," Daryl said somewhat angrily. He knew it was quite serious and it would need to get treatment as soon as possible.

       "You don`t have to tell me anything. You know everything," Jesus said back just as angry.

       "Fuck you," Daryl said snorting at him.

       "Yeah, well, fuck you. Maybe I`ll go back on my own. Leave you behind."

       "I`d like to see you try." Daryl gave him a long stare.

       Jesus glared at him for a long moment, then laughed slightly. "Maybe I should just leave you. Period. Asshole." Jesus threw a bottle of water at him. "Drink up." He knew their fighting was mostly Daryl trying to blow off steam, but it was still distressing to him. He finished tending to Daryl`s leg, which was still bleeding slowly and steadily and showing the first signs of infection. "There must be a camp of survivors somewhere."

       Daryl shrugged. "Maybe there`s a map around here someplace. These touristy places have shit like that don`t they?"

       Jesus got up to look around. The only map he found was a cartoon-like placemat that indicated the best sights to see and places to go. "There." He threw it at Daryl.

       "This ain`t no map."

       "I know it 'ain`t no map'. That`s all I could find." Neither of them liked being on the road in the dead of winter and the stress was definitely getting to both of them, as well as the prospect of not really knowing where they were going.

       Daryl sighed and studied the placemat. "Bunch of lakes, rivers and shit for fishin` and boatin`. Hikin` trails. Some mountain resort called Skyline Cabins." He tossed the placemat aside.

       Jesus looked out the windows. "It`s getting dark. We`ll have to stay here for the night. I just wish we could start a fire."

       "And burn the place down. That`s real smart."

       "I know it would burn the place down." There was a pause. "I know that you know I`m not that stupid." Another pause. "Don`t you ever listen to what I really say?" Jesus glared at Daryl who was calmly looking back at him.

       There was a long silence between them. "I listen," Daryl finally said. "I`m just givin` you a bunch of shit." There was a slight teasing twinkle in Daryl`s eye.

       Jesus wanted to slap him, but decided against it. He knew it would be futile anyway. Being unable to do anything for Daryl`s injury was foremost on his mind. Jesus wasn`t sure how long Daryl could last. He also knew how much of a fighter Daryl was concerning such things, but someday there would be the one thing that would bring him down. The fact that their food and water was low The fact that they were both cold even though they had winter clothes on. The fact that Daryl had the start of a fever. All of these put together, the odds didn`t look good. Jesus`s ankle had pretty much healed so it didn`t give him any trouble. He scooted closer to Daryl only wanting to be nearer to him.

       "I`m sorry," Daryl softly said.

       "When people fight it`s because they care a lot for each other," Jesus said in a quiet tone.

       Daryl put his arm around him and they huddled together just to be close as well as trying to keep warm. Jesus closed his eyes in hopes of getting some sleep, but he knew he wouldn`t get any. As soon as Daryl noticed Jesus relax, he winced in pain. Deep inside he knew time was not on his side. Daryl tried not to think about it, but his mind was becoming muddled due to the pain, the oncoming fever, and the loss of blood.

                                                                                                                               *****

       When daylight came they left the shelter of the gift shop. Daryl used the spear as a staff and was limping badly. The weather was warming up and a thaw was setting in so the ground was muddy and slogging through it was getting more difficult. They also knew they would have to be more cautious. When the weather thawed so did the walkers. It was Jesus who first heard the raspy growling sounds of two maybe three approaching them. They still kept to their policy of not using the guns if they didn`t have to.

       "Shit," he said pulling out his knives. "I almost wish it was below freezing now."

       Daryl adjusted his balance and raised the spear. "There they are. Three of them."

       Jesus moved to quickly dispatch the one in front. Once the walkers realized there were living people nearby they adjusted their course, one heading directly for Daryl. Daryl threw the spear, but losing his balance he was unable to take a good aim at the head and the spear went into the walker`s chest. The walker growled and moved closer to Daryl, who had fallen to the ground. It passed between two trees, stuck for a moment due to the spear until it broke in half, then continued on course. Jesus was quick and stuck a knife in its head. Daryl was able to grab one of the guns and shoot the third one. Jesus came over and helped him to his feet.

      "The tip of the spear was broken," Jesus said.

      Daryl`s weakened condition made it impossible for him to think clearly. As easy as it was to fight the three walkers, it took more out of him than he thought it would. "Let`s see if we can get out of these trees."

      Both were now covered with dirt, mixed with walker blood as well as their own. Jesus found a sturdy branch that Daryl could use as a staff. The loss of the spear was more than just a weapon, it had also been their salvation for the small bit of food they could find, and they realized they might have to rely on the guns, using up the limited ammo. It was not lost on either of them that both were beginning to starve, either. Jesus could tell that Daryl was losing his fight with the effects of the injury. How he was hanging on was an indication of Daryl`s inner strength to get through adversity. Every day they hoped they would find some kind of shelter, but only the wilderness stretched before them. After stumbling for six days they finally cleared some of the trees and found themselves in a grouping of rocks they could use as a temporary shelter. There were remnants of razor wire scattered in various spots, indicating that the place must have once been used as a temporary camp in the early days of the apocalypse. The breeze was brisk and cool, but not cold. The temperature was in the 50`s so the thawing out was continuing. Daryl used the branch with one hand while Jesus was his support on his right side. It became more and more difficult to support Daryl as the fever from the infection and weakness from blood loss took its toll.

       "Stop," Daryl finally said unable to go any further. He sat down heavily on one of the boulders.

       Jesus quickly unwrapped the bloodied binding on the cut. "It looks bad, Daryl." He rebound it as best he could and sat down beside him. If the circumstances were better Jesus would have enjoyed the view of the mountainous vista that stretched out before them. Instead he felt a sense of despair, like the rotted wood and dead trees that were scattered about them. Jesus thought he heard a sound behind him, but when a bird flew out of a tree he figured it was just that.

       "Maybe we should have stayed at the cabin and killed those Saviors. At least we wouldn`t have had to leave in such a hurry," Jesus said.

       "It would only have brought more of them and the depots might have been discovered."

       "Why haven`t they tried to track us?"

       "Probably too confusin` to follow our trail in all that snow," Daryl said, his voice low and quiet.

       "Negan`s not one to spend energy pursuing someone unless it`s a sure thing about what or who he`s after."

       Daryl nodded. "We`re the ones who got away. That will stick in his crawl for a long time."

       Jesus was silent for quite some time. "We can`t just sit here. We can`t go back." He didn`t want to admit that perhaps even Daryl Dixon had run out of luck.

       Daryl winced in pain and felt his head spinning. His vision was becoming blurry. He fought hard not to pass out and looked directly at Jesus. "Paul, you gotta leave me behind. I`m slowin` you down."

       "No."

       Daryl grasped Jesus`s arm. "You know that`s the right thing to do."

       "So you`re just going to sit here and die? Become a walker?" The desperation was strong in Jesus`s voice.

       "Paul, listen to me. You gotta survive. Rick is gonna need you."

       "He`s going to need you, too."

       "In my condition I ain`t gonna make it. Like you said, I`m gonna die. Just stick one of your knives in my head." Daryl looked down. "The Saviors may have taken everythin` I had, but they didn`t take me. They tried and lost. I just wish I was there to see Negan die."

        Jesus buried his head in his knees and rocked back and forth. "Damn this world," he said. "I finally find you. And it`s all gone. Just like that." Daryl reached over and tried to comfort him, but the sound of the wind blowing through the pine trees as well as his weakened condition, were lulling him into wanting to fall asleep. Then there was some underlying noise he couldn`t quite identify at first.

       "Paul." He took several deep breaths fighting to stay conscious. "Walkers." Daryl swayed back and forth but he could no longer sit up. He collapsed as darkness overcame his mind.

       Jesus looked up. About three dozen walkers were approaching them, staggering through the trees. He was instantly up on his feet, slinging both guns on his back. He took one and shot the rounds that were left, then the other, quickly emptying both. He then stood his ground knives at the ready. He wasn`t certain he could handle the rest alone, but he was certainly going to try. Jesus could only glance at Daryl as the walkers approached. He ran towards them trying to avoid the razor wire and with a few karate moves he knocked a couple down, then plunged a knife into one`s head. Two more approached as he withdrew his knife and used taekwondo to kick down another. Not watching his footing he got tangled in the wire and fell, feeling the barbs cutting deep into his forehead. Jesus watched as a walker approached and desperately tried to untangle himself. It bent down to bite him then to his surprise the walker was shot in the head as the report of a gunshot came from behind him. Then another walker went down the same way. He kicked his way out of the wire and was instantly on his feet plunging a knife into another. More shots were fired and the rest of the walkers went down until all of them were killed. Jesus rushed over to Daryl and knelt down, putting his ear to his chest. The heart was faint, but still beating. He looked up when he heard the clicks of guns. Two men and a woman dressed as bikers stood above them aiming guns directly at them.

       "Please," Jesus said as tears welled up in his eyes. "Either shoot us both or help my friend." He slumped over Daryl`s unconscious body not caring what would happen to them in that moment.

       A woman in a hijab pushed through the bikers and indicated for them to lower their guns. "Looks like I have a patient," she said to one of the men who was quite large. "Go back and get that stretcher." Then she bent down and placed a reassuring hand on Jesus. "Come with us."

                                                                                                                               *****

**Chapter 4**

       The echoing voices of men and women. Paul`s voice, distant. The blur of trees and log cabins. The smell of pines and the wind whispering through the needles. No sound of walkers. More voices. Paul`s voice. Daryl could not hear what they were saying. All was confusion and far away. But he could still hear his breath and feel the heart in his chest beating. He drifted through the forest. The sound of footsteps on wooden planks.

       "Is it a bite?" he clearly heard a woman ask.

       "No, a cut." Paul`s voice. Remote. Just as clear.

       Then all was darkness again.

                                                                                                                               *****

       "After some minor surgery I was able to drain the infection from the injury, clean it, stitch it, and bandage it. Your friend is going to need a lot of recovery time. My main concern now is his fever," The woman in the hijab said sitting down next to Jesus.

       "Thank you," Jesus said. With his left hand he held a bandage over his forehead from the cuts from the razor wire and stretched out his right hand and they shook. "My name is Paul Rovia, but my friends call me Jesus." He laughed slightly. "My friend`s name is Daryl Dixon."

        "I`m Aliya. We overheard your conversation in the woods. You and Daryl are on the run from someone called Negan? Is he bad?"

        "Yeah. Daryl was taken prisoner by the group he leads. They call themselves the Saviors. They tortured him, beat him. I helped him to escape. There are many communities obligated to provide Negan with supplies. We and some others are at war with the Saviors to take them down." Jesus paused and looked out of a window. "Is this your camp?"

        "Yes, it`s called Skyline Cabins. It was a mountain cabin resort. We stayed because it is self-sustaining. We have water, our own sewage system. Solar panels. Some of us, like myself, were employees, others were vacationers. A group of bikers arrived and we took them in as a kindness."

        "I sensed some hostility from them," Jesus said, feeling as if he was treading unknown territory he did not wish to tread.

        "Usually we don`t take in strangers. I overheard your conversation and felt empathy." A short-haired biker girl he had seen earlier came into the room rolling down her sleeves. "This is Gertie. She has Daryl`s blood type. He lost a lot of blood."

        "Hello," Jesus said in greeting.

        Gertie nodded. "Any idea what you`re going to do with them?" she asked, her tone somewhat hostile.

        "You will tell the others that Jesus and Daryl are to be our guests for a while."

        "So, I take it, you`re allowing them into the community?"

       "They`re on the run from a bad group," Aliya said. "I think we can extend some generosity and compassion this time."

       Gertie shrugged. "Bruno ain`t gonna like it." She left.

       Aliya turned her attention back to Jesus. "We`ll talk some more. I want to take a look at those cuts on your face now."

       Jesus nodded. "Are you a doctor?" he asked as they got up and headed into the exam room.

       "No, I`m really a nurse practitioner. I was the assistant here when everything went down. My husband and three children lived here. They are all dead except my youngest daughter, who`s eleven."

       "I`m sorry to hear that."

       "The dead ones got Marwan, my husband." She looked away trying to blink back tears. "He was out hunting when he was taken by them, then killed. Two of my children fell to the disease."

       They entered the exam room. Jesus was able to glance into a room where Daryl was on a hospital bed covered in blankets still unconscious. An IV drip and a blood bag were stuck in his arm and an oxygen tube was on his face. "You still have meds and other equipment?"

       "This was the infirmary. There were some left over, we`ve had to scavenge a lot. They only get used when the bikers get into fights among themselves." She indicated for him to sit down on the exam table. He watched as she got the needed supplies.

       Jesus let her clean, stitch, and bandage his cuts in silence. "By the way, do you have something to eat?" he asked when she was finished.

      "How about some fish and bread left over from lunch?"

      "That sounds about right," Jesus said laughing. It took a moment then Aliya laughed as well. He liked her immediately out of everyone he had met so far. Since he always had a sense about people, he felt she was one of the good ones. He didn`t sense that so much from the bikers.

                                                                                                                               *****

       After getting cleaned up Jesus, now in a bathrobe, stood beside the bed that Daryl was on and slowly washed Daryl`s chest. He rolled him over on his side in order to scrub his back. At that moment an eleven-year old girl, also wearing a hijab, entered carrying some clean clothes. She immediately noticed Daryl`s tattoos on his back.

       "Is he a biker?" she asked somewhat fearfully.

       "He rides bikes, but isn`t one. Why?"

       "They all have tattoos. I thought he might be one."

       "Oh." Jesus gently scrubbed Daryl`s back. Daryl was still unconscious, but his color looked better due to the transfusions, however the fever was still quite high.

       "These are for you and Mr. Dixon. He has to wear a t-shirt and pajama pants until he`s better. Your other clothes are being washed and mended."

        Jesus took the clothing and set them aside. He was amazed at how mature the girl sounded. "Thanks." He noticed her now admiring Daryl`s back. "You like the devil tattoos?"

       "Yeah."

       He leaned over and whispered. "He`s got another one on his arm and a snake on his leg." This caused her to smile even broader.

       Aliya quietly came in with a tray of bandages and other medical accouterments, including an IV bag. "Nura, they`re looking for you at the school." The girl sighed and left. Aliya lifted the sheet over Daryl`s injured leg and inspected the bandage.

       "Just how bad is it?" Jesus asked as he rolled Daryl over on is back.

       "Since Gertie and another resident have his blood type, he needed three transfusions. He`s lucky the cut didn`t hit a major artery. The IV`s and antibiotics will hopefully do the rest of the job. The fever`s pretty high I`m afraid." As she hooked up the IV bag Daryl stirred and slightly opened his eyes. He mumbled something that neither of them understood. "It`s alright. I`m just hooking up an IV and changing the bandage," Aliya said softly.

       "You gotta be quiet, Merle. They`ll hear you," Daryl whispered.

       "Merle`s not here, Daryl," Jesus said.

       "I don`t think he can hear you. He may be delirious," Aliya said. She was silent as she undid the bandage.

       Daryl looked right at Jesus but didn`t seem to see him. "Those fuckers will eat you alive. Now shut up."

       Inside Jesus felt crushed. Daryl then fell unconscious again. "This is just the beginning isn`t it?" he asked.

      Aliya nodded. "We`ll have to watch him closely until the fever breaks. If it doesn`t..." She couldn`t finish the sentence.

      "Yeah, I know." Jesus looked at his empty knife sheaths lying on a nearby table. "Is there any way I can get my knives back?"

      "The bikers dictate that policy, I`m afraid. I can`t say 'yes' or 'no'. Sorry."

      Jesus only nodded. "Since it looks like you don`t have an assistant, I`ll be more than happy to be one. I was an orderly before everything went down."

      She smiled. "I`ll take you up on that offer. I can fix a room for you here. The bikers want you locked up. Daryl, too, if he was well."

      So far Jesus did not like the sound of the bikers or the set-up of the camp. However, they were helping Daryl and that had to be his priority.

                                                                                                                                *****

        _When Daryl looked down at the clothes he was wearing it was the set of prison sweats he had been issued as a prisoner in The Sanctuary. The hallway he was walking down, however, was not The Sanctuary. He remembered it as the hospital where his father had died. Will Dixon was now in a room, the cancer he had developed soon to take his life._

_"Daryl, there you are," he heard a familiar voice say. Turning around he saw Dale, complete in his vacation clothes and fishing hat standing in the hallway. "Where are you going?"_

_"My father. He`s dyin`. Cancer," Daryl said._

_"The old big C. Even when you die from it you come back," another familiar voice said._

_Daryl turned and saw the Governor, all dressed in black and with his eyepatch, sitting on a gurney._

_"Dale, what...?" He couldn`t finish his sentence. Dale had disappeared._

_"Nice outfit," the Governor said and laughed maniacally._

_The grating gravelly sound of walkers. Daryl turned around ready to fight and realized he had no weapons. The walkers reached out towards him._

_"Daryl, come with me. Hurry." He felt a hand tug him and when he looked to see who it was, it was Glenn. "Come on." Glenn pulled him down the hallway until they seemed to be running. The hallway went on forever until Glenn let go of his hand and leaped into the darkness at the end. Daryl nearly fell into what looked like an endless abyss. He felt someone push him from behind and when he looked up Negan with Lucille in hand stood at the top grinning. Negan disappeared and all faded to black as Daryl continued to fall into the darkness._

It was night and Jesus sat by the bed as he watched a sweating Daryl toss and turn. He could only make out a few names. Dale. The Governor. Glenn.

                                                                                                                               *****

        In order to calm him down, Aliya had given Daryl a mild sedative so Jesus took the opportunity to slip away and check out the Skyline Cabin community. It was like most resorts of the particular variety that he had seen pictures of and dreamed about going to as a boy. The cabins were scattered at various points connected by a series of wooden walkways and bridges that met at a central hub where a now unused swimming pool was located. He noticed that the cabins that were higher up were occupied by the regular people. The former recreation hall had been turned over to the bikers. Their motorcycles were parked in the food court. Most of the residents avoided the bikers and he could see some incidents of bullying going on, especially of the women. The only woman the bikers seemed to respect was Aliya and he sensed there was more about her than just being a nurse practitioner. Jesus knew he would find out eventually. He did have one main goal in mind when he went out for his walk.

        Jesus wanted his knives back, his belts with the empty sheaths already strapped on.

       Since the bikers were the ones to negotiate with when it came to weapons, he headed in the direction of the former recreation hall. As soon as he stepped in the doorway all of them became silent and stared at him. The large one called Bruno was the first to approach him.

       "What are you doing here, shithead?" Bruno asked evenly.

       Jesus smiled in the most magnanimous way he could think of. "I understand you`re in charge of all the weapons around here."

       "Yeah, so," the one called Snake said in his raspy voice as he stood beside Bruno.

       "I would like to have my knives back." Jesus`s smile never wavered.

       All of the bikers burst into laughter.

       "What if we ain`t got `em?" Bruno asked.

       "That`s a good question," Jesus said stepping into the hall. He swiftly whirled around on the biker who was approaching him from behind and kicked him into a stack of chairs. "You see, if you don`t have them, I`m going to get really pissed off. They`re my favorite knives." Two bikers tried to jump him and in a series of well-practiced taekwondo moves, they were on the floor looking quite dazed.

       "Okay, we got `em," Bruno said. "But you can`t have `em back."

       "Why not?" Jesus grabbed a nearby biker by his shirt and pulled him towards him. He forcefully threw him into a nearby table, knocking him to the floor. The other bikers now seemed hesitant to approach him. Jesus stood there in place, his arms folded.

       Bruno glanced at the others. "Because we like `em. We need `em to kill the bogeys."

       "I see. I need them to kill the bogeys, too." Jesus noticed there was an array of weapons on a nearby buffet. He saw his two knives, Daryl`s knife and belt, the two hunting rifles they had brought with them, several handguns, various other rifles, and much to his astonishment, a crossbow. "So, if you don`t mind I`ll just go over to that table and take them. They are mine. You have stolen them."

       "That`s what you think," Bruno said and moved towards Jesus. It didn`t matter that the man was twice as big, Jesus knew he could handle him easily. Bruno lunged for him and Jesus ducked, his arms reaching over his head and flipping Bruno over. The man landed with a thud and grunted in pain. Two more bikers approached Jesus as he went closer to the buffet. Without a second thought Jesus grabbed both of them and knocked their heads together. Snake moved in his direction, but all Jesus had to do was raise his arms up in a karate stance.

       "Come on," Jesus said gesturing to Snake. The man stood in place. "No? Alright." Jesus then casually went over to the table and picked up his knives and Daryl`s. He put his in their sheaths never taking his eyes off the bikers. He moved over to the door without incident, the bikers just staring at him. "Remember, I did ask nicely."

       "You just get out of here and take your Kung Fu fighting with you." Bruno got up off the floor.

       Jesus spread out his arms. "Whatever." He gave them a raised middle finger and walked away, a smile on his face.

                                                                                                                               *****

       Even though Bruno was one of the trouble-making bikers and fancied himself the unofficial leader of the Skyline Cabin community, he was the one who often brought Aliya the medical supplies she needed, most likely because she treated a lot of their injuries. But there was another aspect to her that made them respect her. Bruno glanced into the room where Daryl lay on the bed. "Ain`t he using up too much of our supplies? He`s a stranger."

       "He`s a human being," Aliya replied. "What do you have for me?"

       "We found some more stuff at one of those out-of-the-way places." He placed the box he was carrying on a table.

       She looked inside it. "Looks good." She took the box into a room where the supplies were stored. 

        _"Get off of me!" Merle yelled as one of his drug suppliers tackled him to the ground. "Daryl, get him off of me."_

_Daryl reached down and grabbed the drug dealer trying to pull him off of his brother. The drug dealer reeled back and threw Daryl off of him like some old coat. This made Daryl even madder._

Bruno was distracted by Daryl`s mumbling and tossing and turning, and went into his room. He hated both of the strangers and didn`t like that fact valuable medical supplies were being wasted on them. He knew he hated Jesus due to the fact of what he did to him and his biker friends when he came to get his knives.

        _"You wanna try that again, asshole?!" Daryl yelled and charged towards the drug dealer._

Bruno now stood beside the bed. 

        _Daryl`s fist flew into the face of the drug dealer._

Daryl`s eyes opened and he saw Bruno standing by the bed. He roughly grabbed Bruno and a hard punch went directly into his face. Bruno was so surprised he was at a loss as to what to do for a moment. He grabbed Daryl and punched him hard and threw him to the floor. Then Bruno started kicking him.

       "Bruno! What do you think you`re doing?" Aliya said rushing in.

       Bruno looked up. "The asshole punched me right in the face. I didn`t do nothin` to him." He grabbed Daryl and slammed him against the side of the bed. "I`ll teach him to do that again!" His fist was ready to hit Daryl`s face again when he felt something cold and sharp at the back of his neck.

       "Put him down. Slowly," Jesus said, holding his knife steady, "or I`ll plunge this right into your head."

       If anything, Bruno knew better than to mess with Jesus. He slowly lowered Daryl next to the bed. Daryl was panting, his mind a myriad of images that made no sense, and sweating so hard his pajamas were soaked. His nose and lip bled from Bruno`s punch. Bruno held up his hands.

      "Okay, I ain`t gonna touch him," Bruno said.

      Jesus withdrew the knife and sheathed it. He shoved Bruno aside and knelt down beside Daryl, carefully lifting him off of the floor. Aliya helped put him back on the bed.

       _"You knocked him out. Good job, little brother."_

_Daryl kicked hard at the unconscious drug dealer. "He won`t try that again soon. Dumb-ass shit."_

      "Why`d he go and punch me like that?" Bruno asked. "You shouldn`t have stopped me."

      "He`s delirious with a high fever. He`s not aware of what he`s doing," Aliya said as she checked over Daryl`s new injuries. "Get out of here."

       Bruno knew by the tone of her voice that she was not to be messed with at that moment. Without another word he left.

      "How is he?" Jesus asked.

      "Bruno bruised him pretty good." She wiped away the blood on Daryl`s face. "All he does is react, never thinks." She felt Daryl`s pulse. "Rapid, but strong. He is putting up a fight. The next twenty-four hours should tell us if he`s going to make it or not."

      Jesus leaned over and gave Daryl a quick kiss on the lips and brushed his hand through Daryl`s hair. "I won`t leave his side."

      Aliya raised an eyebrow then nodded, a slight understanding smile on her face.

                                                                                                                               *****

        _"Why is is it so hot?" Daryl asked as he looked up from the chair he was lounging in._

_"It`s a dick of a sun alright." Abraham, in fatigues, sat on the beach chair next to him smoking his cigar._

_Daryl hated swimming pools. Especially when they were full of walkers. "I`m goin` in and killin` every last one of them things."_

_"You can`t," Beth said as she danced by him in a tutu doing ballet moves._

_"Why?" Daryl asked._

_"Because you can`t swim." Hershel sat on a beach chair next to Abraham, milking a cow._

_Daryl found himself in the rapids of a river. It was night and he couldn`t see a thing. "Hey! Someone!" The water took him closer to rocks._

_"Grab my hand!" It was Shiva talking to him and reaching out a paw. Daryl reached for it and was pulled up only to find himself standing in the middle of traffic. He aimed his crossbow at each passing vehicle ready to shoot at anyone who stopped._

_"Kill me first!" Morgan yelled waving to him beside a stoplight._

_Daryl took aim and let a bolt fly. Rick stood at the gate of Alexandria and caught the bolt in his hand._

_"You can`t kill snowflakes like that." Rick tossed it to Michonne, who caught it and the bolt turned into a dove that flew away towards a lighthouse tower with the words MOTHER DICK painted in red letters going down the side._

_Daryl lowered his crossbow and found himself face to face with Dr. Edward Jenner as a walker._

_"I`m not going to let you out, Daryl. You have to get out on your own," Jenner said._

_Daryl was now in the prison cell at The Sanctuary. He was still in his regular clothes. The door was open and Dwight walked by. "That`s my vest, asshole!" He ran after Dwight who only ignored him. When Daryl reached out for Dwight his arms went around Maggie._

_"Hey, Daryl, let`s make out," Maggie said brightly. Daryl let go of her and retreated. He turned and ran into a wall of fire._

_"Daryl," a soft familiar voice called to him._

_"Where are you?" Daryl asked._

_"I`m here," the voice replied._

"I`m here, Daryl," Jesus said. "Come on. Come out of this." Daryl had been strapped down to the bed in order to avoid any more incidents in case Bruno showed up again. Jesus dipped a cloth into some ice cold water and wiped Daryl`s brow. Daryl writhed, the images he saw confined only to his mind. Jesus looked out the window and noticed that it was snowing quite heavily. He wanted Daryl whole and well again. He wanted to get out of this place. But they had no place to go. He could hear  _'Emotion in Motion'_ by Ric Ocasek coming from Aliya`s CD player in her quarters, causing him to feel sleepy, as the snow sheathed over the rest of the cold bleak night.

         _He suddenly woke up when there was a change in rhythm in Daryl`s breathing. Daryl seemed to be struggling to breathe. He was still sweating from the fever so his clothing and skin were drenched._

_"Daryl?" Jesus said softly. Daryl`s breathing became more and more irregular. "Aliya!"_

_Aliya rushed into the room and immediately saw the situation. "Something is constricting his throat," she said. She went over to the cabinet and got out a scalpel and a tube. "He`ll need a tracheotomy." Her hand hovered above Daryl`s throat when all of a sudden he opened his eyes, sat up, gave one last gasp, and collapsed back down on the bed. His breathing stopped completely._

_"What`s happening?" Jesus asked. The desperation in his voice was strong._

_Aliya listened for a heartbeat but found none. "I`m sorry," she said after a long pause. "Daryl`s dead."_

_"No, you`re wrong. He was fighting. He was going to pull through."_

_She placed her hand on Jesus`s arm. "He didn`t make it." She looked directly into his eyes. "You know what you must do now."_

_"I can`t."_

_"You must. Daryl would want you to do it. Only you."_

_Jesus burst into uncontrollable sobs. He then kissed Daryl`s cold lips. Slowly he withdrew one of his knives. "I`m sorry, my love." Closing his eyes Jesus gently pushed the knife into the back of Daryl`s skull. He quickly withdrew it and threw it across the room before running out until he stood in the icy cold snowy night air screaming until his lungs hurt as much as his heart._

_"Paul," he heard a voice call out._

_*****_

Daryl opened his eyes unsure if he was still hallucinating due to the strangeness of the room. He realized he had been strapped by his wrists to the hospital bed. He yanked hard at one of them, but it didn`t come loose. It was then he noticed Jesus. "Paul. Wake up, prick," he said softly.

        At the sound of Daryl`s voice Jesus opened his eyes. He sleepily stared at him, realizing he had only been dreaming. "Will you look at that? The asshole is still with us."

       "Why the hell am I strapped to this bed?" Daryl`s voice was hoarse, but he was sounding more coherent than he had been in the past couple of days.

       At that point Aliya came in and noticed that Daryl was awake. She was immediately at his side with the thermometer and stuck it in his mouth. She smiled. "Fever`s gone down. You`re going to be alright."

       "I`m awful thirsty," Daryl said.

       "We`ll get you taken care of right away," Aliya said. Daryl yanked at the straps again. "I think you can undo those now." She left the room.

       "In for a little S & M?" Jesus asked wiggling his eyebrows as he undid the first strap.

       "Very funny," was Daryl`s only reply.

                                                                                                                               *****

       Aliya came in to pick up the tray of food that she had brought in and found Daryl fast asleep. She placed her hand on his forehead and felt that it was cool. Jesus poked his head in from the hallway where his room was located.

       "He ate it all," Jesus said.

       "Marwan always told me I was a good cook. He really needed some solid food in him." She looked out the window and noticed that it was getting dark, then she reached over and shut off the light. "He`s getting his strength back quicker than I anticipated."

       "Daryl Dixon is one of the strongest people I know." Jesus now stood beside the bed.

       "Let`s give him a good night`s sleep." She put her finger to her lips and quietly left the room.

       "Sweet dreams, my love." Jesus softly kissed Daryl`s forehead then retreated into his own room.

                                                                                                                               *****

_Merle took a long drink of whiskey from the bottle in his hand as he and Daryl watched TV at the house of one of their many scattered friends. It was located deep in the woods with a satellite dish on the roof. Somewhere in the house was the sound of a baby crying. He offered the bottle to Daryl, but he didn`t want any. On the TV was a female reporter in Atlanta, helicopters could be seen hovering in the background._

_"Police say the incident took place when the shopping center was crowded. It is believed the man who threatened the shoppers didn`t speak, but made some kind of strange croaking-like sound. This is similar to an incident that occurred in Freedom Park where five of the so-called 'creatures' were spotted. Here is the footage of that incident." The screen changed to several police officers shooting at five of the 'creatures' before cutting back to the reporter. "It is also believed that the 'creatures', called 'walkers' by some, are those who have died from a strange virus and somehow come back to life. We are still waiting for confirmation from the CDC. Other states and cities have also reported this phenomenon and both the national guard and army are on the alert. There is evidence that this new disease may be spreading worldwide. We will have updates on this story as they come to us. This is Phyllis Evans, reporting live from the Phipps Plaza shopping center."_

_Merle muted the volume of the TV with the remote when it went to a commercial. "Craziest shit I`ve heard in a long time." He noticed how quiet Daryl had become. "What`s wrong, little brother?"  
_

_"They ain`t gonna stop it. This thing, this disease is gonna take out a lot of people. Why is the CDC so silent about it?"_

_Merle shrugged. "Maybe they don`t even know what it is. Maybe they had somethin` that got out. You know you can`t trust the government." Neither of them noticed that the baby had stopped crying._

_Daryl got up and went over to a window, gazed at the woods surrounding the house. "What if it ain`t that, Merle? Maybe nature is fightin` back. You and me, we take what we need, leave the rest alone."_

_"Well, those environmental jerks are always talkin` about how the world is goin` to hell, how man is exploitin` the Earth." Merle emitted a short laugh. "Far be it for me to say maybe they`re right."_

_Daryl turned to look at him. "And if they are, what about us?"_

_"We can take care of ourselves. If it comes down to survival, we`ll take what we need from all the fools that think they have made it. You just wait and see." Merle got up. "I gotta go take a shit in the woods."_

_Daryl looked around. "You see where Matt went?"_

_"Haven`t seen him since he took Rita to the back of the house for some in and out, uh huh." Merle licked his lips and swayed his hips, then he left._

_Daryl sat back down and stared at the mute TV. He glanced at his crossbow which was leaning next to him by an end table. He picked it up and tested the new string he had just put on earlier, adjusting the tension before placing a bolt in the shaft, holding it up and peering through the sight. He glanced behind him down a hallway that led to a series of bedrooms. It was probably where Matt and Rita went, most likely to get strung out on the methamphetamine they were constantly cooking up and trying out; the sole purpose for which Merle had stopped by the house in the first place. Daryl hated the stuff just by smelling it and had no real intention on trying it. Smoking a joint every now and then was all he had the desire to do and even then he hated the experience. Daryl Dixon liked to be in control--of his mind, of the situation._

_A series of bumping noises from one of the bedrooms caused him to stand up. He knew there were two bedrooms, one for Matt and Rita, the other for their baby boy._

_"Matt? You okay? Rita?" Daryl didn`t get an answer. He decided to go down the hallway. "Matt?" There was a sound he couldn`t quite identify. He still held his crossbow, not realizing he was holding it in the down position, ready to take it up in order to shoot. It had become so much a part of him it was instinctive. "Hey, Matt, answer me, man. Rita?" The sounds were coming from the bedroom at the end of the hallway. He slowly rounded the corner and peered inside the room. The figure of Matt was bent over Rita, who was on the bed. Some meth and cocaine were on the stand beside the bed. They obviously had been using. Rita`s color was pale. She was clearly dead. "Matt?"_

_At the sound of Daryl`s voice Matt stopped bending over Rita. Her abdomen was open and her internal organs were everywhere. What surprised Daryl the most was Matt. His eyes were opaque and lifeless and his face bloodied from eating Rita. It didn`t take Daryl long to realize Matt had turned into one of those 'creatures', those 'walkers'. He held his crossbow up and took aim. Matt staggered towards him making the gurgling noise, ready to take Daryl down. Daryl coolly let the bolt fly and it went into Matt`s head. He took a couple more steps and fell down dead at Daryl`s feet. Daryl then heard another noise and he saw that the same thing had happened to Rita. Even though her insides had been eaten she rose from the bed and instantly noticed Daryl. He quickly grabbed the bolt out of Matt`s head and loaded it into the crossbow. As Rita got up and staggered towards him he shot her in the head the same way he had done to Matt._

_"Son-of-a-bitch," Daryl muttered as he kicked at the two corpses. He retrieved his bolt and went into the bedroom across the hall to check on the baby. What he saw in the crib came as a complete surprise. The baby had obviously died and now turned. It kicked back and forth in the crib making the strange noise. It noticed Daryl and reached out towards him. Daryl stood there for a moment then took out his knife. He held it above the baby`s head and closing his eyes he plunged it into the boy`s skull. Not wanting to think any more about what had just happened he went back into the living room and sat down in the chair somewhat disturbed by the entire incident. Fifteen minutes later Merle returned. Daryl was smoking a cigarette and taking a couple nips from Merle`s bottle as he inspected the bloodied bolt._

_"What the hell? You get a snake or somethin`?"_

_"No. Matt and Rita. The baby. They`re dead."_

_"Dead?" A look of concern crossed Merle`s face. He wasn`t sure if he should ask the next question. "Did you kill them?"_

_"No. They were already dead. Overdosed. The baby must have died from neglect." Daryl looked directly at his older brother. "They turned into those things we saw on TV. Matt ate up Rita, but she still turned into one." Daryl`s voice was distant, still somewhat in shock at what he had done._

_There was a look of disbelief on Merle`s face. "And you shot them?"_

_"Head shot is the kill shot. I had to put a knife in the baby`s head." He took his rag that he always had in his back pocket and cleaned off the bolt, then the knife. "They`re in the back bedrooms if you want to take a look."_

_Merle did just that and upon looking at the dead Matt and Rita as well as the baby he knew Daryl was telling the truth. He knew his brother didn`t like his drug contacts, but he never had to resort to murder. He went back into the living room. "We gotta get out of here. Go someplace where we can ride this thing out."_

_"There ain`t no place to ride this thing out," Daryl said calmly. He stood up and slung his crossbow over his back. "Don`t you get it? The world is gonna be gone, man. Just gone." He grabbed the bag that held his clothes and other meager possessions. "Pack up some food and water. We`re gonna need it."_

Daryl turned restlessly in the bed, but did not wake up.

                                                                                                                               *****

       "All these crazy shit visions and dreams," Daryl said to himself as Jesus pushed him in a wheelchair on a short tour of the administration building that housed the infirmary. It was the old office and administration of the resort as well as a large lobby area where they were now. "I wanna get back on my feet."

       "Aliya said not until that leg heals. You wouldn`t want me to tie you down again." Jesus knew how impatient Daryl could be. "But just think of all the things we can do lying in bed. Aliya had no objection to that."

       Daryl smiled slightly. "I just might take you up on that offer."

       Jesus leaned over and they kissed. "Mm, I missed you."

       "We can blow each other right here if you want."

       Jesus looked around the large room. "When we get back. My room. I feel too exposed here."

       "You`re on."

       They stopped and Jesus sat down on an overstuffed sofa. Windows practically surrounded the room exposing the vista of mountain scenery and snow that stretched on to infinity. All was peaceful until they heard the sound of the roaring of motorcycles. A group of five of the bikers took their bikes up a slope and started doing crazy moves and jumps, sliding all over the snow, falling as they screamed and shouted.

       "Fools to waste fuel. Good thing it`s cold and the walkers are frozen. This camp isn`t all that secure. On one of my walks I noticed the fence is down or weakened. It`s only a matter of time," Jesus said.

       Daryl watched the bikers and snorted. "Dumb-asses. They`re gonna wreck up them bikes doin` shit like that. Why do they have all the weapons?"

       "Aliya explained it to me that the bikers just showed up one day, bullied the people who were left here, took all the weapons they found. They also have weapons from scavenging. Bruno is the one who thinks he`s in charge, but nobody really is. The people here aren`t that organized."

       "At least you got your knives back."

       Jesus laughed slightly. "Yeah, my knives are nothing against their firepower."

       "Why do they leave Aliya alone? Is it because she`s the doctor?"

      "That`s the part that`s still a mystery to me." Jesus leaned closer to him and lowered his voice. "Daryl, there`s more to her than meets the eye. On the outside she`s this gentle reformed Muslim woman with a daughter named Nura who knows the medical arts better than a lot of doctors. But the bikers respect her. Why? Wouldn`t she be the first person they would try to take down?"

       "Yeah."

       Jesus nodded. "She must have something on those bikers."

       "Whatever it is, I don`t care, because as soon as I`m on my feet I`m gonna kick Bruno`s ass for what he did." Daryl`s tone was adamant. "Come on, let`s go to your room."

       "I`m for that." Jesus got up and quickly wheeled him out of the lobby.

       They didn`t see Nura peeking at them over the railing from the level above.

                                                                                                                               *****

       "Mama, what does 'blow' mean?" Nura asked as she went to where she and Aliya lived which was close to the infirmary area.

       "Blow? You know what it means. The wind blows."

       "No, when two men blow."

       Aliya`s mouth gaped open. "It`s something private. Have you been eavesdropping again?" 

       Nura didn`t say anything. "Mr. Dixon wants to kick the bikers` asses."

       Aliya put her hand over Nura`s mouth. "We don`t say words like that." She smiled to herself, but didn`t let Nura see it.

       "I`m sorry," Nura said her voice muffled by her mother`s hand. Aliya took away her hand. "They also think there`s more to you than just a nice lady who`s a nurse."

       Aliya brushed her daughter`s cheek. "They are very perceptive men. I like them. They`re fighters. Just like your father was. Why don`t you go wash up." She shooed her daughter away. As soon as she was gone Aliya opened a drawer in the bar she used in her kitchen and extracted an intricately carved eight inch scimitar dagger still in its sheath and on its belt.

                                                                                                                               *****

        Daryl lay on his side as Aliya poked at the bruise that Bruno had given him during their exchange. He winced when she touched a sensitive spot. "Hurt?" she asked. Daryl nodded. She glanced at Jesus who was assisting her. "Just as I thought. It`s a hairline fracture to your rib."

        "I`m gonna get that bastard as soon as..."

        Aliya shushed him by putting her hand over his mouth then shook her finger at him. "You`ll have plenty of time. Heal up first." She smiled slightly as she watched Jesus try to keep in his laughter as she gently put the t-shirt back down. "It seems I owe the two of you an apology."

       Jesus helped Daryl back into a reclining position. "What for?" he asked.

      "Nura has a tendency to eavesdrop. I guess she overheard some of your--more explicit conversation."

      "Shit," Jesus said as he and Daryl exchanged knowing looks. "I`m sorry. We try to keep that kind of thing private."

      Aliya laughed. "It`s not your fault. It`s hers. And, I`m not offended by who you are, even if a lot of others in my religion are."

      "She`s a smart kid," Daryl said.

      "Nura needs to be in this world. I don`t like it, but she needs to grow up fast. I don`t know how to get her to understand that." She looked from one to the other. "May I open up my heart to you?"

      "Sure," Jesus said. Daryl nodded.

      "Even though I give medical treatment here the people do not trust me. I`m a Muslim. My husband was going to university to study electrical engineering. I was employed here preparing to become a doctor when everything happened." Aliya tried to hold back tears. "We were planning a pilgrimage to Mecca the year after the breakout. Since this thing happened all over the world, the people we know are gone or are walking around as mindless corpses. Maybe there is no Mecca anymore."

       "But they still hate you for what you are?" Daryl asked. She nodded. "That`s stupid."

       "Yes," Aliya said. "I told you that Marwan was killed by bogeys. In a way that is true. He was deliberately thrown into them. The two men who did it are no longer here. With the help of Allah, I killed them. It was Kifarah, what you give you get back. It`s much more complicated, but that is the simple definition." She reached over and squeezed Daryl`s hand. "I hope we are friends because I have none here. The bikers rely on me because they find ways to hurt themselves. The others are exploited by them, but because they don`t trust me--." She moved aside her lab smock and showed them the scimitar dagger which was now around her waist. "This was my husband`s. It is what I killed the two men with. I`ve also killed a lot of bogeys with it." She looked directly at Daryl. "Marwan was a freedom fighter and he was tortured and beaten in a Syrian prison for two years. He also bore scars on his body."

       "That must cause you a lot of pain, too," Daryl said.

        Aliya nodded. "Did this Negan cause your scars?"

       "No. It was my father," Daryl said his voice barely audible.

       "There were many fathers in my country that were the same way." She looked at both of them. "I see pain in both of you, the pain of guilt."

       "We`ve made some terrible mistakes that got some people very close to us killed," Jesus said quietly. "Misjudgment on my part, Daryl`s temper. Daryl could have died in Negan`s prison."

       "Listen closely to me, both of you. This may not mean much to you, then again it may help. 'The guilt you feel after committing a sin is also a mercy from Allah, some hearts have been hardened so much that sins mean nothing to them.' No one`s conscience is clear, especially now. As long as you still have a conscience, you are doing quite well, don`t you think?"

        Jesus and Daryl exchanged looks.

       "We do what we have to do," Daryl said. "Sometimes there just don`t seem no other way."

       "Yes, I can understand that," Aliya said. "How does one start the world over again? Hopefully better than the one before. I like the two of you. I also know when you are healed, Daryl, the two of you won`t stay."

       "We will find some way to pay you back," Jesus said. Daryl nodded once.

                                                                                                                               *****

       "This must be the cabin King Ezekiel was talking about," Michonne said to Rick. "Looks like it`s been abandoned."

       "Someone was here recently." The cold wind blew snow through the front door. Rick adjusted his coat so he could see everything better. His police officer instincts started to kick in as he looked for clues. The first place they went to was the shed. A frozen dead rabbit still hung from one of the hooks. He noticed several pelts and feathers tossed aside in a corner.

       "Daryl isn`t it?" Michonne asked.

       Rick nodded. "Let`s go back inside the cabin."

       They did so and Michonne closed the door. She saw a shirt draped over the edge of the sofa. "This belongs to Jesus."

       It was still cold and Rick noticed that the wind blew in from a broken window. "This was broken outwards, like someone kicked it."

       Michonne noticed the shard of glass and the blood. "Someone got hurt, too."

       Rick carefully removed the shard to inspect it. "They must have escaped from some Saviors through here." He noticed some fabric caught in the groove. It was dark in color. "My guess is it was Daryl who got hurt."

       "They couldn`t have gotten far. Where would they go?"

       "Whatever tracks they left in the snow have been obliterated. They could have gone anywhere. I doubt they would head towards The Sanctuary. King Ezekiel said no one from The Kingdom has spotted them. One or both could be dead." Rick kept his expression even. The thought of Daryl Dixon and/or Jesus being dead was one he didn`t want to think about.

       "Or walkers." He looked at her when Michonne said that and nodded slowly. "If they`re walkers they might be nearby."

       "I refuse to think that way, Michonne." Rick let the scrap of material blow away in the wind. He noticed the one closet and opened the door. There was a pile of rubble in the back. He almost closed the door when he saw something familiar. Removing the detritus he found Daryl`s crossbow.

       "They must have left in a hurry if that got left behind," Michonne said.

       "We`ll take it to Hilltop. Hide it there for now. Maybe--maybe Daryl will come back for it."

       Michonne placed a comforting hand on his arm. "He will. We can`t stop believing that."

       "Let`s salvage what we can and get out of here." After looking around and gathering what they could, both he and Michonne couldn`t get out of the abandoned cabin fast enough.

                                                                                                                               *****

       Daryl was reclining on the exam table, the bandage off of his leg and Aliya poking her fingers around the still stitched cut and listening with her stethoscope. Jesus sat silent in a nearby chair. She took the tips out of her ears. "Circulation is excellent. It`s healing just as I expected."

       Daryl exchanged a small smile of relief with Jesus. "Don`t hurt too much."

       "That`s good, too. You`re very lucky, Daryl. You could have lost your life with that infection. If not your life, then your leg."

       "Can I walk on it yet?"

       "I know how anxious you are. I think today we can start exercises to get you on your feet again. If you use crutches, a little walk around the building will do you good as long as you don`t put any weight on it." She grabbed a bandage and started to bandage it up.

       As soon as she was finished Jesus accompanied Daryl to the lobby where they could enjoy the view. The snow was light flurries and some of the other residents were about their activities. The bikers were also outside, but stuck to the recreation hall ignoring everyone else.

      "I still feel like I`m in some kind of prison," Daryl said.

      "But you`re healing, Daryl. And I mean more than just the cut."

      Daryl took a moment to think about what Jesus had just said. He did feel more at peace. Somehow the anger had become more focused instead of chaotic. Why had he been so afraid of falling in love in the past? Why was feeling so good about something such a bad thing? He sighed, realizing that perhaps he should just let his feelings flow with the love he felt for Paul. "I could use a smoke about now."

      "Sorry, we were in a hurry, I wasn`t thinking," Jesus said half-jokingly. "To be honest, so could I."

      "You don`t smoke."

      "I used to. I quit after things went to hell. Just didn`t feel like taking up the habit again."

      Daryl shook his head and laughed slightly. "I`ll be damned."

      When Jesus looked in Daryl`s eyes he saw something different than what he had seen before. The sadness hadn`t completely disappeared, but there was now a level of stillness, a contentedness that was both tranquil and lethal. But he understood Daryl`s restlessness well since he felt restless too. "We`ll be out of here soon." He gently placed a kiss on Daryl`s lips and after kissing for a couple minutes they stood there in a tight embrace.

      "Rick`s gotta be real worried by now. And the others." They parted when the crutches became a little to much of a burden so Daryl sat down.

      "I know. They may even think we`re dead."

      They turned at the sound of footsteps and Nura ran in. "Mr Rovia, my mom needs your help. Mr. Kinnon slipped and fell. He`s up in his cabin."

      "I`ll be alright," Daryl said. Jesus placed his hand on his shoulder and left. Daryl was silent as Nura sat down beside him.

      "I saw your devils," she said. "I thought you were one of the bikers."

      "I like bikes, but I ain`t one of them," Daryl said.

      "I wish they`d go away. They make fun of me when I walk over to the school. Tell me I should go where all the other terrorists are."

      Daryl could feel his temper rising at the thought of the bikers picking on the child. "They`re idiots. Don`t pay any attention to them."

      Nura looked directly into Daryl`s eyes. "They scare me sometimes, especially that Bruno. Sometimes he looks at me kind of funny, and the one they call Snake."

      Daryl could instantly figure out her meaning. "They try to do anythin` you come to me."

      "Okay." Nura smiled at him. "I like you, Mr. Dixon. You remind me of my father."

      "I do?" Daryl was somewhat confused by this.

      "He was tough, too. Didn`t put up with people`s--I`m not supposed to say the word."

      "Bullshit."

      "Yeah, that word."

      Daryl stared hard and unwavering at the biker compound. The longer he was off of his feet, the more his anger was building up.

                                                                                                                               *****

       After about an hour of sitting and using the crutches, and with Nura as his willing assistant, Daryl returned to his room to relax. Jesus and Aliya had not yet returned from their emergency, so they were alone in the administration building, which was quiet. Nura threw a log in the fireplace and poked at the fire as Daryl got back into the bed. She finished with the fireplace and picked up some items on a nearby table.

       "Here`s your book and here`s your water," she said placing the items on the small table beside the bed. "I`ll be in my room studying if you need anything."

       "Thanks."

       "Chin up, Mr. Dixon." As she left Daryl just shook his head with amusement and grabbed his book, ready to put his leg up, which was throbbing slightly from the activity, but he knew if he put it up for a while it would stop. He had read for about five minutes when he thought he heard a door open.

       "In here, Paul," Daryl said. There was no answer. He shrugged and went back to his book.

       In the living quarters where she and her mother stayed, Nura was taking some of her textbooks into her room when she felt someone watching her. She turned around thinking it was her mother but came face to face with one of the bikers. It was Snake. He was called that due to the long snake tattoo he had along his arm with the head of the snake on the side of his neck.

       "Where`s your mother?" he asked in a raspy voice.

       Nura didn`t answer. She didn`t like any of the bikers. Bruno and Snake especially. Being alone in the same room with him made her more cautious and frightened.

       "Gertie sent me over. She wants your mother to check the baby."

       "Tell her to come here," Nura said breaking her silence. Since it was something medical she thought it would be okay to speak.

       "She can`t. She hurt her toe." Snake came closer to her. "You alone? You`re sure a pretty little girl."

       Nura backed away from him. "You need to go."

       "Just like your mother aren`t you? Always telling us what to do. A little terrorist brat. You`re old enough to know about certain things aren`t you." Snake came closer to her fiddling with the fly on his pants. "You scream, I`ll hurt you even more."

       Snake suddenly found himself on the receiving end of a hard knock. He turned around to notice that Daryl stood behind him, holding one crutch. He was leaning on the counter with one hand in order to keep his balance while standing on one foot and wielding the crutch with the other. Daryl whirled the crutch around one more time and knocked Snake to the ground unconscious.

       "You alright?" he asked. Nura nodded. At that moment Jesus and Aliya returned.

       "What happened here?" Aliya asked observing the scene.

       "Snake sneaked in here," Nura said. "He was going to hurt me." She hugged her mother hard.

       Jesus helped Daryl hop over to sit in a chair.

      Aliya turned the unconscious Snake over. "He`s Bruno`s right hand man. Called Snake for obvious reasons. What did he want?"

       "He said something about Gertie and the baby," Nura said.

       Aliya nodded. "Oh, yes. That. I suppose Bruno did something to it again." She looked at Daryl. "You okay?"

       "I`m fine, but Bruno and this bastard ain`t gonna be."

                                                                                                                               *****

       Aliya had fixed them a fine dinner that evening, all dining in her living quarters. Afterwards everyone retired to their separate rooms for the night. Jesus came into the infirmary room and stood in the doorway, leaning on the frame. Daryl was still awake and just staring at the ceiling.

      "You know, when I was an orderly I used to listen to what all the medical staff gossiped about in the quiet hours." He now had Daryl`s attention. "I remember them saying that the partners, spouses, girl/boyfriends were always welcome to have sex with the patients, if they were up for it. It helped the immune system, healing--the overall general mental health of the patient in order to get well. You, my friend, are in need of some attention."

      "Ya think?"

      "Yeah, I think." He paused. "My room has a double bed. So, are you up for it?"

      Daryl slowly swung around the bed and grabbed his crutches. "Ya think right." He hobbled his way into Jesus`s room which was down a narrow hallway. As soon as he sat down on the edge of the bed he tossed the crutches aside. Jesus eased him down on the bed and they kissed hungrily and hard.

                                                                                                                               *****

**Chapter 5**

       "Daryl, I think today..." Aliya stopped when she didn`t find Daryl in the hospital bed that next morning. "Daryl?" She noticed the crutches were missing so maybe he had gone to the bathroom. She waited several minutes, but he never showed up. She went down the hallway and knocked on the door of Jesus`s room.

       "Who is it?" Jesus softly asked from the other side of the door.

       "Aliya. I can`t find Daryl."   

       Jesus opened the door a crack. "It`s okay. He`s in here with me."

      Aliya flashed an understanding smile. "Maybe it`s okay from now on, huh? Just be sure to elevate his leg and keep the weight off of it." She licked her lips, laughing slightly. "Enjoy yourselves."

      Jesus nodded, grinning. "You won`t get any arguments from either of us." He softly closed the door. After doing so he threw off his bathrobe and climbed back into bed beside Daryl.  

      "Everything alright?" Daryl was still sleepy from all of their nightly activities.

      "Everything`s fine. Now." He gently stroked the side of Daryl`s face. "Four weeks ago I thought I had lost you for good. Even I had reached the point of giving up."

      "I thought you were the optimist," Daryl said with a look of amusement.

      "Oh no. Not as often as I would like and as others would think."

      "You introduced us to other groups of survivors. Hilltop. The Kingdom."

      "The Saviors." A look of guilt crossed Jesus`s face. If there was one thing he was sorry for in his life it was that.

      "You ain`t responsible for that. They would have found us someday." Daryl wanted nothing more than to let Jesus know he didn`t personally hold him responsible. "I blew up their motorcycle thugs with an RPG." Daryl leaned over and they kissed.

       "They still don`t even know it was you."

       "They`re loss." Daryl smiled slightly. "We`re here now. I`m gonna be fine. Just some more healin` up is all."

       Jesus glanced out the window at all the snow that had piled up, at least three feet since they had first come to the Skyline Cabin community. "Then what? I`m not sure we can get out of here until spring. There are no snow plows anymore so roads are impassable. Cross country is completely out of the question. Rick and the others must have given up on us by now."

       "No, not Rick." Daryl`s hands gently stroked up and down Jesus`s body. "He`ll look for us even if he thinks we`re walkers."

       "Rick`s your brother." Jesus smiled knowing how close of a friendship Daryl and Rick had to each other. "You lose one brother and gain another."

       "Yeah. Merle had a lot of faults, I never had any doubt in that. I still miss him."

       Jesus was silent. "We will have to make a decision, Daryl. We can stay, but I don`t think it would settle with either of us. If we leave we have to face Negan with our hearts set, our minds focused. We fight."

       "Fighting may be the only choice we got."

       "One or both of us may not come out of it."

       "I know." He kissed Jesus deeply. "We don`t have to make any decisions now."

       "No. Except this." Jesus turned over on his side until they were both facing each other. Their arms were soon exploring as their lovemaking became more intense and intimate.

                                                                                                                               *****

       Rick stared out from the watch tower at the gate of Alexandria with overwhelming sadness, a feeling that he could not seem to shake. Michonne climbed the ladder and stood next to him. Only a snow covered landscape of burnt houses and spiked cars stood before them, enhancing the bleakness they both now felt.

       "I think we should start rethinking our strategy when the thaw comes," Rick said.

       Michonne wasn`t quite sure what he meant. "Why?"

       "It worked because we had Daryl and Jesus in the mix. I think we need to assume that we may never see them again."

       Michonne`s eyes widened. "You mean you`re giving up?"

       "Not giving up. Just rethinking things over. Planning what our next moves should be without them."

       She blinked back tears not ready to deal with the thought that Daryl Dixon and Paul 'Jesus' Rovia would no longer be with them. "They`ve got to be out there somewhere, Rick. You know both of them are survivors. They would have found a way."

       "You don`t know how much I want to believe that." Rick paused to look behind him. Residents were going about their business as if nothing had changed, just trying to get through the winter as best as they could. "When we were at The Kingdom I had a chance to look around at distant landscapes, trying to speculate which direction they could have gone. I don`t think they went towards the coast, not after our experience with Oceanside. They wouldn`t go in the direction of The Sanctuary. There`s one other possibility, but it`s a long shot. The mountains."

       "They`d be crazy this time of year. It snows more there than down here."

       "I know. But right now it`s my last best hope." Rick sighed. "Things will be starting to thaw soon. That means the walkers will be out and about again. Maybe we`ll know for sure then."

       Michonne rested her head on Rick`s shoulder. If he didn`t believe anymore, she would most certainly try.

                                                                                                                              *****

       Jesus wished he had a bottle of wine to celebrate when the stitches were finally removed from Daryl`s cut and the crutches were ditched for temporary use of a wooden cane, but he knew that would soon be going by the wayside as well. They settled for a long romantic walk on the wooden walkways which had been shoveled, enjoying the crisp cold fresh twilight air as a rising full moon hung low in the east, causing a sparkle dance of diamonds in the snow.

       "I feel like I can breathe again," Daryl said. "It got cramped in there." He also had his belt on with his knife around his waist.

       "An outdoor cat always hates the indoors." Jesus winked at him and planted a playful kiss on his cheek.

       "That`s us alright." Daryl returned the kiss by licking Jesus`s neck, tickling it with his tongue.

       Jesus took a deep breath. "Staying here feels like we finally avoided the apocalypse. We`ve seen no walkers for weeks. We`ve been well taken care of." They now held hands.

       "All this damn snow. The walkers are under it alright. I want to get back into it again, Paul. Sounds crazy, I know."

       "Not really. I think you and I needed this, Daryl. If we are going to beat Negan, Rick needs our 'A' game. This has given that back to us."

       Daryl knew Jesus was right. Still he had never shaken the feeling of being stripped of a part of himself. "I still feel lost. Dr. Denise told me I needed to face my shit. I ain`t sure where to get started."

       "Daryl, you have started," Jesus said. Daryl looked at him lost on the meaning. "You`ve accepted love in your heart. I`ve had to face my shit, too." He looked deeply into Daryl`s eyes. "I`ve accepted love in my heart and in my soul. I know that sounds corny, but it`s true."

       They stopped and Daryl reached up and stroked Jesus`s cheek as Jesus put his arm around Daryl`s waist, pausing for a moment to smooch a few open mouthed kisses. Holding hands they continued their walk in silence just wanting to enjoy each other`s company. They went around the cabins at the far end and the walkway sloped slightly with stairs in the steeper spots as it descended back into the main area.

       "I was the only survivor of a car accident that killed my parents, an eight month old baby at the time," Jesus said. "I had no other family that wanted me, so off to the group home with the rest of society`s forsaken. Nobody cared if I lived or died. I was bullied a lot, especially as I got older. My distractions were reading, weapons, and the martial arts." He and Daryl stopped walking and sat on a bench to rest. Jesus looked directly at him. "When I realized I was gay some of the others guessed and would throw empty booze bottles at me, say I`d get AIDS, constantly calling me a faggot. One day I fought back with a roommate who was bullying me and I got kicked out a few months before my eighteenth birthday. I couldn`t find a job for months so I resorted to petty theft and pick-pocketing. I worked odd jobs after that. I was an orderly at a hospital when everything went down."

       "So you saw all this first hand?"

       "As a member of the medical staff we were put on top alert. The first time I saw someone turn was also my first walker kill. When it got out of control that`s when I knew I had to leave and survive."

       "I guess it takes all kinds of ugly to survive this world."

       "You`re the first person I`ve ever been this close to. For some odd reason I felt you were someone who understood the shitty side of life all too well. Having found you makes up for all of it."

       Daryl leaned over and they kissed. Both felt a peace inside that neither had thought would be possible. That`s when they heard the bikers rev up their engines.

       "Goddammit," Daryl said quietly, feeling the moment had somewhat been ruined.

       "Son-of-a-bitch," Jesus muttered under his breath.

       Daryl didn`t say a word as he stared hard at the recreation hall. He stamped the cane into a snow drift and looked down at his leg which was causing him just to limp only slightly. It would be only a matter of days when that disappeared as well.

                                                                                                                               *****

       The steady drip-drip-drip of melting snow all around the compound was the only sound as Aliya examined the healed cut on Daryl`s leg. She smiled when she removed the stethoscope. "You, Mr. Dixon, are completely healed. I haven`t seen you limping at all in the past couple of days. There might be a scar, but most of that may disappear over time."

       Daryl looked down blinking back tears. "I never needed a lot of help from others"

       Aliya reached over and squeezed his hands. "But when you did, someone was there. Never forget that. Allah looks after all of us. Now, get out of my sight. I`m sick of seeing you." She smiled and laughed slightly.

       "And me of you," he said playfully pointing at her. He jumped down from the exam table, never feeling better. "I`m goin` for a walk."

       Jesus was outside just gazing at the scenery when he was suddenly struck by a snowball in the head. "What the hell?" He turned around and saw Daryl standing behind him wadding up another one. "Yeah, right." He bent down and started to wad up some snow himself. They both turned around when Aliya opened the door.

       "Have either of you seen Nura?" she asked.

       "Didn`t she go to the school?" Jesus asked.

       "It isn`t in session today." The two men tossed aside their snowballs and followed her inside. "I`ve looked in her room,  in the lobby, called her name. She didn`t answer."

       "Maybe she`s out playin` somewhere," Daryl said.

       "She stays around here when she does."

       Daryl noticed that her scimitar dagger in its sheath and belt were lying on the kitchen counter.

       "We`ll help you look for her," Jesus said. "Maybe she just didn`t hear you." He turned to look at Daryl, but he was gone.

       So was the dagger, the sheath now empty, but neither of them seemed to notice.

                                                                                                                               *****

        "Stop struggling."

        "Let me go."

        "Ah, come on, Bruno, she`s just a kid."

        "Shut up, Gertie. It was probably her kind that made everyone bogeys in the first place."

        The biker standing guard at the back entrance had his throat slit and a knife in his head before he even knew that someone was there. The scimitar dagger in one hand, his own knife in the other, both bloodied, Daryl was now able to take a better look at the interior of the recreation hall. It stank of human sweat, vomit, and urine, but this didn`t faze Daryl who had smelled worse, especially the walkers. He noticed the buffet table full of weapons and knew he had to get to them. He especially noticed the crossbow with a full quiver and a container of extra bolts beside it. He tucked the scimitar dagger in his belt and sheathed his own knife and in a flash was at the table, grabbing a nearby handgun, a Beretta M9 pistol. He quickly checked the magazine to see that it was fully loaded. Two bikers moved towards him trying to stop him. He shot both of them in the chest killing them instantly, then aimed the gun directly at Bruno.

        "Let her go, asshole."

        "Well-well, one of the little girls has come out to play," Bruno said turning to face Daryl. He firmly held Nura next to him.

                                                                                                                               *****

        "Daryl must have gone outside to look for her," Jesus said to Aliya as they came back into the kitchen area.

        Aliya looked around the room then noticed that her knife was missing. "Where`s my dagger?"

        "It`s not here?"

        "It was in its sheath lying on the counter."

        Jesus`s eyes widened. "We have to get to the recreation hall. Now."

        "Why?"

        "The bikers probably have Nura. Daryl`s figured it out." Always swift on his feet, Jesus took off at a run, Aliya barely keeping up with him.

                                                                                                                               *****

        One of the other bikers tried to sneak up from behind on Daryl, but he whirled around and shot him directly in the head. He quickly faced Bruno again. "I said let her go."

        "You going to kill us all, princess?"

        Gertie`s baby started to cry and she picked it up to try and quiet her.

        "Why not?" Daryl noticed another biker who was coming toward him ready to jump him and without hesitation he quickly drew and threw his knife that went directly into the biker`s head. Another approached him with a dagger and he shot it out of his hand. "I aim again it`s in the head." The biker nodded and backed off.

        Bruno held Nura closer to him. "You won`t shoot me as long as I have her this close to me."

        Daryl knew Bruno was right. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Snake draw a gun and aim it at him. "Drop it, sweetie," Snake said. "I`d shoot you just as easy as you`d shoot me."

        Daryl didn`t hesitate and aimed the gun at Snake, another shot in the head. "Guess it was too easy." He now aimed the gun at Gertie. "Put the baby down."

        "I`m her mother. Please," Gertie pleaded. "I gave you some of my blood when you needed a transfusion. Doesn`t that count for something?" 

        Daryl couldn`t help but be moved by what she said. "Alright, get over in the corner where I can see you."

        With the baby in her arms Gertie did as he asked.

        Nura struggled and Bruno slapped her hard on the face. "Hold still, you brat."

        The front door to the hall opened and Jesus and Aliya stood there taking in the scene.

        "Mama," Nura said, but Bruno clapped his hand over her mouth.

        "Well, now I have the other one. You`re done here, Aliya. I`m in charge." Bruno moved across the room. The other bikers didn`t make any moves, figuring Daryl could take care of them just as he pleased. Jesus moved his hands to get his knives, but Bruno drew his and held it at Nura`s throat. "Don`t you try anything, fairy-boy. One move and I slit her throat." Jesus moved his hands away from his knives. Bruno turned around to look for Daryl, but he was gone. "Where`d he go? Anyone see him leave?"

        No one knew. Jesus and Aliya had their attention on Bruno and hadn`t noticed either.

        "Come on, Bruno, give it up," Gertie said.

        "Just let her go and we`ll leave you alone," Jesus said.

        "I`m not letting anyone go." He held the knife tighter to Nura`s throat. "I`m the one in charge around here. I only let you think you were, Aliya, because you had all that medical knowledge." He looked around but still saw no sign of Daryl. There was something strange about the buffet table where the weapons were located, as if something was missing. "Hey, princess, I know you`re around here somewhere!" No answer. "Just what I thought, pansy can`t handle a tough situation." He burst into laughter. Then he faced Jesus and Aliya, the knife still at Nura`s throat. "And look at you. Afraid of me, too, fairy-boy?"

        "Terrified," Jesus said evenly. His eyes quickly glanced behind Bruno.

        "Yeah. You are. You and the Muslim bitch. Everyone here is afraid of me. Everyone here wants me to be the leader now." Bruno was ready to move the knife in order to slit Nura`s throat, but before he could do so, a bolt from the crossbow went directly into his head. Nura got up and quickly ran to her mother.

        Two bikers tried to sneak up on Daryl, but before they could do anything, there were two rapid swishing sounds as two knives were thrown right into their heads. Jesus`s hands moved away from his now empty sheathes and he stood ready to use his martial arts moves if necessary.

        "Anyone else?" Daryl asked as he swiftly reloaded the crossbow. "We can make this a bloodbath if you want." The fierceness in his demeanor wasn`t lost on anyone.

       Gertie stepped towards him. "Please, Daryl. It was Bruno. It was always about him."

       "She is right," Aliya said. "Gertie and a couple of the others confided in me that they were terrified of Bruno. That`s why no one could speak out."

       Daryl looked around and noticed a couple more children, dirty and ragged. One of them looked sick. The silence in the room was overwhelming and almost suffocating. His and Jesus`s eyes met briefly and Jesus nodded once. Slowly lowering the crossbow, he looked down at Bruno`s dead body and kicked it hard before spitting on it. He went over and retrieved his knife out of the dead biker`s head wiping the blood on the dead biker`s clothes. Dropping the crossbow Daryl walked past Jesus and Aliya.

       "We`re the ones who live," he said to Aliya and continued on his way out of the building.

       The two bikers Daryl had shot in the chest started to get up as walkers and were quickly dispatched by Jesus when he went to retrieve his knives.

                                                                                                                               *****

       At the administration building Daryl cleaned off the scimitar dagger and put it back in its sheath. He was just sitting at the counter staring into nothing when Aliya, Nura, and Jesus returned. Nura went over to him and hugged him tightly.

       "Nura, go to your room and change for your bath. I`ll be there in a minute, " Aliya said.

       "Thank you," she whispered to Daryl and left.

       "Daryl, you did the right thing," Aliya said. "They were asking for trouble."

       "And they got it," Daryl simply said. He got up, slammed the chair he was sitting in into the counter and left for the room he and Jesus shared. He slammed the door shut.

       "Is he alright?" Aliya asked.

       "I don`t know. I`ll go in later. For now, he needs some breathing room."

       She nodded.

                                                                                                                               *****

       When it was time to eat that evening, Jesus brought in a tray into their room. Daryl was lying on the bed his eyes closed, even though he wasn`t asleep.

       "It`s hard isn`t it? We came here thinking we had left a lot behind, only to find out we didn`t."

       Daryl opened his eyes and looked at him. "I did what I had to do. I wanted to kill them all."

       "I know." Jesus set the tray down on the small dining table. "Aliya has taken official leadership of the community. The rest of the bikers have agreed to integrate into it. Sparing the rest of them was the right thing to do, Daryl."

       Daryl got up and sat down at the dining table and he and Jesus began to eat what was on the tray. "I ain`t sure if I can stop. They`re still Saviors."

       "What I would do to never think about them again." Jesus stared out at the snow. "Negan and the Saviors seem so far away. I want them to stay far away. But I can`t. Neither can you."

       "We gotta go back, Paul."

       Jesus nodded. "The snow is starting to melt. If the sun stays out like it should, enough of it will melt so we can get through. About a week would be my guess."

       "So we go back to Hilltop? The Kingdom? Maybe even Alexandria?"

       "Yeah."

       They kept eating in silence.

                                                                                                                                *****

       "Take it," Aliya said to Daryl that next day as he looked over a Browning Automatic Rifle Safari. "They are now my weapons to do with as I please." She turned to Jesus. "And you can have the M16A4 rifle you keep admiring." They were in the recreation hall which was being cleaned out, the weapons still on the buffet.

       "How do you know so much about weapons?" Daryl asked.

       "My father was in the weapons business. We won`t go over the politics of that will we?" she asked with a bit of amusement.

       "That was the world before," Jesus said, chuckling. "None of it matters anymore." He paused. "Won`t you be needing them?"

       "We have plenty left over. And take those handguns you like, too."

       Jesus was somewhat embarrassed at her noticing, but he took them anyway.

       "It`s pretty warm out today," Gertie said coming over to them bouncing the baby in her arms. "Lots of sunshine and melting. Spring will be here soon."

       "Did you find the cabin to your liking?" Aliya asked as they headed in a different direction.

       Jesus and Daryl admired their newly acquired weapons in silence.

       "Bogeys!" someone abruptly shouted from outside. "Dozens of them! They`re breaking down the fence!"

       Daryl quickly grabbed the crossbow. He and Jesus ran out the door, weapons at the ready. They saw Aliya run over to the buffet table and arms were quickly issued to the remaining bikers. Gertie gave her baby to one of the other female bikers to mind and took the handgun Aliya gave her.

       Nura and some of the other children had been playing outside. There was a crash and a walker had knocked down the nearest part of the fence followed by many others behind it. It immediately spotted Nura and was almost on her as she screamed and tried to get away. "Mr. Dixon!" she cried out. The walker grabbed her and was about to bite her when a crossbow bolt went right into its head.

       "Get behind me," Daryl shouted to Nura, the crossbow already reloaded and ready to take down the next walker. There were two walkers approaching so he had to move fast. Daryl shot one down with the crossbow, the other he whirled on, his knife at the ready and stabbed it in the head. One came up behind him and he swung around and gave it a good whack with the crossbow. He was then able to back away and reload.

       Not everyone was able to be immediately armed so Jesus took it upon himself to clear the way towards the administration building so people could take cover. He also noticed that Aliya was overwhelmed as she stabbed and shoved walkers from every direction. Moving fast he kicked down two walkers before plunging knives into their skulls. Flipping around the M16 he gunned down about four or five. Sensing one behind him he leaped in the air and knocked it down then bashed it in the head with the butt of the gun. He gave a nod to Aliya who gave him a thumbs up and she was able to usher the unarmed into safety.

       Gertie was trying to keep up with some of the injured, but walkers were approaching her and she was too busy to get to her holstered handgun. She tried to back away towards a small cabin, but five walkers were too many for her to even try and fend off. Suddenly one by one in rapid succession they fell to bullets from the rifle Daryl had, shot right through their heads. One fell on top of her and she emitted a slight scream, but realized it was dead. Daryl ran over and motioned for her to get inside the cabin before he reloaded the crossbow.

       Jesus and Daryl then stood together as a wall of about twenty walkers came directly at them. Daryl let a bolt fly and at a run ducked down and retrieved it. The crossbow was reloaded quickly and in full form Daryl fought off about six all at once, striking one with the crossbow and then slamming the skulls of two of them together. Jesus whirled in the air knocking down two at once and upon landing on the ground he stabbed one and stomped the other`s skull with his foot. He shot three more with one of the handguns.

       All around them shots were being fired as they put up a fight, with Aliya impressively stabbing at them with the scimitar dagger and kicking them with as much vigor as the two men. Gradually the walker growls became less and less until there was just one left staggering towards Gertie, who now had the handgun at the ready. She raised it and moving backwards she suddenly tripped over a small rock. The walker came closer and bent down moving its jaws ready to bite, but a crossbow bolt through its head took it down before she had a chance to shoot. She looked up and saw a bloodied and dirty Daryl Dixon looking at her.

       "Thanks." Gertie noticed his condition, being covered in walker blood." Are you hurt?" she asked.

       "Nah. Just messy," he replied, then helped her to her feet.

       "You saved my life," Gertie said. "I guess that makes us even. I`ve never seen anyone fight like you two before." Jesus had come up to stand beside Daryl. He was just as dirty and messy.

       "Do we fight like pansies?" Daryl asked somewhat sarcastically.

       "No need to get nasty," Jesus said pulling him away.

                                                                                                                               *****

       The water felt good cascading over their bodies as they stood in the shower ready to clean off the dirt and blood from the fight with the walkers. They managed to get clean between kisses and caresses. The love between them was now on such a strong foundation that they felt the could build a life from out of the ashes of the dead world. They made love afterwards, both feeling more alive than they had ever felt for a very long time.

        Jesus turned around under the covers and poked his head out. "Sixty-nine. One of my favorite numbers," Jesus said wiping cum off of his face.

       Daryl took the sheet and cleaned his own face. Their bodies became entwined and they kissed deeply. "Mine too," Daryl said softly. They encircled their arms around each other.

       "I think it`s time we moved on. Am I wrong about that feeling from you?" Jesus asked.

       "No." There was a part of Daryl that wanted to stay. He didn`t have to think about unpleasant things, but he knew he and Jesus had to be on their way.

       "Now if we can only answer the question of where do we go from here." Jesus lightly caressed Daryl`s face.

       "Maybe it don`t matter. We can call Hilltop our home. Go to Alexandria and The Kingdom when we`re needed."

       "I know Rick and Michonne are worried about where we are. Maggie, too. And Carol," Jesus said.

       For Daryl there would always be Glenn`s ghost at Hilltop, still haunting him deeply. But he knew that was where Jesus wanted to stay and Jesus`s home was Daryl`s home. "We don`t belong here, Paul."

       "I agree. Actually, I`m proud of how you handled the bikers. I know deep in your heart you knew they all didn`t need to die." Daryl turned on his side, his back to Jesus. He felt soft fingers trace the scars from his father`s beatings. "I will somehow find the love that will take away your pain." He slowly kissed each scar.

       Daryl could only lay there trying to blink back tears. He turned to look Jesus directly in the eye. "I love you, Paul," he quietly said and buried his face in the pillow sobbing softly, overwhelmed by the emotion of the moment. When he had finished he looked up. "You know somethin` else?"

       "What?"

       Daryl ran his fingers through Jesus`s hair and stroked his beard. "I almost lost my life. It`s too short to worry about things that don`t matter no more. Both of us got to put Glenn and Sasha behind."

       "I know. We can redeem ourselves and honor them by giving it all when fighting the Saviors."

       Daryl nuzzled his face close to Jesus`s. "We don`t hide our love, either. I`m gonna be proud of who I am."

       Jesus quickly kissed Daryl on the lips. "I know the world has gone to shit, but we have found something worth fighting for. Nothing can take that away."

      Daryl buried his face into Jesus`s shoulder knowing that nothing could be more powerful than that statement.

                                                                                                                               *****

        In gratitude for killing Bruno and Snake the rest of the bikers gave Daryl and Jesus two of their motorcycles and they were now securing their packs, sleeping bags, and weapons onto the vehicles. Jesus set down a gas can as he finished gassing up both bikes.

       "Once you reach Highway 66 you should have a clear roadway," Aliya said as she traced her finger down the road on the map they studied.

       "We`ll take some back roads when we get closer to D.C.," Daryl said. "We`ll be alright."

       "I wish the two of you could stay, but I understand why you have to go." She folded the map and gave it to Daryl, then she took both of his hands in hers. "I have faith that you will find what you have lost and face your pain with the inner courage you already have, Daryl. These times are sent to test us. The watchful eye of Allah will be with you." She kissed both of his cheeks. "And thank you."

       "Thank you for savin` my life," Daryl said as tears flowed down his cheeks. Jesus came and stood beside him, giving him a reassuring smile.

       Aliya took both of Jesus`s hands in hers. "You have the demeanor of a man once cut adrift. You have found an anchor. Your love for Daryl will always keep you in a safe harbor. The watchful eye of Allah will also be with you." She kissed both of his cheeks. "Thank you."

       Jesus closed his eyes. "I`ll never forget your wisdom and courage, Aliya."

      Nura came up to them carrying some flowers. "I`m sorry these are fake."

      "The real flowers will be here soon," Jesus said as he took the one she gave him and they hugged.

      Nura stood in front of Daryl and handed him a flower. "I`m going to miss you. Chin up, Mr. Dixon." They hugged tightly.

      "Take care of your mom," Daryl said.

      "I promise."

      "One more thing," Aliya said as they climbed onto their bikes. "Please keep our community a secret. There are still too many things we must do before we can reach out to others. When we are ready, maybe someday we will contact your communities."

      "I understand," Jesus said. He glanced at Daryl who simply nodded. "We won`t say a word."

      "Have a safe journey," Aliya said.

      "Ready?" Jesus asked.

      "Yeah," Daryl said.

      They leaned over and gave each other a quick kiss before both of them revved up the engines and were soon on their way. Others from the community had gathered to see them off and waved to them as they headed down the narrow paved road. Aliya wiped tears from her eyes.

       "Come on, Nura. You have schoolwork to finish and I have cabins to assign."

                                                                                                                               *****

        "Them cabins ain`t that far away," Daryl said to Jesus as they sat by a low fire outside an abandoned RV that no longer was functional, their room for the night. Daryl held the map closer to the fire to see it more clearly.

        "That map must be pretty accurate," Jesus commented. He had his arm draped around Daryl`s shoulders.

        "Better than a damn placemat," Daryl said gruffly. Jesus snorted at him.

        "It will be good to get back home at Hilltop."

        "I think you wanna see Theo again," Daryl teased

        "Oh please."

        "What are ya gonna say to him?"

        "You mean after the part where I call him a witless ignorant shitgibbon?"

        Daryl coughed as he tried to suppress a laugh. "Yeah."

        "Its a good thing for you that Gregory is no longer there. He thought you were the dirtiest and filthiest thing from a buffalo that wallows in the mud." Jesus grinned.

        "If we see him again we`ll let the walkers get him."

        "For some reason I think the walkers wouldn`t have anything to do with him, either." They both snickered, enjoying the fact that they were so much in love, a love that felt permanent and healing to their spirits.

                                                                                                                                *****

        As Jesus and Daryl stood outside the walls of Hilltop the wind had picked up and snow flurries gently blew around them. Their motorcycles were well hidden in the woods; Daryl most likely would be opting instead for the one he had personally put together while in Alexandria. They glanced at each other and nodded. Enid was on watch when they came up to the gate.

        "It`s Daryl! And Jesus!" she shouted.

       They waited for the gate to open and Enid climbed down the ladder and hugged them both.

       "How`s Maggie?" Jesus asked.

       "Still pregnant and getting bigger." She and Daryl hugged. "Where`d you get the guns?"

       "Long story," Daryl said. He exchanged a look with Jesus and sighed.

       When they entered the office Maggie and Theo, who was now her secretary, were discussing the supply inventory. "Well, look who`s back," she said coming over to them. She hugged Jesus first then Daryl. "Hey." She held him tightly. "I really missed you."

       "Yeah," Daryl said quietly and hugged her back,.

       "Forgive me for asking, but why are you here?" Theo asked obviously disturbed and perturbed. "I thought you two decided to skip town."

       Maggie went back to her desk and slammed down a heavy book causing him to jump. She then noticed the guns they carried. "Where`d you get those?"

       "On the road," Jesus replied. Maggie sensed he was holding something back but also figured he must have a good reason.

       "And you think you can stay here?" Theo asked reluctantly.

       "This has been and is going to be our home," Jesus replied. "What`s it to you anyway, Theo?"

       "Theo`s my secretary now," Maggie said. Jesus and Daryl exchanged sour looks.

       "I suppose he`ll want his cot back in the storage trailer." Theo looked at Daryl and sniffed. He could never hide his dislike for Daryl and looked directly at him. "Sorry, we had to take it down when we moved some supplies. You`ll have to find someplace else."

       Daryl moved towards Theo, who was now on the receiving end of an unwavering Daryl Dixon stare, but Jesus put an arm in front of him to hold him back.

       "Daryl will be staying with me. I assume my trailer is still available," Jesus said.

       "You two, umm, together," Theo said wagging his finger from one to the other.

       Jesus noticed Maggie was slightly bobbing up and down with delight.

       "Yeah, that`s right. You got a problem with that?" Daryl asked somewhat miffed. He gently pushed Jesus aside and got directly into Theo`s face.

       "No, no. I mean, each to their own, right?" Theo said backing away then giving them a mock smile. "I`ll send you flowers in the spring if you want."

       "That`s enough, Theo. Why don`t you go look for those blueprints of the house. I think they`re in the attic," Maggie said.

       "Look, we`re tired, we`re hungry. And we`re filthy." Jesus moved closer to Theo when he said the last word. They took a few more steps forward causing Theo to bump into a file cabinet. "Oh, and by the way, Daryl does shower. I`ve shared a few with him."

       Maggie had to clamp her hand over her mouth and turn away she was laughing so hard.

       Daryl was staring hard at Theo and took a couple steps towards him, then Theo practically ran out of the office.

       "Your trailer is still there," Maggie said trying to get control of her laughter. "That bed isn`t big enough to accommodate two. I`ll see about trading it for something bigger."

       "I wasn`t aware Theo was interested in helping out," Jesus said.

       "You know how I give everybody a chance. This is his. Until we get your trailer ready you can stay in the extra room upstairs. Oh, and Theo`s room is right next to it."

       With that said they left the office. Theo was standing in the foyer and Daryl took a couple steps towards him. Jesus grabbed his arm and pulled him back, not letting go until they were out of the foyer, up the stairs, and on the first landing.

                                                                                                                               *****

       "I`m so happy you decided to stay here at Hilltop," Maggie said to Daryl in the upstairs bedroom. Jesus had left to get cleaned up.

       "This is where Paul wants to live. I can`t imagine my life without him now," Daryl said his voice soft and low.

       "You know, there`s something different about you that I can`t quite put my finger on. You seem more centered, a little more at peace." Maggie paused. "Are you feeling alright inside?"

       "Always gonna be a lot of stuff. I`ll work it out. Paul and me ain`t gonna hide our love."

       Maggie looked at Daryl in the loving way a sister would a brother. "I have a feeling Beth is smiling so big down on you right now."

       "She didn`t want me to dwell on the past. I got somethin` to look forward to." Daryl paused and looked down, his eyes becoming misty. "I can`t be mad at myself no more for what happened to Glenn."

       "Oh, Daryl." Maggie gathered him in her arms. "I`m so glad to hear you say that." She let tears run down her cheeks, both of joy and sadness.

       At that point Jesus, in his bathrobe, entered the room. "Everything okay?" he asked.

       "Everything`s fine," Maggie said. She and Daryl separated. "Everything couldn`t be more fine. I better get going and let you clean up. I expect the two of you downstairs for breakfast in the morning." She and Jesus shared a fist bump as she left the room.

       "What was that all about?" Jesus asked.

       "Buryin` Glenn`s ghost." Daryl sat down on the edge of the bed and removed his shoes.

                                                                                                                               *****

       The boom box on the side table blared out Alien Sex Fiend`s  _'New Christian Music_ _'_ as Jesus roughly grabbed Daryl and flipped him over pinning him to the mattress. He came down to kiss him, then found himself flipped over with Daryl on top.

       "Gotcha," Daryl said.

       "Wanna bet?" Jesus wrapped his legs around Daryl and managed to flip him off the bed. Daryl quickly got up off the floor and leaped onto the bed, Jesus rolling out of the way. Daryl then grabbed him and pulled him towards him, followed by a long hard kiss. "Gonna give it to me rough, asshole?"

       "Shut up and kiss me, sexy beast." They rolled around some more their naked bodies undulating to the music, their lovemaking becoming more intimate.

       "Come to Jesus and be saved," Jesus said in between brutally lustful kisses that turned him on even more.

       In the hallway Theo emerged from the bathroom in his robe, an annoyed and somewhat disgusted look on his face as he listened to the rough shenanigans, loud music, and moans of lustful pleasure coming from the bedroom that was next to his. Did they plan to keep it up all hours of the night? He snorted and went into his own bedroom closing the door firmly shut.

                                                                                                                               *****

        The next morning Maggie greeted Rick and Michonne when they came through the gate.

        "You look extremely happy this morning," Michonne said to her as they walked across the yard.

        "Things are looking up," Maggie replied. "Can`t say that often enough these days."

        "Any news?" Rick asked. His expression was somber, as it had been for most of the winter.

        Maggie nodded. "We have a couple who is crazy-can`t-keep-their-hands-off-of-each-other in love."

        "I wonder who that could be," Michonne said glancing with uncertainty at Rick.

        They trudged towards Barrington House through some melting snowdrifts until they reached the front door.

        "Come on in and warm yourselves up. Enid is making cinnamon rolls. And we have some guests. They`re having breakfast with us before they head over to The Kingdom."

                                                                                                                               *****

        "I don`t think you could have farted any louder when we passed by Theo`s room this morning," Jesus said snickering as he and Daryl cuddled close together on one of the two cushioned benches in the kitchen. Over by the stove Enid shook with laughter as she put the rolls into the oven.

        "Smells better than the walkers." Daryl playfully nibbled on Jesus`s ear.

        Jesus reached up and flipped some hair out of Daryl`s eyes. "Are you ever going to get a trim? Maybe a little more style?"

       "No. Why?"

       "Enid`s pretty good, aren`t you Enid?"

       "I cut Maggie`s hair." She started to stir up some frosting.

       "You like my fine greasy hair that hangs down like a mangy dog." He and Jesus rubbed noses.

       "Well, yeah, I do."

       "I ain`t no pretty boy like you." He lightly bit Jesus`s lower lip and they kissed.

       Jesus sighed. "Can`t help falling in love with the rugged back to nature look, I guess."

       "Maybe Enid`s got a grease ball I can put on your head." Daryl winked playfully at her, which she acknowledged with a grin.

       "They showed up yesterday morning. I understand they kept my secretary Theo awake all night with their rough sex and loud rock music," Maggie said as they entered the kitchen,.

       It was Michonne who laughed the loudest. Rick`s eyes said it all with relief when he saw both Daryl and Jesus, who were now engaged in a deep kiss. Maggie went over to see what she could do to help Enid. Michonne went in the direction of a small storage closet located down a narrow hallway. Rick deliberately closed the kitchen door with a loud slam, but it didn`t seem to get their attention. He stood there, his hands on his hips, and scraping his boot against the rug.

       "Hey, Daryl, I need to talk to you about the condom situation," Rick said as he tried to keep a straight face.

       Daryl and Jesus were surprised at the voice and broke apart. "Why?" Daryl asked after a pause. "You think we really need safe sex?"

       "You never know, the walker disease may also be an STD," Jesus said in a loud whisper and snickered.

       Daryl got up and he and Rick embraced. "We heard you two were missing for quite some time," Rick said getting serious for a moment. Jesus stood and they shared a brotherly embrace. "Oh, yeah, Michonne and I found something of yours." Michonne emerged from the short hallway carrying Daryl`s crossbow.

       "Safe and sound," she said.

       "I thought one or both of you might be dead," Rick said.

       "I almost was. I`ll tell you about it sometime," Daryl replied. He took the crossbow from her and they hugged. She then went over and gave Jesus a hug and kissed him on the cheek before going to help Enid and Maggie. Daryl dug into his pocket and handed Rick the map with all the depots marked then set the crossbow aside. He sat back down, putting his arm around Jesus.

       Rick realized that something else had happened in their lives. "For some reason I knew you two would find each other," he said trying to be serious.

       "Oh, you did, huh?" Daryl said as he and Jesus both looked at him. He sensed Rick was up to his usual nonsense.

       "Yeah. You never leaped out of truck and chased anyone with such enthusiasm. I knew it had to be love at first sight."

       "I wanted to kick his ass," Daryl said in his familiar spirited manner.

       "I wanted to kick both of your asses and did," Jesus said. "But all Daryl does is punch me in the face, throws me to the ground--both of you pulled guns on me."

       "Which at the time we thought you deserved," Rick said.

       Jesus looked from one to the other. "And I had as much fun as the two of you did."

       "You had--." Rick was at a loss for words. "You did not," he finally said. "Were you having fun, Daryl?"

       "Maybe," Daryl said.

       "Of course you had fun. And you didn`t pull a gun on me last night," Jesus said.

       "Not just any gun," Daryl said flirting with him. "And it was fully loaded."

       Jesus hid his face somewhat embarrassed, but snickered at Daryl`s vulgarity.

       The three women burst into howls of laughter hardly able to concentrate on fixing breakfast.

       Rick could only stand there with his mouth agape not sure what to say.

       "Sit down," Daryl finally said.

       Rick just shook his head and emitted a single laugh. "Crazy-in-love is right," he mumbled as he sat down on the other cushioned bench and leaned back, lounging with his hips at a sensual angle and seductively crossing his legs.

       Maggie sighed. "I just love my gay sons."

                                                                                                                               *****

       Rick and Daryl had gone on a walk to discuss strategy and Enid had taken Michonne over to the blacksmith to sharpen her sword. Maggie now sat in Jesus`s trailer as Jesus packed a few things for the trip to The Kingdom.

       "I promise you the bigger bed will be in here when you two get back," Maggie said.

       Jesus looked at her and smiled. "I think we`ll need it. This one is a bit--cramped--for two people, even though we do like to cuddle a lot."

       "So, how do you like it? Being close to someone."

       Jesus sighed, stopped what he was doing for a moment and closed his eyes. "I never thought it could be this wonderful." He opened his eyes and looked at her. "The odd thing is, both Daryl and I felt too vulnerable to let anyone in. But the right person comes along and it`s not so bad. It feels so right to be with him."

       "I can see how well you two relate to each other."

       "He`s deep in my heart. I don`t want anyone else there. Is this what real true love is supposed to feel like?" Jesus sat down on the bed and looked directly at her.

       "I can only go by how Glenn and I felt about each other, but I would say 'yes'."

       "I know there are difficulties ahead, I mean he`s a pistol sometimes. The mere fact that he has opened up to someone is quite profound. A lot of people won`t believe it."

       Maggie stood up and came over to sit beside him. "They will when they see the two of you together. When he does go off, you can bring him back down to where he needs to be." She took his hands in hers. "And he will show you that you are worth it."

       "Can our love already be that strong?"

       "Yes." She leaned over and kissed his forehead. "You don`t have to be afraid anymore, Jesus."

                                                                                                                               *****

       After walking around the perimeter of the far wall of Hilltop, Rick and Daryl now stood in the yard. They had discussed strategy and the placing of the depots, both knowing that the thaw would bring their troubles back to the forefront. They also discussed the possibility of Gregory`s betrayal. What was most troubling was the subject of Dwight.

       "I know that`s one reason you don`t want to stay in Alexandria," Rick said. "You still believe he can help us, don`t you?"

       Daryl was silent for a long time. "I don`t know," he finally said. "You watch your back around him."

       "I understand that." Rick sighed. "I also understand that this is where Jesus lives and you want to stay with him." He paused. "How long have we known each other?"

       "Since Atlanta. I was a real jerk back then."

       Rick laughed. "Yeah, you were. But we learned to trust each other when we got to know each other. The best of friends, right?"

       Daryl nodded. "Yeah."

       "Then I need to ask you this. Why didn`t you ever trust me by not coming out to me? I mean, I know why you hid that part of yourself. We grew up around the same damn bigoted people. Daryl, I wouldn`t have judged you." Rick`s earnest expression indicated how much he cared for his friend.

       Daryl mulled Rick`s question for a moment. "I was hidin` from myself." They stopped in the middle of the yard as if to survey the place. "When did you guess?"

       Rick chuckled. "It took me a long time. I think it happened after the incident with the Claimers. I never fully understood why you did some of the things you did. Stepping up to feed Judith when I was out of my head at the prison. That was the most touching thing anyone has ever done for me. My biggest surprise was that it was you, Daryl."

       "I wasn`t in love with you if that`s what you think."

       "No, I don`t think that at all. When you came back after we discovered Merle was still alive, that was another time I couldn`t quite figure out why."

       Daryl paused uncertain how to say what he had to say. "I was nothin` but redneck trash to Shane. Thought you felt the same."

       Rick`s heart felt tight and he bit his lip. "Never thought that at all, Daryl. I saw how you were when Merle wasn`t there."

       Daryl looked Rick directly in the eye. "I wanted to tell you." He shrugged. "So much was goin` on."

       "I want you to know that you are still my brother. I want you to be happy and I know you are happy with Jesus. After watching you two at breakfast, Michonne thinks you`re the cutest couple she`s ever seen."

       Daryl smiled slightly. "Can`t imagine my life with nobody else." He paused. "I was in a dark place. Paul pulled me out."

       Rick nodded, looking at Daryl as someone who was just as human as everyone else for probably the first time. "Can you tell me where the two of you disappeared to? You said you almost lost your life."

       Daryl hesitated. "I can`t. Another colony of survivors. A woman saved my life from an infected cut. I can`t say no more."

       Rick nodded. "Alright. I`ll accept that for now."

       "We`re ready to fight, Rick. For what it`s worth."

       Rick stood there and looked in Daryl`s eyes, then nodded. "You know, I think I`m even more scared of you now. You`re more focused than ever. That makes you lethal, not that you already are." He paused. "I also saw the same look in Jesus."

       "We`re gonna win."

       "Yeah. We are."

                                                                                                          *****                     *****                     *****

 

**EPILOGUE**

 

       King Ezekiel and Carol stood at the gate of The Kingdom as it was opened and Daryl and Jesus, riding on bikes, entered, having come all the way from Hilltop on a full day`s journey of traveling by back roads.

       "Jesus! Daryl! Welcome! The messenger from Hilltop said you had emerged from the wilderness and returned to us," Ezekiel said as he spread his arms wide.

       Carol went up to Daryl and they hugged. She stepped back slightly and looked at him. "There`s something different about you. What`s going on?"

       Daryl looked directly at her then quietly replied, "You were right." They climbed off of their bikes.

       "I`m afraid we can only stay a couple nights, Your Majesty," Jesus said to King Ezekiel.

       "Your presence is always welcome no matter how much time you spend with us." Ezekiel turned to his steward Jerry. "Have two rooms prepared."

       Jesus held up his hand. "Just one room will be fine. If possible all we require is a bed that`s big enough for two. We`ll talk to you later about Rick`s ideas and intentions."

       Ezekiel raised an eyebrow then nodded. Daryl put his arm around Jesus`s shoulders and they shared a quick kiss on the lips.

       "'Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind'. Cool beans," Jerry said smiling broadly. It was Carol who laughed.

       "Jerry, forget the Shakespeare," Ezekiel said. "I don`t believe he ever said 'cool beans'. Prepare the room and then prepare a feast. Jesus and Daryl shall sup with us tonight."

       Carol followed behind them and much to her amusement, noticed their hands were touching each other`s asses. Every once in a while the hands would move, probing and squeezing. It told her that their love was still fresh and new and probably would be for a long time, if not for the rest of their lives, however long that would be. It was her opinion that both had found each other`s soulmate--and she couldn`t be happier.

                                                                                                                               *****

       Everyone sat around enjoying glasses of wine after a sumptuous meal just talking or mingling with each other, Carol spending most of her time with Daryl and Jesus. She playfully ruffled up Daryl`s hair. "My Pookie. In love."

       "Stop."

       Jesus put his arm around Daryl`s shoulders. "And the honeymoon isn`t over yet." Then Carol saw something that she never thought she would see and had never seen. Daryl turned and for about a tenth of a second, smiled broadly as he and Jesus exchanged loving looks.

      Carol snapped out of her brief surprise. "I thought as much." She reached into the pocket of her shirt and pulled out a tube. "Found this in the supply shed." She handed it to Daryl. He looked at it and showed it to Jesus.

      "That should make things slide a lot easier," Jesus said clearing his throat then seductively licking his lips.

      "There`s more where that came from." Carol wiggled her eyebrows and knowingly winked at them. "To Pookie and Mookie. From Carol."

      "Mookie?" Daryl asked.

      "I have to call him something."

       Daryl rolled his eyes and got up. "I need a refill."

      Jesus noticed Carol looking at him quite seriously.

      "Be good and kind to him. He`s been through so much," she said softly. "You`re the first person he`s ever allowed to come so close, even more so than Rick or me."

      "I know. I love him very deeply, Carol. I`ve had my own problems with intimacy. But not anymore. Not with Daryl, anyway."

      "Sometimes out of our pain comes our strength. I can tell he loves you, too." She leaned over and kissed his cheek, ruffled his hair, then smoothed it out. "I`ll be looking after you as well, you do realize that, right? I guess that makes me your fag hag."

      Jesus laughed. "I hope we become good friends, Carol. He thinks a lot of you." He paused. "How long have you known about him?"

      She smiled. "That he likes men? Believe it or not, I figured that out early on when we were at the prison. I just knew he was a good person when he looked for my daughter when nobody else would."

      "He has a heart of gold. Too bad it took an apocalypse for people to realize that." Jesus noticed her looking at his neck.

      "Is--is that a hickey?" she asked somewhat amused.

       Jesus quickly arranged his hair to hide it. "The asshole is fond of giving me those things."

      Carol laughed then reached over and squeezed his hand. "Jesus, be honest with me. Where do you two plan on staying for the long term?"

      "We`ve discussed this a lot and decided to call Hilltop home. Perhaps we`ll come here to re-energize, when we need to get out of the fray for a bit. We do not plan to avoid Alexandria, either. The Saviors and Negan do not frighten us or own us. The war with them is going to get pretty intense. So you could say we`re staying and we`re not staying."

      "Sounds like something Ezekiel would say," she observed.

      "It was his idea." They both laughed. "Both of us are outdoor cats, Carol." Jesus noticed that Daryl was bending over Shiva who was flopped on her back and he was rubbing her belly. "And speaking of cats. Take a look at that."

      Carol`s eyes widened when she saw what Jesus was pointing at. They glanced at King Ezekiel who had an expression of joy and fascination on his face as he watched the spectacle.

                                                                                                                               *****

_"Where`s your brother?"_

_The twelve year old Daryl Dixon snorted. "In prison again." He was hanging out in the makeshift treehouse of his neighbor friend Lonnie._

_"So you`re stuck with your father again. Is he being mean to you?"_

_Daryl nodded. Two nights before in a drunken rage, Will Dixon had struck him with a whip on the back. It still smarted. "He used the whip on me."_

_"Can I see?" Daryl lifted up the back of his shirt and showed Lonnie the welt. Lonnie winced. He and Daryl had been friends for at least four years and he had never seen anything like it. "Does it still hurt?"  
_

_"Yeah." Daryl took a long drink of the soda they had brought with them._

_Lonnie leaned towards him and whispered. "I discovered something the other night that feels real good. Want to know what it is?" He took a bag of what looked like flour out of his pocket._

_"Merle has stuff like that. I don`t even want to touch that shit."_

_"It`s really good stuff. It`s cocaine. Larry told me about it." Larry was Lonnie`s older brother._

_"Merle sells that crap." Daryl had seen what it did to his brother and had no interest in trying it._

_"You can try just a little." Lonnie took some out of the bag with his finger and sniffed it. "It`ll help with your pain."_

_Daryl was tempted, but he shook his head. "It ain`t that bad." No matter how much he was hurting he was going to learn to take it._

_"What are you two boys doin`?" a loud harsh voice said from below. It was Daryl`s father. Lonnie quickly hid the bag and Daryl looked down._

_"Just hangin` out," Daryl said._

_"Get down here, dammit!"_

_Daryl sighed and climbed down the ladder. He could tell his father had been drinking again._

_"We were just talkin`," Daryl said moving away from him. Will Dixon grabbed him and roughly dragged him inside his house._

_"I saw you with the bag of dope." He ripped Daryl`s shirt off and shoved him down to the floor. "I`m gonna beat the holy hell out of you, boy." Behind him he grabbed the whip and struck Daryl with a hard lash. Daryl cried out in pain and curled up in a ball. He raised it again..._

_"Don`t hit me, please!" the boy screamed._

"No! Don`t hit me!" Daryl cried out in his sleep. "Please." He lashed around under the covers causing Jesus to wake up. Daryl curled up in a ball. Jesus was soon wide awake and put his arms around him.

       "Sshh, it`s alright."

       Daryl was awake now, breathing heavily as Jesus rocked him. "He was gonna hit me again. My father..."

       "It was a dream, Daryl. He`s dead now. He can`t hit you anymore." Tears streamed down his cheeks as he rocked Daryl until he calmed down. "Just a dream."

       "Hold me. Just hold me."

       Jesus held him closer, letting his warm embrace calm his lover. He looked out the window and noticed it was lightly snowing. Winter had not yet let go as the mid-March wind blew the flakes around. Daryl sighed and let go.

       "Better?"

       "Yeah. Sorry I woke you up."

       "Do you have these nightmares often?" Jesus brushed the hair out of Daryl`s face.

       "Not for a while. Nobody knows I have them. Not even Rick or Carol."

       "I won`t tell anyone." He kissed Daryl`s forehead. "I`m here now."

       Daryl looked deeply into Jesus`s eyes. "Yeah. I guess I ain`t alone no more."

       "Let`s get back to sleep, huh?"

       Daryl nodded. Jesus helped him put the blanket back over him, then cuddled next to him. Probably for the first time in his life Jesus felt loved and wanted. He was content.

                                                                                                                               *****

       A beam of sunlight hit Jesus`s face as he slowly woke up that next morning. He glanced at Daryl who was still fast sleep beside him. The room wasn`t large, but it wasn`t small, either. The double bed fit just fine. King Ezekiel had made arrangements that they would have a permanent room for their visits to The Kingdom. The sound of the wind chimes made from metal scraps that hung outside the window tinkled slightly as a soft breeze blew through them. The snow of the night had accumulated in spots and some on the ground had already started to melt. He noticed that yellow crocuses were growing in the window box, which caused him to smile at the thought that spring was getting closer, even though it would mean that the war with the Saviors would continue in earnest again. But he only wanted to enjoy the moment as the birds still sang in the dawning day. At least that hadn`t changed.

       Then above he birdsong he heard the soloist of the acapella choir start to rehearse  _'Stand By Me'_ a classic Ben E. King track, accompanied by an acoustic guitar. There was a deep sigh beside him and movement. Jesus rolled his head over and noticed Daryl looking at him.

       "Hi," Jesus whispered.

       "Hi." Daryl still was not quite awake, still slightly hung over from the night before, but it didn`t seem to bother him. The incident with the dream had completely dissipated with the dawning daylight.

       Daryl put his arm around Jesus and they kissed long and deep, then he nuzzled his face against his neck, softly kissing it. Jesus`s hand reached up and he slowly ran his finger up and down Daryl`s muscular arm.

       "Ah, shit, I drank too much wine last night," Daryl said rubbing his head and resting it on the pillow.

       Jesus also had a slight headache but decided it wasn`t all that bad. "I don`t remember much. I hope nobody else remembers much either."

       "Maybe there ain`t much to remember. Carol will let us know," Daryl said as he reached over and grabbed the pack of cigarettes. He lit one and breathed in the smoke, somewhat helping his hangover to abate.

       "Can I have a couple puffs?" Jesus asked. Daryl handed him the cigarette and Jesus placed it between his lips, enjoying the rush of nicotine in his system. He coughed slightly, but he could get used to the habit again if he wanted to. It was always tempting whenever Daryl smoked. He handed the cigarette back to Daryl. "Want to stay in bed all day and fuck? We need to try out that lube Carol gave to us."

        "Oh yeah." Daryl held him closer as he smoked with the other hand. "I think I`ll do some huntin` today."

       Above the singing they heard the sound of distant thunder as the sun became obscured by a developing thunderstorm. "First winter, now spring. Are you sure you want to go hunting?"

       "Wouldn`t be the first time I hunted in the rain."

       Jesus sighed. He was coming up against the Dixon wall of stubbornness. Lightning flashed bright and the thunder was louder. "I`m going to ask you again. Do you really want to go hunting in this weather?"

      "No."

      "That`s better. I`m going to put on my robe and slippers, go down to the cafeteria and get us some breakfast. Then I`m coming back here," Jesus said.

      "Guess that means we stay in bed and fuck." Daryl lounged on the pillow, eyeing Jesus up and down with a lustful look on his face, the cigarette adding to his sexiness.

      "We can give ourselves a day for a bit of a honeymoon." Jesus returned Daryl`s lustful look with one of his own as he got out of bed and slipped on a pair of undershorts then his robe.

      "Yeah." Daryl looked at him lovingly. "Ask Carol if she`ll bring us room service."

      Jesus licked his lips. "Let`s see how far we get first." He paused. "Maybe we can find a way to dance naked in the rain." Jesus had never felt more in love.

      Daryl`s only reply was the raising of his eyebrows.

                    *****                      *****                  *****                    *****                      *****                        *****                     *****                        *****                           *****                                        

 

      

     

     

     

 

       

   

 

      

 

      

       

      

       

       

      

       

 

     

       

       

      

       

      

      

        

       

       

       

      

      

        

        

      

      

       

      

   

 

    

       

 

      

       

      

        

       

      

       

      

       

 

 

 

 

 

      

                                                                                                                                   

     

  
  

     

     

      

     

 


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